Hi, ladies! I'm interested in how you would handle this situation:
DH and I received an invitation to a wedding for a couple from the church we used to minister in. We are going to be in the area on the day of their wedding (completely unplanned)! It would be a perfect way for us to see all of our old friends at once, because I'm sure they'll all be there.
BUT...so will a lot of the people who gave us trouble. We're not intimidated by these people; however (on the opposite end of the spectrum!), DH is afraid that he would say something he might regret later, now that we no longer work there and we no longer have to play nice. I think he'd be fine - I'm a lot more "confrontational" than he is, and I feel like I'd be able to just bite my tongue and ignore them. I'm so over that place, and love my new church (my first functional church EVER, and that includes the one I grew up in, lol!), and I think that our best "revenge" is our success in our new church and community.
My mom said, "Don't let stupid people keep you from doing something you want to do." I agree.
After all the hemming and hawing, the decision was pretty much made for us: It turns out that my dad is only available to get together THAT DAY because of his work schedule, so family obligations kind of overrule friend obligations in this case. So we're not going - I wrote them a little note in our reply card saying that we're unable to make it, but that we'll be praying for them and we love them - and we'll probably send them a gift card to Target or wherever they registered.
But, I'm interested in what you all would do in this situation: Would you go, knowing very well that you'd run into people who hate your guts, or just opt to stay back and wish the couple well from a distance?
As I said, I'm unable to go anyway, so I'm more or less just throwing this out for discussion...on the other hand, this is probably not going to be the only time we'll have to deal with this situation, and I'm interested in how others have handled this!
Wow, that is a difficult one. I would decide completely based upon mine and dh's feelings, period. You no longer owe those people or church anything. However, you should do what YOU want to do. As the former pastor is no longer there (you said he's not, right?) then it's not like you have to deal with contacting him or anything...there is no one on staff left there as your best friend is gone as well...so going back to see these people is not an issue as far as the church or stuff...it's just...how do you feel, personally?
I know you're not going however, should you have been able to...my feeling is, it should be completely based on whether you and dh feel there are more pros to you going, or cons. would you feel better or worse for having accepted the invite?
When you were there on staff you had to think about their feelings more - but now you are no longer one of their pastors, so you can think of yourself for once and...
doesn't that feel good?
Don't put yourself through any stress you don't need. You were delivered of that place, thank God. If it pains you to see those people, stay in your wonderful, new, safe place!
Great advice! After all, this is OUR vacation, and we want to have some fun before we go visit our dysfunctional family members, lol!!
I've told the people that I want to see the dates that we're coming. If they want to see us, they'll arrange their schedules for a time that's convenient for us. If it doesn't work out, then...well, let's just say I don't see the problem with spending a quiet evening or two with my husband in a hotel room :o).
Hmm...maybe I should call and cancel on all of them...LOL!!!
