Last night I was having a meeting with one of my leaders. We were discussing things and she suggested I send out a survey. I have heard mixed thoughts on this. Some leaders do surveys and love them - others say it just creates a possible venue for people to gripe or criticize. I have heard some leaders say, "Jesus never took a survey"..."Moses never took a survey..." etc.
I am not against doing this I am just wondering (taking a "survey" of your thoughts! ) as to whether you do this in your ministry and find it profitable.
One thing I did many years ago on a ministry team I led was to invite my team to write a letter to me, telling me anything they wanted to say. BIG MISTAKE. I'll never do that again. With 80% or so of the people it was a good idea. However, two of them completely blasted me and said everything they ever wanted to say (negative) but never felt they had the invitation to do so (and yeah, I guess I did give them the invite...)
So I'm wondering whether this would be a good tool or not to use to get a pulse on what people are interested in within a certain ministry or what they would like us to focus on, but I do not want to create a place for negativity.
We did surveys at our last church and for the most part it was futile.... The point that we made was that we tried to get your input but you didn't give any, so hold your peace... Of course you will get the negative responses because some people are looking for an opportunity to say what they think will aggravate you...
I have led two survey teams, and have donw "interviews" for a church that I was youth pastoring at. Needless to say, only about 2% of the people did the survey and most of it was complaining. The interviews on the other hand were a little better because of the wording of the questions, but all in all the SP said it was just a waste of time.
My dh does opt for the survey thing because of all the above reasons mentioned... the same reason there's no suggestion box in the lobby. Nevertheless, you don't have to do an essay type...perhaps just a deliberately designed one with boxes to check. I've had success in small groups with this. And of course the Sunday AM people have received surveys to fill out guickly regarding using their gifts in areas of the local church or if such/such were offered would you participate?
Okay, well here we go, I guess I'll just tell you my whole situation and you can judge for yourself so it will be easier to advise me that way.
It's concerning women's ministries. We have had a very successful WM's here the past 5 years, going on our 6th year. Our two large events of the year are the Princess Luncheon and the Christmas Extravaganza. Both are events that take a tremendous amount of work. In addition to all the other events of the year (retreats, conferences, special one night events, and social things) we do these and we have had quite a number get saved at these events.
Before I say this, please take it in the right spirit intended. I shouldn't have to put this disclaimer, we are all pastors or pw's here and this is probably understood nevertheless I feel compelled to ask you to please understand my heart. What has basically taken place is being taken for granted, and a spirit of complacency.. Complacency because they are used to a certain standard and they think "the show will go on" so to speak no matter if they help or not - because they know my work ethic and how I do things.
At my previous church, I made a mistake although some of you might not think it was, I now see it in hindsight that it was. The issue was, I never, ever missed anything and was basically there for the people faithfully 24/7, no matter how much they let me down. I was there to save the day at every turn. We put on huge outreaches and even if I had a skeleton crew, I would work a zillion hours and pull the thing off and do it up big. Whether people helped, whether they didn't - the program/ministry was never affected by it. I always worked myself to the bone and got it done whether other people let me or the team down. After years went by, the ladies got used to having this big bang every year and many had the attitude, "well, I don't have time to help this year but no biggie...it'll just be there next year if I want to get involved..." Many got lazy in serving. They really truly always knew in the back of their minds, "PD will do whatever it takes to do this and provide it for us, and for our friends."
The ladies love to ATTEND these things because who wouldn't want to come to an elegant luncheon or tea, with the place completely decked out and be treated like a queen for the day? All at someone else's expense and service? It's one thing to attend, another to serve. My dh says they were spoiled, basically. Whether they helped or not, I did what it took to provide all this, even if I had to do it shorthanded at times.
Many times just like our "natural kids" take us for granted (think about it - do our kids thank us every time a meal is on the table? No, they just think, "mom's there, she'll do it..." and go on their merry way.) So basically the church people really did not see any of this until I was gone. And now, honest to God, not a month goes by that I don't get a letter, or e-mail from somebody saying, "we never realized what we had when you were here..." and "those were the years..." and "it'll never be the same..." and "if only I would have known, I would have helped more...I miss all of what we did back then so much..."
I have a "balcony" board in my office that is basically a board of cards, letters and e-mails that people send me (from all over) that are uplifting and that board has so many that I continue to tack on from my previous church. When we moved here my dh said, "don't let them get too spoiled." Back in my previous church I never went away to preach and missed a service there. My dh now realizes that was a mistake. He says now, "I should have given my blessing for you to go now and then and miss and let them see what it would have been like with you not there, and maybe then they would have been more appreciative and not taken your leadership and the things you provided for granted." (That's one of the reasons he blesses me and releases me more to go here because of that very reason.) I wish now that I would have taken off a year or two from having those outreaches to let the women see when I was there that it was not a given that these things would happen without their help.
So I am beginning to sense happening here what happened there. There are quite a number of ladies who have gotten lethargic where our two outreaches are concerned. After five years they are used to it. There is still a great response with other things that we do throughout the year. It isn't a total lack of interest in WM's. This past Sunday night we had a women's night and it was just a covered dish dinner and I preached. We had a great attendance - the majority of them were there. However keep in mind that 90% of everything was set up for them and they did not have to do anything but bring a dish, walk in and experience the evening and go home. There was no real work involved. My women's leadership team (6 of us) did all the behind the scenes work. Realize, in the two major outreaches, it takes ALL of our women working together to pull it off, not just the leadership team. In the beginning they were more enthusiastic. But now they have become rather lazy, and like I said - take for granted that the executive team and I will do it all. (And really, they are right up to this point - whatever they don't do, we make up for.) This past outreach in December things were very hard on our hostess coordinator (who does an excellent job) but she found it difficult to get enough ladies to help her. They just assumed someone else would do it.
