It has been a while since I have had a moment of free time where I could share with you lovely ladies... Part of that has been my new job (actually the same job title and pay but a new division) and then the larger part will probably have to be church "drama"... And as with most drama it is not the actual problem but the consistent reenactment of the problem that makes the wounds get infected (kind of like when you keep pulling off the bandaids to look at your sores and then feel compelled to pick at the wound because it looks so bad...)
Lately, God has been challenging my memories.... He has given me a strong prophetic gift and a serious mothering spirit and eyes in the back of my head... I have been able to see some of things going on in the lives of the youth of my church and it has been placing a demand on my willingness to be open.... They are struggling with sexual issues and other personal frustrations and have been as I refer to it "troubling my sleep"... At any rate, because they know that they can tell me anything they have been doing just that... And a lot of what they share I wish they hadn't - well I am glad they trust me to tell me all these things but I wished they were not facing them... God has had me counseling some of my teens on issues of promiscuity, homosexuality, body imaging, piercings and tattoos, and all kinds of other things, and because I have a open heart/closed mouth policy most of what they tell me goes no further than my bedroom (because I make it clear that telling me is telling their pastor and they appreciate knowing that up front).
Now all of this revelation has come in the midst of my drama with what my role will be with the music ministry. We recently hired a minister of music so I instantly gave up two of the four choirs that I played for... For my own heart's sake I tried to give them all up at one time, but my husband resoundedly vetoed that plan... This is dramatic because I know my heart, I love the music ministry, and I love the people that God allowed me to work with and I know that once someone takes "my babies" (Youthful Praise) over that I would be quietly (at least I hope I would be quiet) heartbroken... So ultimately I am watching God close doors while others are gaped wided open. I have wanted God to increase my Youth Ministry but I guess I did not understand that my music ministry was going to be put off through that process. As it currently stands I am only going to keep the Praise teams, and based on how the MofM is responding, I have a feeling she is going to want to take those over before the spring... And the strange thing is that I am not all together happy about this. I guess that goes with that whole be careful for what you ask you might just get it theory...
All this in the midst of my daughter's search to be an adult by making childish decisions...
Flow, we've missed you more than words can say...welcome back.
I understand the struggles you mention. Going through changes like this is always a challenge. I will tell you...it's not forever, perhaps for a season. Also, nothing can change your relationship with these young people. You've got too many "chips" as my husband likes to say...you have acquired so many chips in the game, no one will be able to keep up with you. You have their heart and soul. It doesn't matter whether you are the one directing the choir or not...you are still in their heart and they will still come to you because you are Mama, plain and simple.
Now, let me get this straight...why is it that you are giving up "Youthful Praise"? Is it your idea? I don't understand why you are giving it up. If for some reason it is out of your control and you must...just stay involved with the lives of those kids. Nobody will ever be able to take that away from you. Once the Mama/Sheep bond is there, it's practically indestructible no matter who wants to direct the choir or whatever.
I'll be praying for the situation with your daughter. I have two teenagers in the house. I understand the deal. I know yours is in college, a bit beyond mine...but I understand the challenges. It's harder than anyone thinks...til' you're there.
It sounds like you have alot going on. With a birthday of one of my girls having just passed , we now have three teen girls and nine year old! I feel your pain. I pray he gives you peace and wisdom on what to do next with her and with all of your work you love so much.
God Bless! LW
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
Well to answer your question (Deanna) - the reason that I see that YFP will probably be given up is because on Saturday in our "Music Ministry Staff Meeting" the MofM suggested #1 - that instead of me playing that I become the Worship Leader and let her do all of the playing (Youthful Praise operates more like a choir and they don't require all of that), #2 - that she will pick the music for all of the choirs, #3 - that she wants to see them going in a "new direction"...
Ultimately she is trying to bite off more than she can chew - my church has nine choirs and she is trying to really develop the Mass choir (which makes it 10) and it was never intended for her to have to do all of them, but she seems to want to do this so I can't stop her from trying... Because I have vowed to support her every decision and to be her biggest supporter...
