Just out of curiosity Deanna, how have the people in your church acted about your weightloss? How much have you lost and is this the first time you've dieted publicly? Has there been any jealousy over your achievment? And (one last question) what was the main motivating factor that finally got you on track? And have you ever heard that your stomach is supposed to be the size of your fist? Is that true?
Cassandra
Ps. I am glad to report I have not eaten myself sick with my dh being away. Its been hard but I have not cut back-- but I have not binged either. SO atleast its downhill. Just same ole same ole.
1) How have the people in my church acted about my weight loss -
Great! They have really cheered me on and sometimes I think I will never hear the end of it (I wonder if they will ever get used to me being thinner, because they bring it up ALL THE TIME.) If anyone is not happy with it, they have not said anything at all or given me the vibes that they don't like it.
You have to realize, for the first time in my life I'm in an extravagantly "loving" church. These really are great people who seem to really want the best for me, and for each other quite honestly. We just don't have the "mean spirited" people in our church that I have encountered in so many ministry situations before. I thank God every day for that, BELIEVE ME. I know how bad it can be out there - I've gone through it!!!
I think because of my honesty as well...I have always preached about being in reality about our struggles. I've told them I have struggled with everything from my marriage to my weight. (No, don't lay out all my "dirty laundry" to them but I let them know, nobody's perfect including me.) They seem to be very happy that I finally have the victory in this. Now I've told them I have to move on to my next area thaT I need to have victory in -- we all have something to work on.)
2) How much weight have I lost? Almost 40 lbs. Lots of inches, how many I don't know. I never measured myself before I started. I was a size 16 when I started and now I wear 9/10, with my pants starting to get baggy again.
3) Is this the first time I've dieted publicly? Well, it depends on what you mean by that. In the past I did diet, and would tell people that I was doing it. I would succeed for a while, then fail. This time I didn't tell anyone. I was so sick of failing and having to admit it in such a big way because I had "announced" it to everybody thinking that would keep me accountable. In my case, telling everyone never kept me accountable. When I would fail, sometimes people would say, "how are you doing with your diet?" Then i'd have to admit: terrible. Then I would feel worse and just go out and eat more! Then feel worse again...
This time, I just decided not to tell anyone and if I failed, then I wouldn't have to be miserable recounting that fact to everybody. If I suceeded they would all just know it by looking at me. When I lost 10% of my body weight, (that's when WW says most people notice) everybody noticed and mentioned it to me. I really do not talk about it unless people bring it up. I don't talk about it incessently...(sometimes I know that drives people crazy in other people who talk about how many calories they are allowed to eat, or they can only eat "certain foods" and all that stuff. Being on WW, I can eat anything I want, there are no restrictions. I just keep track of how much and plan accordingly. I do all that in my head or on my weight tracker. I eat the same food everybody else does at events, dinners, etc. Just usually a different amount. And i have planned for it, not done it spontaneously.
My doctor did know I was going on it (she goes to my church) and had recommended on a dr. visit that I do WW. Also one other woman in my church who goes to the same WW class I do knew about it, but she didn't blab it to everyone, she's a mature woman. I don't keep it a secret or anything now that I've obviously lost the weight but my point is, I don't go on an on to people about it unless they ask me in which case I'm happy to tell them.
3) Any jealousy over my achievement? Not in my church. I have had a little bit of "weird" feelings from some friends in the ministry who didn't see me for months, then saw me again. A few who needed to lose some weight seemed almost depressed that I have lost weight and they haven't. Almost mad that, "it happened for you and not for me." I never brought my weight loss up to them (they brought it up to me) and I assurred them that it's not that I have some special in with God or that I'm any better than them. It's an every day struggle for me just as it is for them. Victory doesn't just fall on you, you have to push through to it. Nobody is just "blessed" to have weight fall off. I am still a fellow struggler and have to make those decisions day by day. Sometimes I have a really bad day. But then I get back on track. And that same thing works for anyone else - I'm nobody special in that regard.
