Here is the run down. Depressed and broke all alst week (dh in China you know) Literally the last two days before he got back I was sitting BROKE! Deposit didnt make it to the bank in time so I had NO MONEY!!! SO the things I had time to get done, I didnt have money for. Then when we got DH Wednesday it was 1 am before we got home and in the bed. Thursaday I took care of him (sick stomach readjusting to our food and water) and just spending time with him (how could I tell him I had stuff to do? It was the last thing on my mind!) Yesturday, his parents cam e up to see us and took us to eat and just left today and I couldnt not NOT visit with them. So here I am Saturday night and all this decorating for VBS to do and it has to be done by tomorrow after noon. And 1) I dont want to do VBS. I am not a childrens minister. SO being a teacher isnt my thing. I would help but they put me teaching. My anniversary is tommorow so I wont do it tomorrow but will the rest of the week. 2) I have three rooms to decorate by tomorrow and I am having to spend my money onthis stuff and just cant shake the feel bad feeling of not having my act together. I feel like here was my 1st chance to be a good pastors wife and I failed. I DONT want to do it and now dont have time to do it well.
Cassandra, YOU ARE a good pastor's wife. You took on something that really isn't your gifting in doing the VBS. God doesn't give strength for unordained tasks. Stop knocking yourself out to do things that you are not called to do. In being the spiritual mother of your church, pick up the things that give your heart passion and zeal. Don't just do all the leftover things that nobody else wants to do. We all have to do things we don't want to do from time to time, myself included. (all of us do) but...and this is a BIG BUT... not all the time!!!! Not as a rule. Sometimes we pick up the slack, but this shouldn't be our mainstay. You have to minister out of your giftings. Let this be the last time you do something with the kids ministry. Hey, let me tell you, I said no to it years ago, even when somebody pushed and pushed that I'd lead the kids church (this was many years ago.)
YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T EVERYBODY WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE HEAR ME ON THIS.
Don't give in to people's whims and then say, "I'm not a good pastor's wife." You are a good pastor's wife when you help your husband and feed the flock with the giftings and passions that he has instilled within you. It doesn't come by doing what the people tell you to do. You have to follow THE CALL OF GOD, not the call of the people.
Hear his voice calling you and then follow it.
Love you,
Deanna
P.S. get your head up!!! Don't you dare walk into that sanctuary broken down tomorrow. You are HIS WOMAN on assignment, and dont' let the enemy beat you down.
Awhile back I decided not to beat myself up and wear myself out by doing the things no one wanted to do. If I suggested something here and there, and got the volunteers initially - but when the "real" work was to be done - no one showed up. So - I learned to drop it. When I heard complaints - I said that when I get committement other than lip service,we'll try it again. Until then I'm not going to saddle the wrong donkey. In other words - learn to say NO and stick with it.
Deanna is so right on this one. Once again she is offering wise counsel based upon years of experience; to which I say "AMEN!". Don't let others turn you into to the do whatever no one else wants to do lady. Go after what you feel led of God to do, and graciously decline everything else. And don't feel guilty about doing it. It is the right thing to do.
I constantly have to remind myself that every minute I spend on something that God did not intend for me to do is one minute less time that I have to complete my God-ordained assignments. You are so gifted. Use your time operating in and perfecting those gifts and thereby being a blessing to your husband and to the body of Christ.
We went out for our anniversary last night (brief date while kids were at VBS) no money for a babysitter. But it was fine. I just enjoyed dh company! He's my love! But anyway..back to my topic... I feel better and did tell the lady my reasons for not having my act together and was honest about it not being my thing. She was perfectly ok with it and all. I am going to enjoy it as best I can and there werent but like 7 kids maybe so it wont be so bad. There were more adults to help than there were kids. I feel bad now for wishing we werent doing it (what's the point has been my attitude) and the kids ...my kids included...who are used to bigger productions and more elaborate stuff... had a blast and cant wait until tonight. So I feel even worse. God help my attitude. The lady has the best of spirits about VBS and is so sincere and I have the bad attitude. I'm being the CA! lol
Dh and I need a good dose of patience. We've never done a plant like this before. We had 12 people Sunday and 5 kids. That's been the crowd for the past 2 weeks. So we've been a little down and out but realize it takes t-i-m-e. And that means not tomorrow. Or even next week. Possibly not next month. (Sorry I am encouraging myself here) Thanks for the encouraging words ladies. YOu guys are so good to rally around and speak uplifting words. It feels like an amazing thing how I tell dh about you ladies and I wouldnt know you if I bumped into you! I hope we can meet some day. After all the hurricanes though. I am not coming to Florida right now. lol
Interesting you should mention this. I want to have a pastoring partners retreat. I think I live in a good area of the country to have this because everybody seems to love to visit Florida! I would like to know how many on the board would be interested in coming if I gave plenty of notice (a year in advance, maybe?)
I would! as long as there were no hurricanes in the area! My dh would like to meet this Deanna woman. lol Kind of like the expression lindsey gave me that day over me saying I was your internet friend . She was like...sure ok. whatever you say. lol THat was so funny. Deanna I tell you something else I would like is maybe you put some streaming audio and video on your site form some of your best meetings (or like when you were on Arlene's show (forget the name) . And a link to read some of the articles that have featured you (I just like stuff like that).
I would love it as well if you were to have a pastoring partners retreat! I know I don't post much but I would love to meet you and all the other ladies. I think it makes such a difference to be able to put a face to the person you're talking with and actually get to talk to them in person. I'm in! Whenever you're ready.
I would love to have a pastoring partners retreat! Talk about a great time! I will do whatever I can do be there and help if you need it.
Last year I met Flow. We only live 90 minutes from each other. We have been keeping in contact and visiting since then and it has been great. I am sure that meeting the rest of you ladies would be just as wonderful.
Awesome! I'll get my thoughts together and see what I can come up with...I would want it to be FUN, of course, AND AFFORDABLE! Would most of you be flying or driving? Just a thought...tickets to Tampa are pretty cheap sometimes being that it's a hub. Some of our friends have flown here for $100 or less, round trip. You just have to get them at the right time.
Tell you what, let me know...when each of you gets a chance...what time of year would be best for you? Probably winter, that way you could get away from the cold? Let me know your thoughts.
Cassandra, I would love to do as you suggest with the streaming video. I don't have any experience with that, but I think somebody in my church knows how to set that up so I will ask him.
Since I'm in Florida, I'd drive. Our best friends are in Lakeland, so dh & kids would probably visit w/ them while I'm w/ you gals. Winter sounds good to me.
I am coming from South Carolina. I will probably fly because it is a 9 hour drive. Winter sounds good to me too. The only time that may be bad for me during the winter is the beginning of December because I have finals.