My kids have sworn their loyalty to me and up until this point there are several on their where they never sang for anyone but me, because of the relationship that I have with them... It is important that I tell you that I have not told them about my feelings and I do an excellent masking job I have not even told them that there is a possibility that she will want to take them over, they are responding to the fact that she has taken four choirs from jump street... One of our volunteer musicians stepped down early in the process but so far two of us are still hanging in there...
Ultimately she will want YFP because they are the best of the music groups at our church and the "envy" of all that hear our choirs... I am biased but this is the honest truth... We sing all around town at all kinds of events because they are just that good... And because I am active in the community and they go with me wherever I go, people often call upon us... I tried to explain that to her, but I am not sure that it moved her...
At any rate, I will keep you posted and you keep me uplifted!
Oh Lord have mercy...your husband would not just tell her that the "one thing" you would keep would be YFP? Ughhh. I see your issue. And I can see why you would be heartbroken. Okay, 9 choirs...it would seem she could cough that one up, but I see your point, they are the best choir in the church so obviously she'd want to have them for herself. However she doesn't realize, it won't be the same without your leadership. I don't care who she's taken to WHAT street, we're talking influence, longevity, loyalty and chips here.
Well sis, here's what I would do. If I were you I would place all my creative energies toward something else in the church where you can fly. As much as you don't want to leave the directorship of YFP...you will now have more time to step up to the plate and make something else take off. Basically, I understand you so well Flow because (for one of many reasons) it seems like you and I are the same in that whatever we take over is going to fly, because we are passionate people who put our heart and soul (200%) into everything we do. I mean, I'm convinced I could take over the janitorial work of the church and turn it into a production people would never forget! My dh says I make a production out of EVERYTHING.......... I mean you should see my home videos...some of them could rival broadway shows. (ha ha!) You and I are the same in that wherever we throw our energies...it's going to blossom. So............my advice to you......
You feel like you're in a hole now because you've been displaced from YFP. Okay, so dig a hole a little deeper, and plant yourself in something else and watch it blossom bigger and better than before. I don't care what you take over in that church, I don't care what it is...make it the grandest thing the world has ever seen. Go after it just like you did YFP.
Warning: not only will you have something really cool going on with new doors flying open for you that would have not had you had your 100% energies with YFP, but...I predict in less than a year YFP will be willingly turned back over to you because it will need your leadership if it is to exist. You'll be one heck of a busy lady, and you'll have some choices to make as to where you can expend your energies.
Keep your chin up. You might feel displaced right now, but sometimes being displaced is the best thing that can happen because it propels us to greatness. I have been there, done that. There are examples of this in the bible also, and modern day life. I remember when Jane Pauley was displaced from the morning show she did for a younger more "up to date" model (or so they thought) and not only did it backfire on those who made this decision, but it backfired in a huge way. "The people" rose up and let it be known, things were just not the same. Deborah Norville as nice as she may be, did not last but a few months. Jane Pauley went on to some of the best moments of her career and is widely respected as one of the most influential journalists of our time.
Replant yourself and bloom. You're amazing and whatever your hand touches will flourish.
I too am "misplaced". I spent all that time and money(that I still owe to a fellow Christian) on nursing school, worked 4 months and got hurt. Now, I am unable to work, or help DH financially. It's a hurtful situation. I was very happy as a part time nurse. Now, I have finally let go of it, and re-planted myself. I am writing a book and putting more energy into my ministry. I am sure that whatever ministry you choose to re-plant yourself into will be magnificent as you seem so dedicated to whatever chore our Lord asks you to do. God Bless! LW
__________________
...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
With a birthday of one of my girls having just passed 
, we now have three teen girls and nine year old! 
I feel your pain. 
I pray he gives you peace and wisdom on what to do next with her and with all of your work you love so much.
My dh says I make a production out of EVERYTHING.......... I mean you should see my home videos...some of them could rival broadway shows. (ha ha!) You and I are the same in that wherever we throw our energies...it's going to blossom. So............my advice to you......