So lately I've thought, "I'm tired of this. I want to shock them into reality..."
And my way of doing that was to just say we are not having the two events this year. We would still have everything else but cancel those two events. They know what a big deal this has been to me and the church, how successful it has been, and they love attending and bringing their friends. If I suddenly took it away and shocked them by letting them know the two events are not simply "a given" and are cancelled for this year I think it will do one of two things:
1) Shock them into reality. It won't always "be there." They need to appreciate the fact that they have a church that does these kinds of things, and leaders who have a vision for things like this, and they need to get involved
or...
2) They won't give a hoot that it was cancelled - I won't hear much about it. They will not be sorry about it, and this will only further solidify to me that I should have cancelled it. If they don't care about it and no one mentions it, it was definitely right to just leave it off the calendar and never let them have it again, thereby sparing myself and my team of a whole lot of work and letting me go on to the many other things vieing for my attention.
The leader on my exec team that I spoke with the other night, however, thinks before I make that decision I should put out a survey and ask them.
I do not want to give opportunity for negative criticism (although i do not anticipate it from anyone but two people, quite honestly I do not want to give them any voice in the matter however to be fair I would have to sent the survey to all and not skip those two). 98% of my ladies are not negative, some are just a little lazy right now regarding this...
I did think, Twoasone, about your suggestion and just doing a "check the box" survey with nothing else included such as:
1) Do you want to see the Princess Luncheon happen this year? Check yes or no.
2) Do you want the Christmas Extravaganza to happen this year? Check yes or no.
3) Are you going to help with these events this year in order to see them happen? Check yes or no.
Now that you know the whole situation, what do you think?
I guess my point in all this is that sometimes our people need to realize that while we don't expect to be worshipped (that is for God and God alone), we do not expect to be taken for granted and for the body to get lazy and just act like they can be lethargic and we will work ourselves to the bone to make up for their complacency.
My husband does lament and say, "what about the people who might have gotten saved at the event you cancel?" I understand that, but at the same time, what am I to do? Stay on this merry go round of lethargy for the next bazillion years?
I think the check box idea is a great one. At the last church where my husband was on staff the WM leaders which included our pastor's wife and a few others were always in the same predicament as you all. I happened to suggest one time to ask in advance who wanted the event to happen and if they were willing to help and how. It wasn't a big survey thing but it worked. For some reason the idea (whether actually suggested or not) that the event would not take place unless we had volunteers to help mad ea difference. Hopefully it will for you too. I think if you do the check box survey to add an area for the women to share how they might like to help. A question added to your third question could be:
If you plan to help, how and where would you feel most comfortable in helping, to make these events take place.
I completely agree with you that to bring on even a small avenue to negativity will defeat the whole purpose of the survey. But if you are unsure of which way to go possibly a survey could help give you the clarity of mind that you need when it comes to these two special events. Just my thoughts, melissa
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
PD - Have you done the check box? Perhaps on the third question you could give a list of pertinent areas that need covered and they could check the specific categories they are willing to do. We do our auction at school like this. Nevertheless, it always seems that the majority of it still falls on the same few workers. . .
Lastly, a good thing is that these activities originated from you. At our church, the Secret Sisters has been a tradition many years (before us). It has been such a chore (i.e. people not following through, hurt feelings, etc.). Therefore, one year I naively decided that we would just "take a break" (i.e. reflective time-out of sorts perhaps they would appreciate it more). As the leader, I just announced my decision at the women's Christmas party. There was such a backlash! People asked me why we didn't take a vote - dh doesn't do that often either- without much prayer and fasting. He doesn't like polls or survey because of the reasons mentioned on this board. I felt somewhat "crucified" over SS but stuck with my decision that one year. We still have the same problems and it's hard to get volunteers to head it up. Therefore, now it's stated that if there's no one to head it up - we'll "take a break" a year. We keep getting new volunteers but it's the same old problem: comparison traps on gifts and some dead - beat participators. Since your two big events originated from you, I believe you'll be okay either way. Sometimes things are for a season. Continue praying, I believe God will give you peace on how to proceed. I understand the familiarity thing. "Visiting ministers, musicians, or parishioners will come and they are in awe of the classiness of the ways we do events. And it's the best it's ever been done here. Nevertheless, what you described PD is how it can be! It's sad but it's the way it is. Those people are BLESSED to have you and Larry!
I definitely feel you on this one PD. I have also been guilty of working myself nearly to death while most of the ladies just come and enjoy. I am sick of it too. I decided that this year will not be like that. I began on the last Sunday of 2007 talking to my ladies about commitment to see the vision come to pass. I bascially set the expectation that some need to grow up to make room for the new babies as they come in, because I believe that they are coming. It's just like in a natural family, as the children get older, they take on chores and household responsibilities. My kids need to keep their room clean and help with dishes, etc. I think that the same should be in the God's house. We need to serve as part of our comittment to the family.
I am not sure how effective this has been. However, I did see a spark with some people who never thought about it that way. They were just focused on themselves and something finally clicked.
Anyway, I guess I have rambled enough. I like the idea of a short and to the point survey. No room for comments, a.k.a. negativity. I also like the suggestion about a question to ask specifically how they can be of service to make this event happen.
) as to whether you do this in your ministry and find it profitable.
Since your two big events originated from you, I believe you'll be okay either way. Sometimes things are for a season. Continue praying, I believe God will give you peace on how to proceed. I understand the familiarity thing. "Visiting ministers, musicians, or parishioners will come and they are in awe of the classiness of the ways we do events. And it's the best it's ever been done here. Nevertheless, what you described PD is how it can be!
