Please pray for our family. We got an email today from the parent of the boy my daughter has been seeing without our approval.
I won't go into details but lies and deceit abound. If the accusations stand true, she has proved herself untrustworthy and the biggest hypocrite! We'll get to the bottom of all this evening.
I feel hurt and I feel stupid. I'm also angry and furious!
Hubby even wants to go and meet with the boy and his parents. That would just humiliate her which brings a smile to my face right about now!
Unbelievable. Pray I don't fly off the deep end and say stuff that can never be healed. What's the chances of the parents lying on my daughter? Slim...yea that's what I thought.
Well, we'll be collecting the phone and all the other neat little gadgets she's got.
My heart aches. I don't like being lied too -- especially when the lie is blatant and she knows exactly where we stand on premarital sex!
*huge sigh*
I'm glad I just have two. Anymore may age me prematurely.
For real ladies...please pray for hubby and me. Especially me. I wanna cry.
I will be praying for you. I understand the deal with the Dd, the teen years are real trying, the peer pressure now is alot worse than it use to be. Be sure and listen to your daughter, things may be different than they appear. Do you know the parents of the boy? If so, I agree with Dh as long as the boys parents disapprove of this behavior also. Remember to take a deep breath and ask the Lord to help you keep from saying something to her that will cause irreversible damage. You are all in my prayers.
Not to hijack you post, but here is what happend to my dh this am. Our oldest Dd's boyfriend's mother came by telling him that Dd is her son's problem. That he was fine until she appeared. Well, Dh's dad side kicked in and let her know her son's problems were his fault, yes we also think it would be best for the two of them to not be together, but don't blame Dd for her son's problems, he had them before they ever got together. I know Dd is not doing right, I admit it, but to blame her for his prob's. She did not leave in a very good mood, but how can we keep them apart, they are both in their 20's. If they were teens, then yes I would attach her to my hip if I had to, but she is a young woman. I have to pray that she wakes up and sees what her life has become. I encourgae you to listen to your Dd, but investigate what she has been accused of. Prayers going up!
Good advice from MBear. I know this is very difficult for you and I feel for you. Nobody understands how hard the teen years are until they go through them with their kids. What a rollercoaster! Keep us posted. You can cry on our shoulders.
SJ: I'm praying for you. We haven't reached the teen years in our household yet, but they are getting closer every day. I'm praying that God will give you wisdom & His perfect peace.
We have 3 teen girls, and a pre-teen girl, all of whom try our patience in different ways. As has been said, choose your words carefully and prayerfully. Love you, Lori
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
I feel your pain... I have been where you are and I agree that you must be careful in your speaking that your words be seasoned with grace. In today's times when children are experimenting with so many things sexually and are so much more emboldened to try new things than I recall being, I caution you to keep the lines of communication open.
My daughter is 21 now and she is living outside of the will of God and outside of my plans for her life, BUT, I have made it my business to keep up with what she is doing and where and with whom. She knows that she has strayed from the faith that her father and I planted within her while she was home with us, but she is determined to spread her wings and fly... I say this out of disappointment but also out of understanding, I have shown her the path to holiness and I have encouraged her to walk therein, but I give her the same amount of patience that I asked the Lord to give my parents in dealing with me. I planted seeds in her and I have sprayed that garden with Sin-Be-Gone, and although she has chosen to put what I planted in her under a greenhouse while all around it grows wild, I know that she knows what I taught her and I make sure that I reinforce it every time we talk. My daughter counts on me to love her in the midst of her problems, and she expects me to pray her through, but because she knows she can tell me anything (including what I don't want to hear) I am rarely surprised by anything coming my way... I had to come to the understanding that God uses all kinds of situations to increase your circle of influence, maybe this moment of craziness that my daughter is experiencing is God's way of opening a ministry opportunity, because the Bible says that "you did it for evil, but GOD meant it for my good!"
I think that sometimes we do our families a disservice when we are more accepting and lenient publically of others, when our own families have the same issues. We tend to beat on our children saying how could you defy me when I have done so much for you and then we write them off when we preach weekly about a God who will never write you off. A God who will love you in spite of. Be careful that as you chastise your child that you let her know that she does not need to keep secrets from you. That you have great plans and expectations for her life, but that you need to know what she is expecting of herself.
One of the greatest conversations I had with my daughter was in trying to get her to explain why she was going to major in Pre-Law. Her response well all of my life I have been told that I should be a lawyer. But when I asked her did she love the law she said well I don't know. And then we talked about what she did love. And we realized that although the words that have been spoken over her life were that she should be a lawyer, her passion was in another direction. We can lead our children on a path, but sometimes we need to allow them to roam the land to see what other options are out there, but we can only do this if we stay in constant communication.
All of our children's lives we tell them you are a Child of God, but are we sure that they get the fullness of what that means? They see the abuse that we as the elect of God go through and the hurts that the "children of God" put upon our lives and this has a profound affect on them. Make sure that they also see the joy of serving the Lord, not from the "it's Sunday so you know the deal" frame of mind but from the attitude of gratitude...
Ultimately what I am saying is be full of grace. I know the Bible says TEND to the flock of God, but sometimes you need to MEND the flock of God.
She confessed that this boy has pushed her to do many things she didn't want to do...sex...oral or otherwise was not one of them.
She's disappointed in herself. She sees that this boy will say and do anything to sleep with her.
Hubby and I installed PCTattletale on her computer. We monitor IMs, emails, etc. Now I know some say this is spying and we're infringing on her privacy. Well obviously we don't think that way cause we bought the software! We wanted the truth -- the whole truth.
Let's just say that she has put the boy in his place and doesn't want anymore to do with him. He's caused lots of problems for us and her in the past. He is such a player! Knows just what to say and was really trying to work his mojo! He even tried to grease hubby and I but that didn't work. Something about his words just didn't sit right.
This boy is really something else!
I'm glad I calmed down. I'm glad our words were seasoned with grace.
Our daughter, according to our own words really wants to live a sold-out life for Christ...now. She sees that the boy can't have a place in her life.
Pray for her. I told her that we've been going through with this boy for years even though we said to hit the books and leave the boys alone! I said can't you see that this is a stronghold in your life? It's a soul-tie if ever I saw one. Pray it forever be broken. That he have no more influence cause he's really working hard.
I remember being a teenager. I remember my first love - I married him. I remember raging hormones. I know its rough. We should lift up all our teens who are really trying to live for God.
Glad to see things are looking up! Being a teenager today is tough because there's so much more to get into! (with modern technology). Here we have Glenn Ellison with Empowered Parents. It's for parents with strong-willed, or hard to control kids. Pray for me! That we'll navigate the teen years with great success! They are good boys, with BIG hearts but they are getting bigger than me and I AM TIRED. Please pray for us as parents primarily. We need wisdom and favor to help them through puberty, control anger and avoid disrespect, etc. One of the biggest problems I see in many adults is inability to control negative emotions and disrespect for authority. I hope to train my sons right so they will be a blessing in the Body of Christ and know how to submit one to another (Eph. 5:21).
Also, the girls today are really aggressive and my sons are very handsome. They get calls all the time. I covet prayer for their purity . I bought ' I kissed dating goodbye' by Joshua Harris and even if they just get part of it , I will be happy! It was cute; I told my son we'll listen to the book on tape when we go out grocery shopping. When we started it, he said "Wait ! I don't want to listen to this. It might desensitize me!" (smile) PRAY!
It's so hard to know what freedoms to give them. It's hard to let go. I appreciate your prayers whenever you read my posts. Are there any veterans out there?? Maybe 55+ I would be interested in any feedback or things you feel you did right! Blessings!
