Over the weekend I learned some very valuable lessons.
1. There are unscrupulous people in this world who prey on the goodness of the church. We had a woman call with a really good sad story. Caught her in a lie when she couldn't remember how many children she had. Over the phone it was three, when we went out to visit her the number had grown to four. Lesson learned...always verfiy persons story if possible. And it was a good one too!
2. People have their ideas on how I should minister. These ideas fill my head when I minister and then I can't hear the Father clearly. How about I go directly to the Father myself? You can keep what "you think" I should be doing. I get so messed up behind folk and their opinions. I'm not entertaining them anymore.
3. I'm really learning that the gift of discernment is so vital as leadership. Hearing God clearly is my utmost responsibility. I've learned not to second-guess myself. I got in trouble last week when I took "godly" advice for a situation and the whole experience left me feeling questionable.
4. This call to pastor really has me walking in a place I've neverwalked before. I have to rely on Him for everything. When I look to people to show me or validate me or elevate my low-self esteem when it comes to ministry...I get totally messed up. I really feel alone out here like I'm the only woman who has experienced this. I know that can't be true but it really feels like it.
I'm really working through some issues. I know the Father will lead and guide me and speak to me. It's Him I really want. More than anything else, I want Him.
One of my favorite songs - it's not about the ministry, but it definitely could be applied to it - has a line that says, "There's a fine, fine line between 'You're wonderful' and 'Goodbye.'"
So true...we need to look to God and no one else to affirm our calling!
