You all remember we had a house guest who joined the ministry but then left. She said she had a problem with submission and was going to seek out healing and deliverance on her own. Our leadership was no longer needed.
This is after we housed her for four months, drove her around, encouraged, prayed, counseled. We had so much invested. We paid for her to come. She was supposed to submit, turn her life around, get on good footing, be a blessing to the House and so on. And she called the whole thing off. Never mind she got on my ever-loving nerves but we were going to go through the process because we knew God sent her and that He wanted to do some awesome things in her life. She negated the process.
So her new pastor calls and wants the skinny. Why she left. I told him what our ex-house guest told us. She had a problem with submission and particularly "black" ministries. We told him what we encountered and knowing this, he embraced her into their ministry.
Now what changed in about two months is beyond me. How all of a sudden now she can submit where before she couldn't is mind blowing.
When she left her home, she went to an extended day and blew $200/week for about a month. She contacted this pastor and she's got free room and board again with his daughter!
They've bought her a new keyboard and sponsored her for a leadership conference later this week! Unbelieveable!
I feel so preyed upon. Even when she was coming to our ministry she was very chummy with a "white" ministry. (Sorry that's how she classified them.) When I spoke to her new pastor he said that she still was and goes there on Sunday evenings after morning worship. We both believe this other ministry has no idea of her behavior.
I know I said in my last post, when folk leave - let 'em go. But this one is hard because there was so much of me invested. Not to mention all that my family endured and the money we spent! I know God will repay but this still hurts and I'm angry with her for not doing what she was supposed to do!
But even as I'm writing...I feel a kind of release because God has sent us a beautiful sister to in a word replace her. She has a beautiful voice and plays keyboard just a little and is willing to learn. This woman has a teachable spirit and wants everything God has for her. We're developing her for ministry slowly while she gets delivered and becomes a sho nuf worshipper.
As far as the other woman is concerned I pray this prayer....May the Lord watch between me and thee while we're absent one from another...
Okay, I have some strong feelings about this. First of all, as a pastor of a church that currently has 22 nations represented, this is what I feel...
You don't want any believers who always deliniate that line between "black" and "white". In our church it's not black and white, it's just families. The only notation we ever make about someone in that sense is to celebrate. (We have special international dinners where we celebrate where everyone came from...) In fact we're getting ready to have a latin night. It's going to be latin food, dancing, you name it. But the minute somebody starts talking that junk of, "maybe I would be better off sitting under a black pastor..." (in our case, because we are white) I just say, "you're probably right, hit the road because we don't have your DNA around here..." I don't believe in segregated churches, nor the fact that people can be ministered to better by one race or another. I get just as much listening to TD Jakes as I do Rod Parsley. I love them both and could be pastored by both of them. Or, in the case of a woman, Juanita Bynum or Joyce Meyer. It just really irritates me when people start that whole white pastor/black pastor garbage.
So for THAT reason alone, loose this woman and let her go. You don't want her spouting that junk to people in your church and make them think..."hmmmm maybe I would do better sitting under a pastor of another color..." Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Second - pastors who do the type of thing this one did irritates me to no end. They will pay for it. THEY DO NOT HAVE INTEGRITY. Integral pastors side with the pastor - PERIOD. When somebody comes to my church and they are talking about their former pastor, it's only a short while before they are talking about ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So it doesn't pay me to take them in.
This other pastor is desperate and grabbing for people, that's all it is. And he/she is going to have to answer for that.
Hold your head up. You're right, it's something to be angry about, however don't let it grip your soul and ruin this season of your ministry. Let them go and realize God is sparing you of far more than you may realize at this moment.
Hubby agreed that that's a good rule of thumb to abide with...side with the man and woman of God.
I'd want to know what in the world makes him think she'll behave any differently? She got a new keyboard out of it she may leave in a month or so! Then again, I have no idea what goes on in that ministry. It could be a perfect fit. Dunno.
I know that hubby and I gave her the Word of the Lord and for that she will surely be accountable.
I do feel better about it all. Her departure is no reason to lose victory! And for all the other reasons Pastor Deanna mentioned too!
I responded to this at the very bottom of your long post regarding things that you have learned in ministry. I had a similiar situation almost a decade ago. We don't know the BIG picture or how life's going to pan out. This is just one of those situations where we have to wipe off the dust of our feet and move on.
