I am grieved today because of ministry marriages that are falling apart...
After watching the interviews done by Juanita Bynum and watching Bishop Weeks responses, and hearing of Paula and Randy White's impending divorce, which is a little different than Mary Winkler's choice for how to get out of the marriage - I wonder do the people have any idea how hard it is to be fully committed to ministry and marriage at the same time... Do they realize that the more "power" you gain in the kingdom and the more energy you put out and more hours you put in to your ministry the less time you devote to family and friends...
I have listened to both Prophetess Bynum and Bishop Weeks describe their marriages and my mind goes back two years to when she was ministering in one of the marriage ministry seminars they did before they became estranged last year and she talked about how she had to rebuke the devil because she was determined to cook for her husband - because she had not done so at that point in the entire three years of marriage... She talked about how she did not cook, clean, make beds or anything like that because she has had a housekeeper for 12 years... She said all she does is prophesy - I wonder how many people that applauded for her in that message and during that point in her message realized that this is not a good thing to brag about... Or maybe it is me... That to me signaled trouble in the marriage - she made the statement that he was so glad to see her cooking that he wanted to take a picture (did I mention that all she made was a tuna fish sandwich???) and she said that she told him that you just want to see me look submitted - you love seeing the powerful woman of God being broken under your powers... WHAT?!
And I just see it all over - I am saddened by Paula and Randy White's announcement... Granted in all these things saddened not surprised. There is just so much to distract you while doing ministry and sometimes what we call ministry is business... We must be careful that we do not allow things to get so second nature to us that we are no longer operating in a fresh wind a fresh anointing, but riding the coattails of a fire that blew out a long time ago but we are so used to being warmed by that we have not noticed the chill in the air...
So ladies I say to you, if you are in a situation where you feel depressed, dejected and want to throw it all in, come to us for refreshing... We want to be there for you, it is our mission it is our mandate!
I am grieved as well, Flow. While it bothers me that this happened to these people, the thing that bothers me more is how it affects people like us. Those of us here on this board and I would dare say 95% of ministers out there are not living like these people were living. Yet we all pay the price for what happens.
I believe there are a lot of compromises that have been made by these individuals and they begin living in a fantasy world (definitely not the real "reality" of ministry). How many of us are walking around with most of our face having plastic surgery, breast implants (I don't need them, thank you very much...!!), a corporate jet, body guards, etc. Lets be real, this is not the real world of ministry. And I think these individuals begin to get a totally different mindset from when they started out. It isn't about ministering to the people anymore...it's about how much they can get in their latest "atonement" offering. (Check out the latest PW website...it really sickens me that anybody would be asking people to send money to atone for their sins...)
So this stuff happens and then who pays the price for it? We ministers who are out there doing the true work of the ministry - helping God's people.
We have several people who have recently come to our church having left WWIC after the divorce was announced. I don't go "yippee" that this has happened, believe me. The sad thing is, when you begin to pastor these people they are very untrusting...they are looking around every corner for anything because they are scared..."is this going to happen again." Yes I know we need to prove ourselves trustworthy to them and it takes time however, isn't it sad that we have to go through this?
When will people realize, the ministry is not about pink hair, gold throne chairs, breast implants, yada yada yada. None of us are too high and mighty to make a tuna sandwich, or a whole dinner for that matter - or to vacuum the floor. And when we think we are - LOOK OUT because we are on the edge of disaster. Pride goeth before a fall.
I hope soon. Don't get me wrong, I feel saddened by what has happened to Juanita, Paula and their spouses. However I feel more sorry for the ministers all over the world that now will have to bear the brunt of it by people having a hard time trusting.
My heart is saddened as I read this post, how often have my darling hubby and I visited people that we know and dont see in any church circles, to hear no we are submitted to Paula White Ministries or Joyce Meyer etc and to have words spoken of why cant the preachers in our churches preach like them.... it just makes me wonder. We really need to protect our marriages at all costs... that is our first place of ministry is it not? or have I lost the plot.
I am grieved by thiswhole phenomenon as well.My mother (who is also a PW) and I were just having a conversation about this last week.I think that sometimes these ministers get caught up in celebrity and forget about the call. First the call to follow Jesus with our whole hearts and to walk in His will. Second, the call to minister to their spouse, and then children. Third, to save souls, and equip the saints for the work of the ministry.
I have been blessed in the past by the ministry of the women that we have spoken of, but I am a bit perplexed. Flow its not just you. I dont understand how someone can be so spiritual that they always have a word for the nations, yet they cannot hear God as it relates to their marriage and family. I just believe that if God can use me to heal others, than he can bring healing to my marriage and my family. I think that nearly all of us on this board have experienced times when we wanted to tell dh, Im sorry, but this isnt working out the way that I thought it would. We have all experienced challenging times in our homes, however, I think that many of you, as have I, had to pray our way through and ask God to help us line up with His will for us. In doing this, I have found healing, blessing, and fulfillment.I have also found that I love dh more now than ever. I have a made up mind that as Flow so appropriately titled this post, we are in this thing until death do us part.
