Trace, Pastor Deanna and Pastor Tara it was so nice to see you at UNSTOPPABLE. Deanna the name is so appropriate! I believe everyone left there empowered and encouraged! I so enjoyed being a part of it. For years, I didn't know any PW's like me! Ones who felt called also and co-pastor with their mate in an equal partnership. People recognized this quality in us and connected me to Deanna: #1 My deacon forwarded her website to me in 2003. I emailed but it was lost in her "fan mail" LOL. #2 Then a mutual friend said: You've got to meet my new friend. She's so much like you and you and your dh remind me of how she and her dh do things (i.e. regarding pastoring, CBE and calling me "pastor" too). Therefore, I had to contact her again one more time and I'm glad a friendship sparked up. Anyway, you ladies who didn't make it....please do the next time! You are in for a treat! It really is a place of ministry to the minister. I witnessed people's heaviness lift! They were refreshed! Plus, it was neat to put a face with names on the board. Although, I may change my alias again! Just in case of sensitive things. I love you all! Remember: In Christ, and with a network like this you're unstoppable! Love, SP co-pastor
Man, I wish I could have been there!! Next year...
On the bright side, my PW is bringing me and YP's wife to our district's Women in Ministry/Pastors' Wives conference this coming weekend, so I will get the benefit of a conference of that nature. Still, it would have been nice to have met a lot of you in person.
Honestly, I'm not "rubbing it in" to those of you who missed it- but it was truly one of the best events and things I did for ME in years! Meeting everyone was so neat!
I'm still "processing" the entire weekend and I hope to blog about some of it soon- but ladies- start making plans NOW- don't miss next year!!!
AMAZING!! In one word, Pastor D, the conference was AMAZING!!! I could also add LIFE-CHANGING! WOW!
It was also my pleasure to meet you Twoasone, Pastor Tara, & Pastor Deanna. (Tara, I can now pronounce your name correctly. ) You ladies are so beautiful, inside & out, and such an inspiration to me. I guess I've had insecurities from day one about being a pw (and perhaps one day - can I bring myself to say it? - copastor). I never felt I quite looked the part - glamorous & all. I'm also self conscious that I look younger than I am. (I know, I know it's great when you don't look your age, but sometimes I feel churchfolk don't take me seriously b/c I look so young.) But, I left the conference feeling empowered.
And Deanna, your words about not judging others b/c you don't know where they walked or where they are walking really hit home. Not because I think less of others but b/c I tend to think less of myself (i.e. not "looking" the part of the pw.) Thank you also for sharing your testimony about your hardships. It was so encouraging. What a message!
Ok, it's taken all day to write this. First Lady posted somewhere else wanting to know all about the conference. So, I'll give some hightlights.
First, the praise & worship was INCREDIBLE!! Not to mention the fact that it was the first time in 3 years that I was able to actually worship without constantly worrying about what my little ones were getting in to. That was a reward in & of itself.
The speakers were all great. The only down side for me was having to choose which workshops to attend. We're constantly dealing w/ conflict & I strive to maintain a balanced life, so those are the workshops I attended. The one comment that Jenn Lee made about balancing ministry & family life that stood out was: "You don't have to be balanced - and probably never will be - but you do need to know how to juggle." That was so freeing. I'm striving for an unattainable goal. I just need to practice my juggling act. And I can't wait to listen to the other workshops via CD. And Pastor Jenn's testimony... so very moving.
And personally? God did so much for me personally during the conference. He loved me. He empowered me. He encouraged me. He healed my broken heart. He restored my passion for ministry. He spoke to me. He corrected me. He answered my questions. And He used an incredible group of women to do it. Deanna, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm already looking forward to next year & hope to meet many more of you ladies.
Honestly, I think this was seriously the next major highlight in my life next to getting married. Or getting saved of course!
I'm not rubbing it in either, truly I'm not. I just want to say that my heart breaks for anybody who has to miss it (this year or next) because it's so encouraging and people were truly changed, healed, restored, renewed. I want that for EVERYBODY.