4) What was the main motivating factor that finally got me on track? First it was a doctor visit with my Dr...Rosemay Latortue. You will never believe what she said to get me on track. First I have to tell you, Rosemay is black. The reason I bring that up will be clear at the end of my story. She is hysterical. She'll break it down for you in a way that you never expected. On one of my visits she was speaking to me yet again about my weight. I could go in there for bronchitis and she'd bring up my weight. WELL...she said, "what are we going to do about your weight?" I said, "alright, I'm sick of you asking me. How much do I have to lose to get you off my back?" She said at least 25 pounds. Then she proceeded to tell me that she wanted to share something with me about growing up in the black church. She said, "Pastor Deanna, I have to tell you something. You always talk about the importance of being a spiritual mother and how God has called you as the spiritual mother of our church. Well, you're right, He has. Let me tell you about the "spiritual mothers" of the black church. They are women of God, full of faith and power. They dress to the hilt. They are powerful prayer warriors. Everybody goes to them for wisdom and counsel, and prayer. But the truth is, nobody wants to look like most of those "mothers" in the black church because they are big and fat!" Then she says, "OKAY, DO YOU WANT TO BE A BIG FAT CHURCH MOTHER???!!!! I don't think so!!!" Through her words, I realized that the women of our church look up to me spiritually, but I needed to lose the weight so that I would serve as a better example to them in a physical way. Several of them had asked me to preach on the topic of weight loss and being fit. I never did it and told them, "i won't do that, because I don't have the victory over that. It would be so hypocritical of me." So, I never spoke to it and just shyed away from it. Were Rosemay's words hard for me to hear? Yes, but she was right. It was my wake up call as well as the fact that all my clothes were not fitting. On November 17 right before Thanksgiving, I said, "if I gain one more pound over the holidays, I'll jump off a cliff!" That was the day I checked into WW and decided not to be the "big fat church mama" anymore.
5) Have I heard that your stomach is supposed to be about the size of your fist? Yes, I have heard this. I am not a doctor, don't know if it's true but I will ask Rosemay.
A few other things - keep in mind, I've been doing this steadily since Nov. 17...have not done anything "radical" -- have been steadily on the journey, just doing the "right things" and making better choices. Also working out. Doing something crash diet oriented does not work and neither do radical things like restricting certain food groups. You need a balanced diet.
There's a great book out from WW by a cardiologist, that shares that the American Heart Assoc and Diabetes assoc. does not approve of any diet that you have whole food groups restricted, nor do they approve diets where you have to buy packaged food. You have to eat "real" food in the real world, for anything to last. forget the milk shakes, and bars, and all that crazy stuff. Rosemay tells her patients, just remember, "there's always a better choice." Example: when I go out, I eat a grilled chicken sandwich instead of a burger. It's simply a better choice and sometimes a hard one for me to make. I always order mashed potatoes instead of fries. Simple choices like that add up to.......a whole lotta weight loss! And remember, it doesnt' matter how long it takes, because you're doing it for life. I don't do anything I can't keep doing. I don't restrict myself from things I know I can't do for life. Example: I don't do away with ice cream. I know I can't dispense with that for life, nor should I. I have some low fat ice cream everyday - in moderation - 1/2 cup to a cup.
I'll be glad to help you any way I can - just ask. I'm no expert, just a fellow traveler who will be on the journey for life! I'll be checking in to WW every week as long as I'm on this earth. Do I have victory? Yes, but I know this is a weakness the devil would love to drag me back into. I will remain accountable.
Love you - praying for victory for you in all things!
Gosh Deanna that is so awesome! I am between a 14 and a 16 and 5'7". I saw pictures of me the other day that were taken a few months after having my second daughter. In those pictures I look at them now and think I didnt look to bad! Though at the time I was unhappy. I was in a 10 then. I have put on 25 lbs since then and just wonder what is it going to take to get me finally doing what I know to do and should be doing. One of my main hindrances is wanting it off now. I want to lose all the weight yesturday!
My second biggest thing is I cant even keep my word to myself. I cave in to my own desires when I made the commitment to myself! HOw weak is that! I jsut once would like to be able to follow thru. With portion control and moderation. Follow thru with consistant, balanced exercise. I didnt realize how much weight I was keeping off just by walking in the evenings. And add the extra food on my plate. No wonder its been creeping on. Its just so hard to sink in that the small things will add up if you keep doing them. And becuase I have never had victory in this area (just a steady gain of a few pounds a year until this last gain (45lbs. over the past ten years) its hard to imagine what it feels like to be on top of it finally! I cant fathom how it must feel to succeed! But your testimony is so encouraging and I think its awesome. I am like you. I want others to look at me and be inspired by every aspect of my life, spirit, soul and body. I will be rereading that posts. You said some good things. Praise the Lord for your victory! How encouraging. I am motivated to pick myself up, dust off my backside and try again!
