I'm one who really would like husband to quit ministry. I'm tired of our people, our church and lack of growth. It wears on both of us and I hurt to see him hurt. Back up a bit - we took over this church 6 years ago after Sr. pastor was killed. it was running pretty well - but lots of division and splits. Sure you know what I mean. Lots of hurt. Well - we did name change to "make break from past" and become a "new church". Some people left - oh well - some refuse to beleive we've "started over" and live in past. Yet - some new folks have not a clue of our past thankfully. It's not that it's bad - but it's time to move forward. Anyway- my husband toys around with quitting and becoming a teacher. I did that too recently and got certified. I like my secular world (albeit full of Christians) better than my church world. I just ask for prayer and such. My moniker says POW - it's a play on words - instead of PW - I feel like POW.
It is nice to meet you. As I read your post my heart goes out to you. I don't know how many times I have written posts stating that I wanted to quit. We all get to that point in life. It gets hard. But we can not cave in, give up, or quit. We have to hang in there when God has called us. We have to finish the race. I am often reminded of how Jesus finished His course. He finished the race. I am sure it was not easy for Him living in this earth, having to die on the cross for this ungrateful "mankind." One thing I have learned about Jesus is that He did it out of love. Even while we are sinners Christ died for us, and we have to emulate and demonstrate this same type of love towards our people in our churches. No matter what we do let it be done with love. It can be so easy to say we love people, but love is active. It is not passive, there has to be a demonstration of love toward people that we "claim" that we love.
I must say that I am so grateful to Pastor Deanna for helping me to see how important "love" is when you are called to Pastor. I have seen firsthand how some people go into ministry for other reasons than b/c they love people and want them to grow and prosper. I have seen men and women of God Pastor for money and fame (so sad).
But, girl, hang in there. It will get better only if you get the right perspective and the right attitude about what God has called you and dh to do in such a time as this.
For such a time as this - that has been my battle cry so to speak my entire life. I know this is is a God designed purpose for both of us. I just wonder if it's changing. He is praying for another pastor to come and take it over. Then he prays for opportunity to build a real building. We're in a shopping center right now. But thanks for the words of encoruagement.
My opinion is that while you may at some point give up the ministry there where you are - that particular church, DON'T GIVE UP ON MINISTRY ALTOGETHER. Perhaps after six years, God is showing you your time is up there. Have you prayed about that? I'm sure you have...just asking.
But do not let your experience at one church turn you away from the ministry.
Larry and I have faced many things over the years that made us want to quit...but we always realized --it was not an option to leave our calling. We did have the option to leave a church, but not the ministry.
Perhaps your season is over there. Only you and the Lord know...I would just encourage you to pray and fast about it, but do not let this church hold you back from staying in ministry. There's a church out there for you that will be a good fit, and if not...well, maybe it's God's will that you start one!
I was asking dh if he'd consider going to another church or anything. We're independent - but part of an association of like churches. Anyway- he said he'd give up the pastoring - period. We've talked about if he leaves - becoming part of a bigger church for our kids to be involved in. Slowly getting involved - being Sunday onlies for awhile. I know this isn't going to happen - but you see where is hurt is. We have only one child is Kids' Church- our 8 yr old. We sometimes do a lesson - but she'd rather hear DAddy preach. Our congregation is primarily composed of over 40''s without kids or Sr. Adults with no kids. Really odd - and I feel for my kids not having many others to hang out with. Just hard to know what to do.
Just curious: Are you part of an MFI (Ministers Fellowship International) church?
I attended an MFI church for three years before taking the plunge to become a children's pastor, and some of what you said...an independent church that is part of an association of like churches...rang a bell!
If so, they are a wonderful support system for pastors. Don't hesitate to contact them! Or whoever your association leaders are. They're there for a reason, and part of that reason is for discouraging times such as this in a ministry!
No we're not. It's a group of I guess you could call "spirit-filled" or non-denominational churches. The headship of the organization has been helpful in the past- but they primarily urge dh into shutting the church down because of "lack of growth". "A healthy church has lots of people", etc. is what they say. He's asked for another pastor to come take it - but they won't suggest anyone - only to close it down. The only reason he stays with the association is it looks as if we have have creditability to ouor members to have a "covering" so to speak. They had a big regional meeting recently out of town. I told him I couldn't go because I am tired of their lack of "real moral" support and how they hurt him. Granted - dh came into a tough position. We've held this church togther, through God's grace I know, through all kinds of c - - -. The Sr. pastor who was killed was really more than just that- it was his younger brother that together they started the original church. He is healed of that hurt - and has come along way - but I think it's time. The only part he enjoys is the preaching part and preparing sermons. Everything else he dreads like a root canal.
