Okay ladies, please tell me if you have noted this in your ministry.
I have noticed that most times people you do more for assume you do the least and people you feel you have barely touched think you have done the world for them.
I realized this more than ever on this last month's pastor appreciation month. Tell me if this sounds familiar to you...
We have a family who we will call the Whinesteins (like that?), while we are not super close to them, we have reached out to them by having them in our home twice for dinner (once just their family, another time with a larger group of people), and, we have gone out to eat with them after church to my recollection probably once. Other than that, they just receive ministry that your average person in our church receives -- prayer at the altar, hugs & handshakes at the door, ministry in emergency situations such as a funeral, etc. Okay, so this is our ministry to the Whinesteins, and in a church our size (mid size) OBVIOUSLY the pastor does not even many times get to have every single person in their home (and we try hard, believe me), nor do they have time to even go out or "hob knob" as I call it with every church family. But the Whinesteins believe "we haven't reached out to them...haven't made any effort." Complaints is pretty much all anybody in our church hears from them especially the wife. Okay, let's move on.
Our church didn't just have pastor appreciation day, they had a whole month of blessing. It was wonderful. I couldn't even contain here on this board everything that they did, because there's just so much to report! Suffice it to say, they really love us a lot, and they show it!!! I noticed something very interesting indeed...
We got piles of cards, and of course many were from leadership families and such who we do a bulk of things with, and many people in the church who we have socialized with, etc. And they all thanked us. But I was struck by the number of people who wrote us cards or letters, who we have NEVER had the chance yet to have in our home, NEVER ONCE had the chance yet (due to time) to go out for ice cream after service, NEVER ONCE had the chance to have a real private conversation, NEVER ONCE had any personal contact beyond just the average pastoral stuff...a touch at the altar, a greeting at the door, a welcome phone call from our staff...nothing beyond. YET...these people are among those who write glowing letters (one man wrote a 7 page single spaced typed letter, in fact) saying, 'YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW YOU CHANGED MY LIFE, SO I'M WRITING TO TELL YOU!!!"
Time and again, people or families who we have not really done anything "extra" for extravagantly thank us and gush over how we are the greatest pastors they have ever known, while "the Whinesteins" are of the opinion, we are the least caring pastors in the world! It seems like those who should be the most grateful are not, sometimes. And, we as pastors do not realize how many lives we touch that we do not even realize!!!
With all that said, I have to just PRAISE GOD that the Whinesteins are radically outnumbered in our church and in fact, they are THE ONLY family I know that carries this attitude. And that in itself is amazing because most churches have at least a small pack of Whinesteins.
And I guess that brings me to myself being grateful. I'm so grateful that it's so small of an issue in our church. I am so blessed.
But I am just wondering...does this same thing happen to you? Do you get glowing reports that shock you, and criticism that is this non-sensical from someone like the Whinesteins?
This is SO true! Just yesterday at church there was a lady who came up to me crying and thanking me for PROFOUNDLY affecting her life last spring at one of the Bible studies that I teach. I was sitting there racking my brain trying to figure out what in the world I did and she proceeded to tell me that the words I said in prayer for her really impacted her walk with God. Ladies, for the life of me, I could not remember what I had prayed last spring! :o) And yet, whatever the Lord inspired me to pray had this lady moved months later. I haven't had much contact with her since that study, and yet she was grateful for the 'exchange' we did have. WOW!
Then, there are those who complain because my child did not attend their child's birthday party and they wonder if we care for their family at all. It really angers me when my children get put on the spot or their actions judged as to our pastoral care for people. We cannot possibly attend every party and I don't expect my kids to be best friends with everyone in their Sunday School class! Ooohhh, this makes me mad!
Anyway...maybe someone should write a book on the 'five love langauges of a congregation!!" just kidding. some people are never satisfied anway. I am grateful for those who let us know how much we bless them and our family too was showered with blessings & extra attention during pastor appreciation month. It's wonderful! Makes up for the 'Whiners!"