Absolutely! You CAN do it. One of the most important thing to remember -- ALL THE LITTLE THINGS ADD UP. Some weeks I only lose .4 lbs. (that is not four pounds, but POINT FOUR). On those weeks, I have to remember, every little bit counts. When you lose weight, long term, for good...it comes off slowly. It is hard to remember, but we put on this weight over a long time, and we take it off the same way. Just keep reminding yourself, "IT FEELS GOOD TO DO THE RIGHT THING!" Sometimes you have to keep doing it even though the scale does not move for a while.
I'm always here to encourage you and don't hesitate to ask me for any help.
One final question from me: How in the world do you get used to keeping track of your points? I know you have a busy schedule, too, and that is the main issue that I have: making sure I ALWAYS pull out my journal and record how many points I've eaten (being in WW, I'm sure you are familiar with the "if you bite it, write it" mantra!). It's just hard for me to stop what I'm doing and write down what I ate or what I'm going to eat. I tried a bracelet (where you just move the charm however many beads), but I generally don't like wearing things on my wrists, other than a watch - so that starts to bug me really quick!
Anyway, I can't afford to join both WW and Curves, and I'd rather spend the $$ on working out, so I try to count points on my own and check in with an online support group (It's called Getting2Goal.com, for anyone interested - it's a great place!). But that's my main hangup - I pretty much "know" the points value of what I eat (I'm boring - I eat the same stuff all the time!), but I just don't have an efficient way of keeping track of it...so then I inevitably go over because I'm not keeping track. Suggestions?
Ok I reread the post and have ANOTHER question or two..sorry.
If you went form 16 to 9/10 --that is where I am to where I want to be. Have you had any problem (this is personal and you dont have to answer if you dont want to) with like things being flabby? What I am asking is when you see people in magazines that have lost several inches and you know they've had kids , you just dont believe the pictures. You know they airbrushed them or something. Has losing it slow really kept you from having that problem? That would be a little added incentive for taking it slow if it keeps you from getting saggy? I know that may sound horrible to ask but that's been my fear! I carry alot of the extra size in my stomach. Not the hips the stomach. Picture what you look like when you just start looing pregnant and you got me! Bloated below the belly button! lol
But I have always been afraid if I DID manage to get the weight off my body would look bad. (As if it could look worse!!!!) But if you are buying low rise jeans I am thinking "maybe it wont be so bad then?!" Is that a bad question to ask? If so forgive me.
Have any of you tried diet pills? my bf is back on them and I just cant seem to make myself do it. IF you lose it on pills what happens when you get off the pills? ANd she has to have an ekg every month! I am starting a starch blocker and herbal thing but its just fiber and vitamins.
And I the whole point thing threw me off too. I am going to start eating off of salad plates, packing up the adult plates, committing to eating atleast 3 fruits or vegetables a day, and drinking my water. That's all I am changing right now. But now I said it. So you ladies can help me by asking how I am doing, if I am taking my vitamins and did I eat those peas today! Oh yeah I guess I should incorporate some kind of exercise in too. What is the minimum? lol NO just kidding. I will start back walking for 4 out of 7 evenings. I cant promise every evening. Does that sound like too much to try and start? Be honest. Is it enough?
I am ready to hang the 10's back up (I didnt get rid of them cause I wasnt going to let this become permanent) and get rid of the big clothes.
I'm a "list" person and am always writing things down, so it comes naturally for me to keep track this way. I do everything by a list, so I just add it. But for those who don't like to keep track like that, WW has a tracker that you just "x" off the points as you use them, not write down the actual items.
If you don't want to deal with flab, you've got to do this before you're 50. My friend who lost weight is 50 and she says she waited too long and will never be toned like me without getting an operation. And who wants an operation? Thankfully I did this before I'm 40. I not only did it slowly, but I work out. I do the elliptical machine. That tones your lower body like crazy. My tummy is my problem area, but quite honestly it's most white women's problem areas!!! (since being more health/weight conscious and talking to friends, I have found that in general, black women deal with rear end issues, hispanics deal with hip issues, and us white girls are stuck with the belly bulge battle!!!) You may never completely get rid of your problem area (most people don't) but you can greatly improve it. My belly still needs a lot of work but it's 100% better. If you are doing this now at this stage of your life, it's completely possible IMHO to bounce back and your skin is probably still elastic enough to do that, especially with as little weight as you have to lose. Those who are your age but have like 100 pounds to lose may deal more with the flabby skin issue. Really you have nothing to worry about. Just start losing and toning.
I work out because I don't just want to look good with my clothes on!
