Saved single woman mid-30s falls into sexual sin with a man in the church. This man is not strong in the faith...not too serious about Christianity. Could take it or leave it...
She is advised by the pastor to marry him because she has already slept with him and he's basically a "good man." Has a good job, but like Pastor Deanna said, he's a Christian without Christ.
I told hubby I would not have advised her to do so. This woman left her husband (didn't divorce) just seperated. He divorced her some time after that.
Knowing that this man was NOT living for God, I would not have advised her to marry him.
What are you thoughts? How would you advise this woman?
The days of marrying somebody just because you had sex with them should be OVER as far as I'm concerned. Even if you are pregnant, for that matter.
Two wrongs don't make a right. If a man is not right for you, he is not suddenly right for you just because you slept with him or had his child.
It is better to repent and get over the ramifications of your sexual sin, and stay single, or in the case of girls who get pregnant, repent, have the baby (give it up for adoption, or raise it) and stay SINGLE until God brings the man along you are supposed to have.
This is old thinking, that if a girl has sex with a guy she then has to run out and marry him to make it right. It still wouldn't be "right" that they did it prior to marriage, even if they got married. As a married couple, they still have to repent of the sin they did before marriage.
I have seen in the church when a young girl gets pregnant and her parent force her to marry the young man to "make it right." Problem is, he could be the worst thing in the world for her. Then she not only has to deal with a pregnancy, but a bad marriage and usually a subsequent divorce. It's better to not marry at all than to divorce - even if you've been sexually active and even if you've got a child.
God would forgive that woman for the sexual indescretion, and the best thing she could do would be to accept God's forgiveness, do a "180" in her behavior, and go on to the future God has for her.
I agree!!! Marriage is hard work as it is...when both people are 100% committed to God and to each other.
To marry someone who is "take it or leave it" in regards to spiritual matters, regardless of whether or not you've slept with him is a HUGE mistake.
I'm happy to be alive and all, and I love both of my parents to pieces - but my dad was very much "take it or leave it" with his faith. They didn't sleep together before marriage - but eventually my dad did leave his faith. And his marriage, which had deteriorated, anyway. I am living proof that children of divorce do not always go off the deep end - but would I wish what my family went through on anyone? Absolutely not!!!
In short - I would advise this woman to ask God's forgiveness, abstain from future premarital sex, and wait on Him to bring her the right man. If Mr. "Take it or Leave It" eventually ends up being that man (assuming he gets on track with God!), fine. But they should not be pressured into something as serious and sacred as a marriage!!!
there is just no way I could get behind this wedding. My first husband pretty much forced himself on me right before the wedding. I married him because I felt I had to, even though he said he was a Christian, then sinned against me! I went through with it, and was abused for 20 years. Too many red flags here! No way should she marry this guy....repent, "Go and sin no more", absolutley, but not marraige to this guy. Lori
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
