Just venting a bit here...you may want to get comfy - I kind of wrote a book!
Background story: In our church on Wednesday nights, we run Mpact and Royal Rangers all the way up through high school. This year, as some of you know, I am the teacher of the Girls Only (grades 9-12) class. Yes, I am the children's pastor. BUT, to make things less confusing for the church people, my SP has put all Wednesday night classes under me, rather than dividing up the program between me and the YP. And since we just started up the class again after many years (and apparently a controversial decision to end it way back before my time!), my SP's wanted to make sure that it began on a positive note. So - for the first year, at least - I'm the teacher. So this is why I, as the children's pastor, am involved in an issue that concerns youth ministry!!!
Okay, so a few weeks ago, our Mpact coordinator (who is also teaching the Friends class - 6-8 grade girls), had a brainstorm: "Why don't we do a joint activity between the older Mpact girls, the older Ranger boys, and the youth Bible study (our YP has a Bible study for those who are not interested in the programs - the actual youth service is on a different night of the week), just to have some fun and show that we're ALL united and not in competition with each other for kids?"
I thought it was a great idea. I talked to my YP, who also thought it was a great idea. We decided to go to a corn maze (Can you tell we live in Middle America, lol?!?!?!). We got it cleared in staff meeting, so it was a go. I called our Royal Rangers leader...who seemed amiable over the phone - said he was going to talk to his leaders, etc...
So last night before church I went up to him and gave him the fliers and permission slips, and he started talking about how, "We're on a schedule, and we can't just skip a night, yada, yada, yada." I explained that I was not forcing him to cancel class, but that this activity is going to happen, and I needed him to make sure he at least got the information out to the kids in the class. The last thing I wanted was for parents of boys to call the church office wondering, "Why wasn't MY kid invited to this event?"
I left his office, and flagged down my husband and asked him to go downstairs and make sure the information was distributed in the appropriate classes (besides being a bit obstinate, our RR leader is a bit disorganized!). He went downstairs to do just that, and got an earful...
Basically, this guy's main beef is that he is opposed to the very concept of youth ministry, and is upset that the youth Bible study students are included as part of the event. My DH tried to reason with him by saying that we are not saying that his teenage kids MUST participate - that is his decision as a parent. But he does not get to make that same decision for the other families in the church.
This man and his wife basically feel that by doing this activity, we are backing them into a corner and trying to get them to support youth ministry (and they feel that their view is the "Biblical" view of youth ministry - I have yet to hear them tell me any actual Bible verses that pertain to it, but whatever!) - like it's all about them. And (here's the clincher), "You know - people leave churches over this issue...not that we would ever leave, but..."
So in other words the whole, "We're on a schedule" thing was just an excuse.
You know? If you are that opposed to youth ministry; if you are really committed to a family integrated setting, then GO FIND ONE!!! Our church is not a family integrated church, and it's not going to become one.
My concern is for ALL the families of the church - not just one. We're moving forward with this activity, and whoever wants to attend is more than welcome. Whoever does not want to attend is not going to be gagged and shoved in the church van and forced to go.
And if they're so against "age segregation," what is he doing heading up Royal Rangers, anyway? Apparently it's okay for HIM to be the primary spiritual influence in other kids' lives; just as long as no one tries to speak into his kids' lives. People like that make me tired.
But bring 'em on! I've got the backing of my pastor, and I'm back in full force. They are NOT going to intimidate me or get me to back down.
I know you are ranting, but somehow I totally missed this post. I think your plan is fantastic! What a great way to incorporate all the different groups and put the kids first instead of the programs! Fantastic! We unfortuantely do not have an actual "youth group" we do however have three new teens attending church. Next year we will have a junior high group that God is already preparing my heart for for ministry! YAHOO! I am excited about that too! Right now we have 3 high school students and next year we will have 6 junior high kids! Which excites me cause 3 of wich are girls and I am hoping to start a Friends group. Right now the biggest thing we do to bring all the ages together is our monthly skate night. The local skate rink has a night set aside just for youth groups of all ages. So we gather the kids 4-18 and take them skating. This last month was the first time we got te high school students to attend an they loved it. Said they had a blast helping the 4-6 yr olds learn to skate. We are hoping to keep them coming and get them involved in ministry. We want to make sure they are committed to coming to church before we put them in a leadership role. We have watched too many times in the last 2 years of ministry of getting the youth involved and then watch them leave and that hurts the kids in CC. Keep reaching all the kids! Melissa
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
Puppetmaster ~ it seems like you have a lot of these type of people in your church and I feel for you. I know even one family like this is difficult to deal with and you have several. I don't know what the answer is...anyone I have had like this in our church over the years has pretty much quickly moved on.
I know you've been dealing with it for a long time now and the people don't seem to be budging. Just a constant resistance on some level that you have program ministries.
I don't have any answers for you but lots of sympathy and a listening ear to offer, always...vent away.
I pray you'll have a breakthrough in this area soon...
Funny thing is - it's pretty much one family, lol!
We have other homeschoolers in our church, but none quite as extreme as these people.
Which is really too bad, because I am really NOT anti-homeschooling. I think it's a valid educational choice for some families, and many of them (this family included!) do a really good job with it.
But they have turned so many people off to even the idea of considering it - our PW was brainstorming women in our church who could teach a small group for young married women, and she suggested the mom of this family.
Her daughter (a 26 year-old married woman) said, "No one would come. I wouldn't go to a small group taught by her."
The biggest problem with them is that they really feel like THEIR way of living is the only way to go. And they make people feel like horrible Christians, wives/husbands, and parents when they don't 100% get on board with their philosophies.
My DH and me are pretty much, "in one ear and out the other" with them, and actually have a pretty decent relationship with them. In fact, we are probably the ONLY leaders or staff members (apart from SP and PW) who could have been that direct and bold with them.
Oh, well - I guess their daughters will be staying home next Wednesday night. Me? I'm going to get lost in a corn maze ;o).