I believe next year we're going to double! Everybody's that went is talking about it. I have all the "feedback forms" in the office and we didn't get any complaints. Everybody said it was off the charts, incredible!
I was praying for the event as well. I wanted to attend so badly, but I could not because I had to attend an anniversary service for my parents in Ohio. I am so glad that it was an awesome time. Hopefully I will see you there next year!
I would like to respond to Trace. I want you to know that we will never look like what people think we should look like because opinions are like noses: everyone has one and there's usually a couple of holes in them! I have had women refuse to come to my Sunday school classes because they didn't want their husband looking at me for 45 minutes. Women size me up and peg me the wrong way later to apologize because the Lord convicted them and showed them the true inner beauty of my heart. I go to extra measures to be sure cleavage isn't showing or I am dressed conservative when speaking in mixed company. Yet, for some, it's still not enough. Recently a husband of one of my armorbearers confided in me how jealous she is if he talks to me. I was so SHOCKED and she is such a spiritual person, I never suspected her feeling that way. Women really do often have a lot of insecurities/jealousy. I try so hard to put people at ease but still these things come up over outward appearances.
I shop at thrift/consignment shops. Buy only clearanced accessories...etc etc Yet, people are still intimidated by me. So, do the best with what God has given you. One thing that really helped me years ago was Color Me Beautiful. They tell you the best colors to wear. I only buy my colors. I've always liked make-up and doing hair...some say I should have been a beautician. I'm a decorator and I decorate myself (smile;) Good advice I got at 19 yrs. old when I got saved was : as long as your outward beauty doesn't outshine your inward beauty and the Character of Christ,we are doing okay. We are to use everything about us for God's glory! Beauty is fading! I've found that out in my 40's. Therefore, there better be a lot more to us that physical appearance! Amen! There are some basics that we can do to look more professional and it will help people take us serious.
In regards to our words, we can learn ways to be more persuasive. Being too Giddy sometimes is a hinderance, especially with men or people with a lot of pride. UNSTOPPABLE is an iron- sharpens iron event. We can learn from eachother, support and affirm eachother! And ultimately our validation comes from the Lord! He will surround us with people who will hold us up in the place He has for us! Ustoppable is part of that! Love you, sister.
Tara, you seemed so uplifted by the end and "happy" again. I am so proud of you being a mother of five yet, taking time away for YOU. I never did that! I was the last on my list and my needs were the least priority when my kids were small! But it affected my health, my weight, and eventually my contentment! So ... you go girl! Take care of yourself too. It's very important. (hindsight) I am hosting a sectional meeting at our church in Oct. I am handing out the postcards and speaking a few minutes to the pastors. I want to appeal to them to send their wives! Pray for favor.
Trace, I couldn't agree with Twoasone more...she's so right.
We have to just find who "we" are and not rely on how other people view us because they can base it on the dumbest things.
One woman in a church we pastored said she had a hard time accepting me at first because I had the same hair color as a woman her husband had an affair with. Give me a break. What does that have to do with me? NOTHING.
Find who you are...what your style is, and what makes you feel most confident. Then just be yourself. It's not about a certain "look".
I am personally friends with Twoasone, not just through the Unstoppable Conference but for quite some time before that and we know each other "in person" and she's a true person of beauty and style - I can vouch for that...but the thing is, in my opinion her personality is the least intimidating, difficult or unfriendly as you can get. She is very approachable, friendly and discreet. Yet some have a problem with her because of her looks. Just as people treat you one way because you look so young, they treat her another way because of her looks. But she can't help that. Anybody who has a problem with her, truly IS just jealous of looks, and she's right, you just have to let it go. The thing is to work with what God has given you -- and I think looking young is a great bonus! (Wish I had that problem! I'm starting to really not like this wrinkle thing in the middle of my forehead...ugh!) Yet I know I just need to be myself...
Love you and I'm so glad we got to meet face to face. Can't wait until next time! To say it was awesome to be together in the same place...WOW, indescribable!