Welcom to the Board!! I know how you feel - boy, do I know how you feel. Dh & I were at that place about a year and a half ago. Dh & I were at a small church, I mean, very small, in an extremely small community. Dh & I were the only "healthy" Christians there. A church cannot grow w/o healthy workers. Anyway, our "unhealthy" congregation, basically came against us in a very public way. I could not stay. I told dh that I would submit, but I was basically gone. He agreed it was time to go. What happened to the church? It closed down.
We learned a lot from that experience. Dh still struggles w/ that. He felt like a failure. He felt it was his fault the church closed down. It wasn't healthy when we took over. The people refused to get out of their self-centered ways & change. It wasn't his fault.
God wants us to have strong, healthy churches. God says HE will build the church ("Upon this rock, I will build my church." ) It's God building the church through us. As pastors, we can work really hard, plant seeds, & pray for the harvest. God is so anxious to use us for the harvest. But, if our congregation is standing in the way of the Lord's will, we are not going to see the harvest. There are times that God removes people that are hindrances. Then there are times He doesn't. If the church doesn't go forward & you've done what God has asked you to do, then the blood of the people in your community rest on the congregation's hands, not yours.
So, anyway, we left the church. Had to go through a period of healing. At some point, I didn't care if we were in the ministry or not. Thought about changing denominations. But God brought us through. We are now in a "growing" (notice I try not to say small) church, where God is doing great things.
I'm w/ Pastor D. Perhaps God is letting you know that you can move on. Maybe you need a short break from full time ministry to refresh yourselves & heal. Perhaps God is changing the direction/calling from your ministry from pastoring to evangelism. Seek God. Know that He wants the best for you. And that this season will soon come to an end.
Glad to have you on the board. I too know how you feel. We were previously at a church for 6 1/2 years and it was a lot you you and Trace have stated. The church was not healthy. It has a long history of raising hell and kicking out the pastors. We did not know this until we had been there for about 6 mos. After 5 years, I know that it was time to go. We would bring new people in, just for the members to run them off. They were not concerned about growth, only power/control.
Anyway, I said all that to say, I know how you feel. I am very passionate about ministry. I love to see people get saved, healed and delivered. But, there was a time when that particular church had drained nearly all of the life out of me and dh. I knew something was wrong when ministry became a constant chore. We all have bad days, but when we dread doing ministry, something is very wrong.
Now that we have left that church and started another ministry as God lead us to do, my passion is back. I am so in love with what we are doing. Sometimes I wish I could just quit my job so that we could do this full time. God has n ot lead me to do that just yet, so I won't. Don't let this situation that you are in take you down a road that you don't want to be on. If God has called you and your husband to minister, then don't give up on that calling. Don't let this experience define who you are, or who you will be. Determine in your heart that what God has called you to do is of utmost importance, and you will do what needs to be done in order to make that happen. If that means that you need to leave that church and take time to heal and prepare for the nexr season of your ministry, then be open to that. I am sure that you are praying about this. I know that God will lead you. Just be open to follow Him.
I totally agree that when our passion is gone - the ministry will suffer. I think that is why I pursued teaching as my new passion. I absolutely love this. I feel as though God has opened up a different ministry area because although I'm 42 years old and a "1st year teacher" - when the other 1st year teachers get together - I end up being Mom to them. They end up sharing with me kids problems or 1st year marriage issues, etc. I do pray for them. I even felt led to begin a prayer group that met before school once a week. Granted - only 1 or 2 faithfully came - but we needed to do a better job getting the word out. I've later heard other believers would have come if they had known. Others would have come - but their schedules would not allow it. Anyway- This is where my heart is. I just pray that my dh will find what ignites his passion again. I just read a book called the The Face of God by Bill Myers - a fiction book. The main character is a unpassionate pastor in the same boat as us. However, I really don't want dh to go through that hell to find his first love again. (his wife dies, he quits church and goes on advanture to find Aaron's Levite robe which has supernatural power) ha But thanks for everyone's input.
The only part he enjoys is the preaching part and preparing sermons. Everything else he dreads like a root canal.
