I just want to encourage all of you with something God has shown me and it's changed my life. It's simple, but it's something I believe many on this board struggle with, though I have never met most of you in person and have not seen you face to face many of you have spoken on the board about dealing with controlling your weight. As all of you know, this is something I struggled with for a long time, and have just had a breakthrough in the last 2 years and have now lost 40 lbs., still working on getting 10 more off.
Sunday morning one of our deacons who is a good friend as well brought a picture of me from about 4 years ago that he had saved on his blackberry (PDA) and he talks about how he can't believe it was really me. The photo was of my husband and I, and the deacon and his wife at a restaurant and I look huge!! Well, he showed it to me Sunday to remind me of how much I've lost and he said, "everybody should see this! Look what hard work will do!" (It's compliments like that that sometimes keep you going on this type of weight loss journey.) He then said, "you should be so proud of yourself." I said, "I am. No one but me really knows the intense moments of my journey and how hard I've really worked." And if those of you reading this haven't gone through such a journey or are not on it right now, you have no idea just how hard it is for those of us who have done it and are still doing it. It's harder than breaking a cocaine addiction because let me tell you, you can forsake coke the rest of your life but you cannot forsake food. Everybody needs it to live. Imagine if you were a drug addict and you were told, "you can break through this addiction but at the end of it all we still need you to take at least a little bit of it three times a day." My word, nobody could do that! I have even heard doctors say, indeed food is the hardest addiction to break because you still need it.
Well, all that to say this. Most of us in ministry are fat because we let stupid things or people get to us. We couldn't handle the situation as our heart longed to, couldn't say what we wanted to say (many times for fear of our job, our position, our spouse's position, etc. etc.) and so we stuffed it...right down our throats in the form of a bag of potato chips or a big bowl of ice cream. Things happen, and instead of being able to let it out, we have to shove it in.
One day I realized I was allowing stupid things and stupid people to cause me to be fat. My response to their actions or my circumstances was to punish myself rather than to deal with them, or respond in such a way that would benefit me instead of harm me. I was actually harming myself in response to how I was being treated. How crazy was that??!! But many of us do it.
Let me tell you ladies, weight loss is a spiritual matter, and it is a mind battlefield all the way. You have to get to the truth, sort through the lies, and BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOURSELF. Ask yourself, "why am I punishing myself because so and so in the church just spoke to me that way??!! That's crazy! I need to go and BLESS MYSELF right now, not harm myself!"
My church situation/minsitry situation now is not even comparable to my past. It's night and day. We are in such a loving church, it's amazing. But of course we still go through stuff. Anybody in ministry does. What I find in a larger multi staff church is that most of the time you deal with staff stuff that drives you to the nuthouse. Finally in the past 6 months we have come into our own in our church where our staff is flying on all cylinders and we FINALLY have the right people in the right places. But before that I did feel like I was going to become certifiably crazy at times. So here's what I'm telling you. Anytime something happens for the past 2 years, I have to talk to myself and tell myself how crazy it would be to eat on behalf of what is happening. I have to say out loud sometimes - yes, out loud --- "IT MAKES NO SENSE TO EAT A BUNCH OF COOKIES RIGHT NOW. THAT IS SO DUMB. I WILL NOT LET STUPID PEOPLE MAKE ME FAT!" Then I ask myself, "What can I do to bless myself, improve myself, and at the same time - burn off the irritation that I am feeling?" Usually it comes in the form of riding my bicycle around my neighborhood, getting on the elliptical machine, doing a project like cleaning out my closet, going on a power walk around the neighborhood, taking a ride in the car, putting the music on loud - something "happy", going to an inexpensive but fun women's store and getting myself something frivilous and fun like a new watch that I can only wear with one or two outfits! Taking a long bubble bath, going and getting a pedicure, etc. One of the best things to is to talk to another person in ministry. I am not kidding you that instead of getting fat again I have often had LONG and I am talking LONG conversations with another pastor/pw to get me through the moment. I literally call a friend and say, "PLEASE TALK ME OUT OF EATING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!"
I just tell you all this to say that I understand - I am a fellow struggler and I want to share with you what helped me. When I look around me and see those in the ministry still struggling (and seeming to lose their struggle) with weight, I realize it's probably because they are still harming themself in response to how others are treating them. And most don't realize it. They think it's just that they enjoy the taste of food. But that is not it. It's not about the food. Whenever we overeat it is usually because something is eating us!
I started this post tonight because I know summer has started and some of you are probably on the diet journey again...i know my WW class is absolutely full of people right now who are trying to lose for the summer. And I thought I would encourage you with the fact that all of you are way too special to let crazy people make you overweight anymore!!! So, get out there and do something to bless yourself today because YOU SURE DO DESERVE IT!
OMG! Pastor Deanna! I had that epiphany about a month ago. DH and I were talking and sharing. He had an area he struggled in and his fix for it was not to let people upset him to the point where he takes it out on himself.