Thanks Twoasone & Deanna for your encouragement. I have felt insecurities about my youthful appearance for years & years, both in my career & ministry. My first job after graduating from college was a counselor @ a mental health clinic. I literally looked 15 & on a good day 18. Though I was primarily a children's counselor, there were times that I did adult intakes. Some of the intake questions related to the client's sex life. Not only was the subject matter uncomfortable, but the client's thought they were discussing their sex life w/ a teeny bopper. That was the start of my professional career in the social service area & even today I have to continually prove myself to people. Even Donna (who came with me to Unstoppable) thought I was about 26 until this weekend & we have worked in the same organization for about a year.
And as far as the ministry goes, I can't tell you how many times I've heard "you don't look like a pastor's wife." And yes, that just adds to all of my insecurities.
I've quoted the verse for years when Paul told Timothy "don't let anyone look down on you b/c you are young." I'm going to post somewhere "don't let anyone look down on you b/c you look young."
Two & D, I'm gonna take your words to heart. Any practical advice on how to work with what God has given me? Remember I'm also of mom of 3 kids (10, 5, & 3) & I don't have a lot of time to get ready in the mornings. I need something easy. I do need to get my hair cut & styled. I've worn my hair similar to yours Deanna, shorter & flipped in the back. I'm not a huge make-up person. Base, blush, powder & lipstick is about all I do. (And I know this sounds soooo vain, but I've thought that the mental picture you ladies will have of me is of a big ugly fever blister on my lip.) I do try to dress professional & I'm so w/ you Two on shopping at thrift stores & clearance racks.
Love you ladies. God has definitely given me a great gift when He brought you into my life. Thank you for everything. Oh, by the way, I'll be 36 next month.
There's something different about this message board , therefore, I don't know if Trace will find this. Nevertheless, hindsight too....when we came to SP here, I was 30 and dh was 32. God opened this door for us and gave us a pretty healthy church (but run down grounds). It was pretty amazing! We didn't "know the right people" politically or have connections to get the right church. Nevertheless,God opened the door and we replaced an older pastor. Because of our biblical standards of conduct, words of wisdom, and morals.... the senior saints are our greatest support! They say they like us because we're old fasioned! We just believe Bible standards are relevant today in entertainment choices, morals, dress code, etc.
Now, we've been here 12 1/2 years. Dh used to complain about looking too young and baby-faced. Now, he is concerned about getting old and looking it!Our youthfulness only lasts so long --- EMBRACE YOURS and ENJOY yours! Yet be an example in words and deeds. Bro Raburn told us that we have wisdom beyond our years (when we were young). Therefore, it really is more than just outward appearance because he recognized God with us even in our early years! Sometimes , the poise in which we carry ourselves speaks LOUDER than our young appearance. Amen. Youth is a gift. Cherish it. Age is an Art! Think about it.
Ps... what does your dh think? Mine is a very modest and humble person but he LOVES the quality of foo-foo about me. He's a make-up kind of guy. Yet, my best friend here wears no make-up, dresses plainly, and has never had a short haircut. Her husband loves her like that. My husband would not. Now that mid-life is here, I really see a change in my dh if I gain weight. You are blessed there too! That makes you look younger. Sometimes it's hard when I have a Thyroid problem that made me gain weight yet I can see that dh doesn't feel as attracted to me. But I try to keep in mind how he might feel (afterall, he married a size 3, 104 lbs women with 34 D breasts:) Now....I am 140+ lbs. My weight got as high as my pregnancies at one time (170). When I lost the weight...I woke the sleeping giant! My dh was all over me! So what your dh thinks is a real componet in the equation.
I can truly say that if my husband's opinion is what counts, then I am almost perfect physically. I can't remember a time that he has ever criticized my physical appearace verbally or otherwise. He constantly tells me how beautiful I am. And when I have time to really get "dressed up," he definitely tells me. Lightbulb moment: I am definitely blessed. Thanks for helping me put things into perspective.
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