Do you ever feel like you deal with drama queens in the church? Just curious. I think we all have people in our church who pray for things, then get upset when their prayers are answered. In other words -- attention getting behavior to the max.
I have a few women in my church right now who have been praying about spouses who are dealing with bad - actual mean - unsaved husbands. In all of the cases they were praying for them to peaceably leave. Which, the bible says if the unbelieving spouse wants to leave - let them. No problem there. So I prayed along with these women - if the men aren't going to surrender to the Lord and stop the behavior - let them leave. In all cases these men chose to leave.
Okay, so now would you believe the women in question are now behaving as if they are "devastated". Exactly what they prayed for has happened - the husbands have peaceably and amicably left. But the wives without exception have backed off from any ministry within the church, citing the need to regroup from this devastation...the tragedy that has occurred...and meanwhile I'm thinking, "isn't this so called 'tragedy' what you prayed for?"
Sometimes I think some women love a cycle of chaos so they can just keep getting attention...
Do you think it is out of order in such cases to say, "oh, I'm sorry...did we pray the wrong way? Should we pray that they immediately come back??"
It's so silly to me.................I just don't understand the thinking behind it...all I can say is it seems completely "attention getting" to me when women do this.
On the one hand, as a child of divorced parents (in a situation much like the one you described - with an unbelieving spouse who was not the most pleasant person to live with once he backslid!), I remember praying that very prayer: God, let him get saved, or just let them get a divorce so that we'd all just be happier.
But when it did happen, not only was I faced with the reality that my dad was gone, but then I started to wonder, "Did my prayers make it happen?" So there was guilt on top of that. And some anger at God for not answering the prayer in the preferred method - bringing him back to Jesus!!
But then again, I was twelve when my dad moved out.
And my mom actually got MORE involved in the church and drew CLOSER to Jesus through the experience. After the first 2-3 years, she was even able to look back and say, "If I had to go through all of that all over again to get closer to the Lord, then I would, because it is so worth it!"
I know that she gets frustrated with women who are drama queens - because she is a stable, well-adjusted Christian woman who has been divorced for 14 years, a lot of ladies come to her for advice. And then they don't take it. And then they go back to her when more drama ensues.
So...with a kid who prays that kind of prayer, I definitely try to cut them a little slack. With an adult who insists on acting like a child, that's a completely different story...
I see your point, especially as a child -- I would have felt the same way. I guess it's just so odd to me that these particular women literally said, "PLLllleeassse pray that he leaves..." then when he does, it's described as "devastating."
In the cases of the women involved where I'm at - they are not more involved nor closer to Jesus...so this is discouraging for me. In the one particular case, my dh thought when her husband left, she would be "set free" and we would probably see her absolutely bloom in ministry but it has been the opposite. Almost like as soon as he left, things fell apart.
Makes you wonder........was the problem really all this "mean guy"?
Ah, yes!! My mom worked with one of those...she complained while she was married, she complained throughout the divorce, and now she complains because she's single...
A few years ago (this would be mid-divorce ), a group of them stayed at our house for a teacher's convention, and DH gave them a ride into downtown. He came back home and said, "I know more about this woman's personal life and her divorce than I ever wanted to know!"
She hops from one church to another - each time, she joins a new one with a new traumatic story, milks them for all their sympathy, and then moves on to the next...
People like that definitely grate on one's nerves...
), a group of them stayed at our house for a teacher's convention, and DH gave them a ride into downtown. He came back home and said, "I know more about this woman's personal life and her divorce than I ever wanted to know!"
