This is what I've had to do for certain family members when it comes to conversing with them.
Family has a strange way of sucking me into conversations I don't wanna have, I know don't please the Father and are otherwise draining and always negative. And I know He expects so much more from me. I expect more from me. I'll never win them if I'm a part of the tearing down of other family members. Even just passively listening and not correcting the conversation is weighing heavy on me. Gossip is a horrible evil and I want no part of it. It pulls me from my Father and I hate that feeling. That I have sinned with my mouth and He is disappointed.
You've got 30 seconds. Go. Ding. Times up. I gotta go. I'm keeping my literal conversation holy.
Has anyone else had to let some family members go or enact the 30 second rule?
I hear ya!!! DH and I actually have a list of "agreed upon" topics that we just don't discuss with his parents (They are ultra-conservative, Jerry Falwell-loving fundamentalists, and we're city-dwelling theatre people with a female pastor thrown in the mix. 'Nuff said!). We get along famously with them now that we've limited our topics of discussion!!!
<laughing> yep! Politics is the big in my husband's family. And abortion--they call it "choice." And alcohol. And women preachers. We've said our say and don't need to repeat it. Guess our thinking is that we step back to the place where we're walking together and try to go from there. At the same time, when it's really important, we speak up.
But, I think you were talking about gossip. Don't you feel yucky (guilty) after a session of gossip? Marilyn Hickey has a LOOK that she gives someone who begins to tell her something about someone else. First, she gives the LOOK, then she turns away. That should freeze out the gossiper. Like you, I don't want to get pulled in.
You know, overall, God is teaching me (an extrovert!) to keep my mouth shut! Do you know HOW HARD that is? It's not impossible. Just requires my spirit man to override my flesh.
Yesterday, I went to the barber shop with my husband. While he was getting his hair cut the barber and another person were really deep into a conversation about a man in town--he's lazy, makes his wife take out the trash, never holds a job, and on and on. By the time we left, I felt absolutely...guilty. I had just set there like a lump and didn't say a word in the man's behalf. Well, I kept my mouth shut, but I think the Lord wanted me to speak up and say shut up.
I've never been one to be shy about speaking up in cases like that...I don't get gossiped to very often, because I'm extremely blunt, as in, "Hey - you're talking about my friend/family member/husband (yes, believe it or not, someone actually started ripping on my husband in front of me once!). Please change the subject." I generally don't give them room for negotiation! I'm not saying this to brag or anything - I think I probably need to work on my tact in that area .
One thing I love doing, just to mess with people's minds...is if they're talking about someone I don't know, I'll say, "That's my mom...grandma...whoever." Reactions to that are priceless!!
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