I pray that as God continues to bless dh and I in our ministry to others, that we wont ever get to a place where we neglect our ministry to Him, each other, and our family.
Marriage is not just a commitment, but a covenant. Like Ruth said to her mother in law, "Where you go, I will go, where you live, I will live, your people will be my people, and your God will be my God." This is the same type of covenant God made with Moses. Our enemies is God's enemies, our hurts are God's hurts, His wealth and inheritance is ours as well because of the Covenant of Christ, as well as being Children of the King! All this said is to point out that marriage is an example to others of God's love for us. We are walking and living examples of Christ to those of whom we pastor. Many times people in our congregations place us on a pedestal, we are perfect, and make no mistakes. Yet, we do all the time, but the difference is that we are to live above reproach, with a humble attitude, and accountability to our husbands and "armor bearers".
I love what Evangelist Billy Graham did...he would not ride in a car or in an elevator with someone of the opposite sex. Yes, he was made fun of, but in one of his books he replies to this very thing saying, "I would rather live above reproach and be made fun of, and just not go there". There meaning temptation, rumors, etc. My hubby and I agreed before we got married that we would not ride alone, be alone in the same room, counsel, etc. with people of the opposite sex. This commitment has been challenged by the enemy, yet we have always found a way to stay true to it! Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes! God gave my husband to me as a gift, why would I not treat him as such??
I've really been thinking about this post for a while. This whole situation saddens me. I keep thinking back to a workshop @ Unstoppable w/ Jenn Lee. She was talking w/ the ladies in the room just prior to the workshop starting. She asked us to name "role models" or I guess well-known (famous if you will) ladies in ministry. (This was hard for me b/c I very rarely watch ministers on television & TBN's just not for me, but I digress.) Anyway, the ladies came up with 6 names of well-known ladies in ministry. 6. And the sad part is that 2 of the 6 were Paula White & Juanita Bynum. What does that say?
I'm thankful that you ladies are role models for me. I've started reading your blogs & they have ministered to me. (In my spare time, I need to learn how to blog, how to respond to your blogs, etc.)
God has really put a desire in my heart to minister to local pastors' wives. I'm not sure how yet. The couple that we considered "our pastors" recently separated. She couldn't take the ministry any more. I think they're trying to work things out. Please continue to pray for them.
I feel sad to hear of situations as such. I came into the Body of Christ at 19 in the 80's when two AG scandals broke out. One thing I distinctly recall was one high profile minister slamming the other and even said he was a "cancer" to the Body of Christ. It was only a little while longer that he was revealed as unethical too! In these situations, we must be careful what we say. Nevertheless, during both those high profile scandels I still grew in the Lord (though disappointed and broken-hearted by JS Ministries). It was then that dh and I discerned the call to ministry for us and had just made the decision not to go to JS Bible college but move to Lakeland and attend Bible school there. I think the greatest thing we did was keep our eyes on Jesus and enjoy his servants but not put them on pedestals. It kept us from not falling away in despair because only Jesus will never let us down.
I think we can just focus on what is right and God's word without trashing others. People who want to be led by the spirit of God's truth, will be. There was a situation here with a big AG church highly respected by the district. The wife (high profile in AG) divorced her husband. She was ill and tired from the ministry. Nevertheless, there were some people who would not give up! They kept praying for their pastors! Some people left their 1,000 member church and gave up but for 4 years others stayed faithful to that church and the SP. The SP was very dicreet with what he said publicly re: hiswife's decisions. In fact, to this day, we on the outside do not know what was the real issue. Nevertheless, they have remarried now and our community for the most part is rejoicing!!!! Hebrews 13 tells us that marriage is to be held in honor among all. So few do this, even ministers! We can't lose heart looking at people! Let's just stand up for God's word and pray for those people. I do agree discipline is in order and leaders finding themselves in these situations need to humble themselves and sit under authorities. But I also choose to judge not lest we be judged. We really don't know all that is going on and do see through a glass dimly. Satan comes against high profile ministries because he knows he'll get many others too. Word Picture: In the bowling alley one aims for the front pin to get all the ones behind it knocked down. We need to all realize this and live wise and humble lives. Be careful.
Two As One... that was SO well said! I could not agree more! What a powerful testimony that not only does God hate divorce but He is BIGGER than divorce too!
When I was about 14 or 15, my Youth Pastor's wife told me one day... "I don't always like (insert dh's name) but I always love dh." That along with someone else telling me "Engagement is just the last chance to get out of it." Stuck with me to this day. So much so, that my DH and I have a joke, "Darling I am Committed to you right now..." usually said with clinched teeth. That means, "I don't like you right now, I don't feel love for you, you could dissappear for a few hours, even days and I wouldn't mind... But, I am committed to you. I am not going anywhere." So if you ever happen to be around me and hear me say that, you know we are having a KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT!!!! LOL, but we'll get over it. We have for 15 years now.
We have for 15 years now.
