The church we left would not recognize our call to pastor. We had to leave. We've been back to visit...and are not openly recognized.
I get emails from a member and she insists on calling me by first name only. Now when she mentions her pastor in the email...it's pastor so and so but I'm still addressed as "mary". Even the first lady is mentioned as Lady so and so.
Me, I'm still "mary". She knows we pastor. Been to our church's Web site and sees the "fruit". But I don't get the same courtesy as my former pastor.
Do I correct her on this? If so, how? I'm not hung up on titles...for real. But this disregard for the new place God has called me too is insulting.
This is difficult for me to really give a firm answer on because I do not know what your role was there. Were you a pastor at that church? If not that is probably why they did not call you pastor even if you had "the call" to pastor somewhere.
The only people who have ever called me pastor are those I am currently pastoring and with some, those I have formerly pastored. But to other people I'm just Deanna and that's fine with me because I'm not their pastor, nor have I ever been.
My close friend Maria moved away but still calls me pastor because she says in her heart that's what I'll always be. (She calls her new pastor pastor as well...)
But my point is, are you saying that these people should recognize your call to ministry? I agree if you are called to FT ministry I would hope you home church would acknowledge that if they see the fruit of that ministry. While they could recognize your ministry, they would not necessarily call you pastor - because you're not their pastor.
Since I do not know the exact situation here it's hard for me to comment but I think the important thing would be that your CURRENT church recognizes and affirms your call. Don't worry about the last one, just let it go.
We were ministers at the church. And nope they don't recognize us in this new place or share in the fruit of our ministry. And we do have fruit! None of that matters.
I'm still realizing that I can't make them love me or receive me. I worshipped and ministered in that place for more than a few years and to be so completely rejected and talked about DID hurt.
I'm glad God heals the hurt you can AND cannot see.
Even though I know this is blantant (gotta know the culture of the place where we came from)...I will let it go. They really do not matter.
I am fairly new to this post, therefore, I have not picked up on whether you are the SP of a church or not. Regardless, I do know from experience that if your dh is the head pastor....you may have a tinge of this all your pastorate unless you yourself are the head pastor (and he's more of a co-pastor or pastor's spouse). Even then, nothing's perfect! People are people and some find respect for women very hard.
If the church is steeped in traditional roles for women or if you are ministering to folks from traditional backgrounds, this issue will come up from time to time. Unfortunately, this gender thing is something that is frequently thrown in our face even in a denomination that ordains women. But you have a new start now, so forget what is behind and work the field before you! Bloom where you are planted.
I know where you're coming from...I am a licensed pastor, was at my last church with the title of "children's pastor," but there are people there who will never, to their dying day, acknowledge my calling or anointing, or validate my ministry.
On the day that we all announced our resignation, we had a lady (see PD's post on "nutjobs," lol!) get up and start babbling...pointed at SP and said, "I know you're called," did the same with YP. When she got to me, she said, "And I don't know about you..."
Pretty much reflected the attitude of most of the church people.
But what I've discovered about being in a place like that, is that it reaffirms my calling in my own heart. Kind of "toughens" me up, so to speak. If no person says I'm called, am I still called? Yes...because God says I am!
So let those people in that tiny church miles away from where I am swear to their last breath that I'm not supposed to be a pastor. I have a God who's bigger than them, and a new church that does recognize my calling and anointing.
I think that's the attitude we need to take with past "bad ministry experiences." To quote the opening song from Reba McIntyre's sitcom (love that show!), "Who I am is who I want to be...I'm a survivor!"
If you were on staff as ministers at that church and you were not recognized as such, it was definitely best that you move on. The key is to go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.
In our church, we are currently raising our staff up from within. Every staff member has come from the inside except for one. This is awesome in most respects (dh and I know what we are getting before they come on staff - there are no surprises - we have chosen them because of what we are getting way before they ever start getting paid and doing it FT.) But one issue that presents itself is the switch over from being a church member to a pastor.
So far it's worked really well. In the case of Pastor Lindsay, she's pretty much always been our right hand and people could see the progression of her ministry but still...because many have known her since she was 10 years old, and all that...there were a few that while they might have even seen her strong call to ministry, they didn't necessarily call her Pastor Lindsay. The senior pastor's actions are extremely important here. I never (if I can possibly help it) forget to attach pastor to the word Lindsay when I am around any church people. We make sure to ALWAYS put it in print. We make sure it's always in our bulletins, e-magazines, etc. that way. When discussing issues that might include her with other people if they repeatedly call her Lindsay we keep piping back in the conversation with 'pastor' Lindsay, hoping they will get the hint. We do this with all our staff. I believe modeling is the key.
But if the senior pastor doesn't do it, nobody will, it's that plain and simple.
If you were not being celebrated in your call, it was definitely best for you to move on to where you could flourish.
Listen I have to remind you that this problem was even a problem for our Savior! No, not the gender thing, of course (smile) ....no false doctrine here! But the problem that people didn't agree on who He was or what His calling was. Remember when He asked Peter "Who do people say I am?". And later got even more direct with: "Who do you say I am?". Peter answered correctly and then Jesus said it was revealed from His Father in Heaven.."mere man" did not reveal it to him. Often, I've thought about writing an article to PW or co-pastors entitled: Who do you say I am? Even Jesus had the problem of scorn or identity crisis.
Nevertheless, it still hurts when our gender is "picked on" simply because we are not male. And puppetmaster Children's ministry is a calling! One of the most important ones. As a child, I went to church on my own (Methodist). I was a little leader! I sang in children's choir, did skit drama's and brought the whole neighborhood. You go girl!