So I have a saying...you're not about to upset to the point of sabotaging myself. I will not allow you to drive me to chocolate for solace!
It's powerful thinking this way. I'm forced to see something for what it is and deal with it.
And the scale is still retreating toward lower numbers!
For the past three weeks, I have worked out five-times a week -- cardio and weight training. I think the weight training may be "hindering" scale numbers but I know it will all catch up. I take the stairs on my job now instead of the elevator and park farther away.
I only have to eat right and exercise today. And I don't let anyone...not hubby, not church folk, not good news, not bad news and certainly not myself drive me to the pantry.
I am working to reframe my thinking - when I am irritated at a person or a situation, my first impulse tends to be, "I deserve this" when it comes to food. Whether it's a double quarter pounder with cheese...an all-you-can eat Chinese buffet...whatever...my tendency is to want to feel sorry for myself and eat until I am sick.
This is something I wrote in my blog awhile back:
Food will not fulfill me emotionally or spiritually. The second helping is not going to taste any different than the first. I don't win a prize for cleaning my plate, and my husband is not going to stop loving me if I save the pizza he ordered me for the next day because as it turns out, I had already had dinner before I came home. I don't "need" extra food just because I'm bigger than someone else. I'm bigger than other people BECAUSE I've been eating the extra food!
I am really excited to start a new ministry in a functional church, but I still need to "take authority" over my eating issues. I know that no situation is perfect, and that I am still going to have frustrating times, in which I will need to channel my frustration in other areas besides stuffing my face (my best friend and I feel very blessed to now be working in two different churches that are relatively close to each other...we are definitely "venting buddies!!) I'm also loving where I live now, because of the free gym and pool that are included. The pool is outdoors, so it's only for the summer. But the gym is about ten paces from my apartment door...ALL YEAR ROUND .
Along the same lines...one of my biggest struggles in the weight loss battle is going out to eat. Whether it's because I'm feeling too lazy to cook, or just plain don't have time in my busy schedule to make a meal...I eat out way too often.
What are some quick, healthy meals that you have all found to make during particularly hectic times in your ministries? I'm open to suggestions...I am a big fan of all veggies except beets, celery, and anything ending in "sprouts."
I've been blessed. Weight is not a struggle for me, per se. But I do know that I need to eat healthier. 3:00 hits & my body says that I NEED some chocolate. I need to get more exercise. I would have a lot more energy to chase the young'uns if I exercised more.
The one area that I'm continuing to pray about is my need for a friend in the ministry. My best friend isn't in ministry (she & her dh actually left the ministry b/c of all the "stuff" they had to go through.) She's an encourager & I love her to pieces, but she lives too far away. I've really been praying for a friend, someone with whom I can go have lunch, go to the mall, call when I need to scream at someone in the church etc. This has been my prayer for a while now, at least a year. In fact, in my "why me" moments this week, I've asked "Lord, when are you going to send me that friend?"
That's why you Ladies are so near & dear to me. I am so blessed that I can come here & know that you all understand. Love ya'll!!
Some of my favorite things to eat while staying on track:
Baked french fries. I find that the "name brand" ones are so much better, in fact I like them almost as much as when they are truly fried. I usually get Ore Ida ones, and bake them about 15 min. Very good, and this is quick. Something quick I do when I'm tired is stop by the store and pick up a Rotisserie baked chicken from the store deli. Then I come home and bake some fries in the oven. Add a quick veggie and you have dinner.
As a snack to hold me over - Fat free vanilla yogurt. I add fruit sometimes or sprinkle some grape nuts on top.
My two favorite Lean Cuisine's are Margharita Pizza and Peanut Chicken. I always have those in my freezer and if my family's not home w/me or I am eating lunch by myself or whatever I often eat one of these, I never get tired of them.
ANYTHING on the grill. We use ours all the time, all year round. We have a gas grill. We do everything on it from chicken to fish, to shrimp. I eat lots of fish - grouper, tilapia, salmon, etc. One of my favorite ways to do salmon is in the oven. Bake it about 20 minutes, topped with a McCormick packet of "pesto sauce" mix. I mix it with water and olive oil. Very lite...mmmmm...good. Make this and a baked potato, etc. Very good. Cooking on the grill is VERY quick, only minutes, and I throw a Baked Potato in the microwave.
SOUP. I love soup. Just to tell you, Progresso soups are pretty low in calories. In WW we learned that a whole can is only 4 pts for most of them, and 1/2 can is 2, of course. Some days, I just have the whole can of soup for lunch or dinner, if I'm really hungry. I just eat half of it sometimes for a snack, etc. It's very low cal but it will fill you up. that is, if I can keep them around the house. My kids eat them like they are going out of style.
I have some other ideas I'm sure but I'm just brain dead right now...will think of more for later.
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