Dear Ladies, I would be interested in some good come backs for a pet peeve of mine: when people say things like "Everyone knows Preacher's Kids are the worst". The only response I've thought to say is "You're not helping" or "Please don't say that!". (I think that's cursing them with ugly words and is not edifying to the pastoral family at all). But do I tell them so?!
What is your theory on this? Don't you think that part of it is we are prominent people always being watched? So, PK's are noticed more that the average church kid? I have never been one to leave my kids unattended to at church while I serve in a ministry area but it wears me out! And when so many other parents or single parents who are involved in area's of ministry (very faithfully), just leave their kids to themselves....It angers me that they are not corrected and are seemingly able to be unruly. Some of those parents have gotten on to other adults who supervised their kids because they are too busy in ministry to do it & the kids are just left to roam the building to do whatever.
Nonetheless, the minute my kids join in, they are singled out by comments like I shared above. I know it's persecution and people expect more of us, but those negative comments discourage the hearer. Even the Christian school said they found a pattern with most PK's ...so perhaps it's an area Satan attacks more to discourage the leader??! Either way, I'd like to hold people accountable for just spouting off opinions that are not building other's up.
But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord.
You do not need to answer them with words but with lifestyle. One of the things that I have found always sets a person straight is not what you say but what you do.
Proverbs 26:4-5 puts it this way in the Message translation - Don't respond to the stupidity of a fool; you'll only look foolish yourself. Answer a fool in simple terms so he doesn't get a swelled head.
Now if you just feel you must respond to such I would say oh, you know Pastor and I have been praying about doing a Bible Study on generational curses and how we break them, and you just gave me an idea, we need to assign some prayer warriors to defeat that curse that people have always said. Yes we are going to defeat that PK's are the worst ones curse.
I grew up a PK. I heard "Preacher's kids are the worst" from EVERYONE, both inside & OUTSIDE the church. For me, I was able to tune it out b/c my parents made sure I had a healthy self esteem. I knew that I wasn't the worst.
It is SOOO tough being a PK. Your every move is scrutinized, just as if you're the pastor or pw. As pastors, we've learned to enter "fakeland." The kids don't know how to do that, nor should they be expected to do so. I can't tell you the things that I went through growing up. Even the most innocent of comments made people gossip about me.
About 3 years ago, we had a falling out at our former church. A lady got up & told the congregation what bad parents we were & how our kids were horrible. My dh asked for an example (our kids were not there). The only thing that she could come up with is that our 6 year old (at the time) had been running around the church. I told him to stop running. I turned my back & he started running again. How horrible am I??!! She read the verse that pastors should be able to control their kids & that we should attend parenting classes.
I do appreciate the fact that my parents always encouraged me. They defended me. We do the same for our kids.
Oh, and my mom's favorite comeback when she heard "pks are always the worst": She would say "Well you know what they say, they learned it from the deacon's kids"... or SS teachers kids... or whoever the shoe fit that day!
Thanks ladies. Today I was reminded of these scriptures while listening to The Power of the Praying Parent book on tape.
Also, I really appreciate input from PK's who grew up with these type of situations! So far my children have never acted like they've been hurt by folks mouths. My son's are active boys but sweet. I wouldn't want them to be hurt in the glass house. We've tried to give them an ideal childhood. But we are not perfect, we do our best to point them in the right direction and trust God for his perfection and protection. Please pray for them when you read my posts and for me.
Also, keep in mind...pastors are the only people in the world who take their entire family to work with them.
Most of our people would have a nervous breakdown if they had to have their kids at the jobs.
I know Sunday is not our only work day by far. However it is the most important one. And on our most crucial day where we are leading...our whole family is there. It's not easy.
Sometimes in the kids younger years I thought I would have a breakdown. Thank God for a few understanding people who helped me at times.
Church people who talk like that will have a lot to answer for one day. Keep in mind too...the PK's are always under attack because there is a huge destiny upon their life. My husband says that when PK's go into ministry it's so powerful because they have basically been in intense ministry school all their life - they have an understanding that others do not have. We have a PK on our staff and it's definitely true. He has a natural understanding of how things work w/out it being explained most times.
