I'm taking a counseling class this Summer I session. I've had psychology and a few counseling classes in the past, but felt the need to update and, to be honest, see what Christian counseling is like today. It's been awhile since I've set in college classes and my brain doesn't want to settle down to reading and learning but we're--my brain and I--are getting there.
Now, a question for all of you. My Sr. Pastor had to write a recommendation letter for me as I re-enter college. No problem. But, when I talked to him about the class he pointed out that I can do NO counseling as the church could be sued.
I reminded him that anyone can sue anyone for whatever they deem a reason. He frowned. Plus, we--either he, or I--meet with people all the time who need comforting, or prayer, or just to share problems in their lives.
Also, in our community we have many elderly people who are chronically ill, or caregivers, or widows/widowers, or people who are dealing with elderly parents AND kids in college. And, like most of you, we have to deal with drug and alcohol problems in and out of the church. We (as a church) deal with people all the time--call it "meeting with" or call it something else, it is still counseling.
I'd like to be able to identify problems and point people to qualified counselors. I'd like to be able to know what to do or say when a woman has her 3rd stroke and she needs comforting, for example.
Okay, now my problem. How would you deal with it? As part of my class, I have to present a video of a counseling session -- a group of 3 or 4 -- to show my ability to conduct a session. I'd like to ask women from my church. Do I dare? Am I walking on thin ice since my pastor opposes "counseling" and is concerned that we'll be sued? Should I, instead, ask people at the....senior center, for example, or friends, or family members who don't attend my church?
Any advice would be helpful. Senior pastors, could you share also?
If your senior pastor is opposed to it, you definitely should not use people from your church! Is he opposed to ALL counseling, as a philosophical belief, or just opposed to people without a license doing the counseling?
He opposes counseling...period. Often speaks against it from the pulpit. To me personally he said not to counsel because the church could be sued.
He has been a strong supporter of my ministry and I don't want to offend him. And yet, I see the need to know what services are available and to learn how to handle situations. For example, someone loses a child. As a minister, I need to know how to help that person deal with grief and I need to know when or if the person should be sent on for more psychological counseling--and where to send them.
We (both the senior pastor and I) have set with people in trouble--a mom who lost her job and had no prospects, a chronically ill man, a couple in marriage difficulties. We listened to their stories, then prayed for them. I'd call that counseling. The pastor calls it ministering.
So, as I write, I'm realizing that perhaps it is symantics. counseling/ministering.
My husband is very encouraging about the class, so I don't want to give it up. But, perhaps I'll go to the senior senior or talk with friends rather than ask friends from the church to assist me.
Thanks for your comments. They caused me to think through some things.
I have heard it advised by many people not to call it counseling. Many people are indeed being sued. Things are crazy out there. I was told by someone to call it "spiritual guidance." Yes, we are giving them counseling. But when we call it that, they could turn around if something happened as a result, they could sue and say that they thought they were getting professional counseling but now such and such happened.
I make it clear to people in our church that we do "pastoral counseling" - that we are not therapists, doctors, nor even liscensed counselors. We are liscenced MINISTERS. I tell people I am there to advise them from the Word of God, period.
Today's people EXPECT something more - most I have found don't way to pay for counseling and the cheapest most available thing is to go to their pastor. The problem is if something happens, lets say someone in their family commits suicide or has a mental breakdown, or they lose their marriage, etc. despite your "counseling" they can turn around and blame you. Of course they can blame you for anything whether you are counseling or not but it relieves you of the fact that they can sue you and win for "malpractice" in counseling if you don't tell them you are counseling in the first place. Think about it...what are they going to sue you for? Fruadulent altar work? You just want to do whatever you have to do to protect yourself.
Most churches have malpractice insurance for their pastoral staff, just for pastoral matters that you may be sued for. We do. But this would not cover "counseling" in the sense of, if people claimed they were coming for therapy or something psychological. We just have to be careful to cover ourselves.
When people call and say, "can I make an appt. for counseling?" I say, "well, we give biblical advice in this office if that is what you are referring to..."
Your pastor is just nervous about this and wants to protect himself and the church. As long as the people are being ministered to and getting spiritual needs met, who cares what you call it? you are right, it's semantics. Call it spiritual guidance, biblical wisdom, call it altar work, call it whatever you want, just get the job done without calling it counseling if that is what he is asking for.
At the "mid-states" location of the National Women in Ministry Conference this September, there is going to be an extended panel discussion on "Advanced Counseling in the Context of Ministry." Three PW's will be on the panel sharing their philosophies and experience with pastoral counseling, and there will also be a Q&A time, I believe! One of the panelists is my former PW (the one I grew up with), and has counseled several members of my family, including my DH. All three are from different sized churches in different districts - and very distinct styles and personalities, so I'm excited to see what kind of discussion and learning takes place [unfortunately, I won't - I'm facilitating an informal "Coffee Talk" discussion for children's pastors during that same time slot!]
So if you live anywhere between Minnesota and the Dakotas and Texas, this conference is for you! Or if you live on one of the coasts and missed yours, come anyway. I'd love to meet some of you in person.
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