Just would like for everyone to say a prayer for my family. My father in law (who is my husbands stepdad) and my mother in law have been married for 20 years. She was married before (DH's dad) and he was a minister. She got very hurt during their four year marriage and has been out of church since. I mean really really hurt. Not little stuff here. When she remarried, she married someone who had been a preacher before but was hurt and out of church too. They love God and have a relationship with him but don't go to church. Well, my FIL has recently accepted an invitation to go preach and is excited about going back into ministry. Would be good news except MIL is devestated. We are talking divorce here. He is not considering her feelings on it. She can't understand the calling not going away. And me and dh are so in the middle. He loves this man like his own dad. But he has got to express to him to ease into this and not destroy the marriage over it. She is adament she doesnt want to be married to a preacher and that this isnt fair and they are pretty much decided to go their seperate ways. My children will NOT understand this and will be devastated. I hate to see this so badly. Please pray for us that we can speak with wisdom and that God will move and somehow work this out. Right now it looks pretty impossible. ANd I feel so bad for my dh. If this happens, he knows it will hurt his brother (who is 21 and not in church) toward ministry and church further. Not good. Please keep us in prayer.
Well, isn't that something. MIL married/divorced a preacher and married a former preacher. Glory! Know what, she's a preacher's wife. Her husband, your FIL was called of God and he's not going to get away from that calling. I'm so glad he's willing to go back and preach. I know MIL is ready to blow up, but God has her in His hand. I really feel for you, your husband, your kids and your mother and father in law. Praying for God's will to be done. Praying for healing for her. For healing for their marriage. And living in expectation that you'll be saying, "Wow! What just happened?" as they move back into ministry.
It can happen. I'm a divorced woman who remarried at 50. Thought I'd never stand in a pulpit again. Wrote sermons and curriculum and said, "I write so that others can preach." God had other ideas. He put me in front of an audience as I sang at a Gospel Jamboree and that old calling came bubbling up. I told DH. "I can't kick the calling. It's still there--divorced ot not." He said, "Let's go." Now we say, "We're not retired, we've been refired." I'm 70; still preaching my heart out (80 times in 2005). Still singing, too, if you can believe that, and only people occasionally remind me of the divorce. The Lord never does. God can heal...and he will. Believe it.
I have to reply in all honesty that I nor any of our family has hope for "them" going back into ministry. Just him. You'd just have to know her and our familes past. She would shoot you for calling her a preachers wife, that's how bad it is. I am not kidding. They are on the verge of seperating now. FIL just wishes she'd meet in the middle and atleast be willing for him to preach. SHe is not. So the prospects of her ministering with him are impossible. We are just praying God will give her a willing heart to let him fulfill his call but even that is looking grim. On the flip side, my FIL is trying to understand how she must feel but it is hard because he is 1) a man and 2) not the one who went thru what she did. He is being a little all or nothing himself and in my opinion which was expressed to him, if I had a scenario set out there that I was willing to lay my 20 year marriage on the line over and he did it anyway, it would send a pretty strong message to me that I didnt matter too much. They both are gonna have to give. He needs to ease into it but he is all about wanting to get back busy traveling and she has a mother in the nursing home that requires alot of her time and attention and they are already discussing who will keep what. Its that bad. So we are appreciating your prayers.
I think it comes down to...do you believe your MIL has a heart for God, aside from the "ministry calling" stuff...I mean, what is her spiritual condition aside from that? Do you believe she is still listening to, or sensitive at all to the voice of the Holy Ghost? Reason I say this is...
If you believe she has not hardened her heart completely to hearing from God and she is still praying, then I believe God can do a miracle. God has a way of waking people up...speaking to them whether it takes a dream in the middle of the night, maybe even a visit from an angel. Who knows what God will do but I believe if she is still reading her bible, praying, and open to hearing from God at all, He will make sure she gets the message.
I know as humans we may not see any hope of "them" going into the ministry, but fortunately God is our hope and He does not disappoint. Let's believe that your MIL will somehow hear the voice of God on this issue, aside from everyone else's voices, and will get on board with what God wants to do.
She married a preacher twice. That tells you something. I think deep inside she knows she is called and is running from it.
I understand why you are discouraged and why you feel there is no hope, but I'll stand with you for a miracle. Let's just believe together...
It is hard to say really. I hate to say what someones heart condition is because sometimes only God truly knows but from what I see as evidence or fruit, I would say she is not very open. She rarely talks about God at all. Her relationship with God is a very private thing to her and she rarely even talks about anything like that. Dh has only noticed in the past year or so that she is reading her Bible again. That was like a miracle to us. She has some serious walls and if she is praying she isnt telling anyone of us. She just doesnt talk about it. Atleast some people that are hurt deep enough will talk, albeit from a hurtfilled bitter heart. She is pretty silent. And what she does slip up and say doesnt lead you to believe she is having much two way conversation with God. Her sister is the pastor at the church i grew up in. She is manipulative and controlling and hurt me deeply. She covered for her husband when he tried to make a move on MIL in the church building (same man years later hit on me. and she covered for him again and I got blasted. I did nothing wrong. Turns out he cheated on her numerous times, tangled in porn and she covered for him everytime.) That is just thing number 1. THis is what she has a heart of hurt about. Years of being hurt bynot just a preacher but by her sister who is the preacher. And she has not changed. We have to keep our guard up at all times and so I think my MIL is just not that into "the Lord showed me this" or "that" so when her dh comes and says the Lord is calling me into ministry again she feels the Lord is betraying her and doing her wrong too and that's why she has shut down any talk of GOd and is just hurt. Hurt toward husband, hurt toward God. I hope she would open up and GOd could work that kind of miracle. But my faith isnt that big I dont guess. I see the seemly insurmountable task of just keeping them together. She has never once said anything about being called. She played piano in church was all before. Then my dh's dad started preaching. Marriage didnt last long after that. So in all actuality she didnt marry a preacher. Not with the knowledge of them being a preacher. She really thought this a part of FIL's past. I think she really means it when she says she doesnt want to be a preachers wife. She says to me every now and then she doesnt see how I do it. And i can tell she means it. There are times she'd like for dh and me to just be normal as well. So this is like her greatest fear has come true and I know he (FIL)is crushed but she is too. And I see both sides and just feel for them both. I hate to sound so faithless about it but I just see how big this giant is and would settle for a small miracle. But even if she says fine I will be ok with you doing it just dont ask nothing of me, he will still always have it in his heart that she's not 100% for it and the friction would just be under the rug. And that can kill a marriage over time too. I mean this has been a year or more coming and they have really drifted since then. SHe spent the last three dyas with us over the weekend and she and FIL never once communicated over the phone or anything. They are already doing their own things and just still living in the same house. That won't last much longer. He is already looking for a place and I just can't imagine going on preaching and being alone. When you've had a good thing for 20 years. They say its been going down hill for the last 6 years, ever since MIL had to take over care of her mother and eventually have her putin nursing home. She about had a nervous breakdown. So its been a tough few years for her. And this is her breaking point I think. I am rambling now but I just wanted to further explain and just say sorry for sounding so hopeless. But I guess I truly am. They need a miracle.
