How do I convince my husband to leave this church? He started it some years ago, but we seem to be in the same state or worst. There are churches out there for him to pastor, who MAY appreciate him/me more, and participate with us more. i am so unhappy. He is staying faithful here, b/c God told him to start the church and gave him a vision. But, can not he fulfill the vision somewhere else? They take us for granted, and I am tired of it. He is constantly warning them to do better. He has been warning, and encouraging them to do better for at least 8 years. They are still tripping. I am tired. I want to leave, even without him. How do I get through to him about making a change?
I am not sure you could "convince" your husband to leave the church but I would not suggest you do so. A man has to be convinced by God to leave a church, not by his wife. While we are influencers, we cannot be the deciding factor on whether a man stays or leaves or I believe in the back of his mind he will always question or possibly even resent.
That doesn't mean you are inconsequential or unimportant or that you cannot hear from God. Sometimes I hear from God before my husband ever does (and vice versa) but God himself must speak and confirm. Our wife/husband doesn't call us - God does. And if we're supposed to leave, God has to make that clear.
Please don't leave without your husband! I'm sure he's as frustrated as you are, he just isn't verbalizing it as much. He needs your support. That doesn't mean you have to keep killing yourself on behalf of these people. Maybe your husband feels he wants to keep charging on, serving these people despite their lack of participation. If he feels led to do that release him to, but if you feel led to personally pull back, I would also request the freedom to do that. Perhaps this is a season for you to be a greater support to your husband personally but not to expend yourself completely on behalf of the church. Maybe you are in burnout and in need of a little respite. Take the time you need, but please don't leave your husband. You are his wife before you are the first lady of the church. I know you know that - just a gentle reminder.
I know it's frustrating but you cannot "get through to him" most likely - it has to be God Almighty that gets through to him, if indeed he is meant to resign. Fast and pray and seek God about it and if your husband is supposed to resign God will put the pressure on him, and you won't have to.
I am not sure you could "convince" your husband to leave the church but I would not suggest you do so. A man has to be convinced by God to leave a church, not by his wife. While we are influencers, we cannot be the deciding factor on whether a man stays or leaves or I believe in the back of his mind he will always question or possibly even resent.
That doesn't mean you are inconsequential or unimportant or that you cannot hear from God. Sometimes I hear from God before my husband ever does (and vice versa) but God himself must speak and confirm. Our wife/husband doesn't call us - God does. And if we're supposed to leave, God has to make that clear.
Please don't leave without your husband! I'm sure he's as frustrated as you are, he just isn't verbalizing it as much. He needs your support. That doesn't mean you have to keep killing yourself on behalf of these people. Maybe your husband feels he wants to keep charging on, serving these people despite their lack of participation. If he feels led to do that release him to, but if you feel led to personally pull back, I would also request the freedom to do that. Perhaps this is a season for you to be a greater support to your husband personally but not to expend yourself completely on behalf of the church. Maybe you are in burnout and in need of a little respite. Take the time you need, but please don't leave your husband. You are his wife before you are the first lady of the church. I know you know that - just a gentle reminder.
I know it's frustrating but you cannot "get through to him" most likely - it has to be God Almighty that gets through to him, if indeed he is meant to resign. Fast and pray and seek God about it and if your husband is supposed to resign God will put the pressure on him, and you won't have to.
Love you and praying for you, Deanna
Yes, what Deanna said! I know it's hard, but God has to be telling you both to leave. But leave or stay, you need to be together. I'll be praying for God's direction and strength for BOTH of you.
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
I am not leaving my husband and our church. It is just getting so hard right now to be a ministry family. As you all know, we have lost a lot of families to our church just when we were getting ready to move forward. We lost so many families that we can not build our building. We had placed the down payment, and a lot of them split.
Sometimes, I feel so badly, because my husband has such a heart for God's people and His kingdom. God has given my dh such an enormous vision. It seems that we can not accomplish this. I do not want him(dh) to be so discouraged when he gets leaders trained, they leave. This is hard for me. I guess you all know this by now. But, what do we do when God has given us the vision, but there appears to be very little provision.
We have a strong desire to do ministry and change our city for the better, but we need finances, and people to help. We often get ideas to do things, but no money. Money is very important to complete God's mission. The gov't is not just handing out money to churches. How do we get past this point of feeling God's BIG vision, with little provision?
***Another struggle for us is getting quality people to join the Kingdom work that we endeavor to do. How do we get people, and not just those "church hoppers." I am so tired of church hoppers. I want people who have never been churched or churched in a long time. Those "church hoppers" bother me, b/c a lot of times thay make this a pattern. They do not stay in one church long enough to get anything done.
Never convince or advise anyone to make a life altering decision or it will come back to bite you! You can pray for God's will, talk openly about options but the decision needs to be united from both hearts or the enemy will use it to hurt you! The other party has to have peace in their heart that they have discerned God's will. When it's a married couple, it's best to wait it out through much pray as opposed to forcing one's will onto another.
