I didn't get the "dream job" in Madison that I posted about earlier. Didn't even get an interview.
I cried and cried that night, and DH cried and grieved with me - we both really thought this was "the one." I've applied for a couple more jobs - one in southern IL (not sure about that one - that's REALLY southern for me...apologies to all you southern ladies on this board, lol, but I grew up two hours south of Canada!) and one near Chicago.
In the meantime, I'd started reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. I'm SO not about "spiritual self-help" books - I'm much more of a fiction person. But I was in Barnes & Noble the other day, with a gift card, and this book was sitting on the shelf and I felt compelled to buy it. And wow. God is really using it to change my life.
I really feel like God is using this time to draw me back to Him. To show me how madly, wildly crazy He is about me, and just let him be #1 in my life again. I think this is why so many doors have been closing for me. I'm a children's pastor - most CP's I know have 2-3 churches that they need to choose from when they're interviewing!! If they leave a position, it's usually because they've gotten snatched up by another church that desperately needs them. But here's me - started looking in October and still nothing. But I have really needed this time. DH and I (gasp!) took a Sunday off last week and went to breakfast together. Starting this week, though, we're going to take the opportunity to check out some of the churches in the area - sneak a look at their kids' areas...get ideas...hear some great pastors...
But He does have something for me....and for the first time, I really feel confident that we will be able to keep our friends even if we don't live close to them (although another one of the jobs I applied for is 3 hours away from where they are...). I released our friendship to God, though. If He moves DH and me close to them, I'll rejoice. If He doesn't, I'll start planning vacations and looking for cheap plane tickets . Either way, God is not some killjoy standing above me, just waiting to take away everything I hold dear to me.
In other news, we're officially putting our house up for sale. Our real estate agent was really encouraging - he thinks it'll be a snap to sell - the area we live in is a hot market right now. If we don't have a ministry to go to by the time we close, we'll probably just find a place in Minneapolis to rent temporarily. I found a building close by that has 3-month leases available AND accepts dogs up to 100 lbs (ours is only 50-60 lbs, lol!). My brother is also giving me the name and # of his landlord, who also accepts pets of any kind (yes, my dog is my baby!!!), and owns a bunch of property really close to my house.
To paraphrase the Psalmist, "I have been young and now am old, and I have never seen God's people forsaken or the righteous begging for bread." He is going to take care of us,and I will have something exciting to report to all of you soon...
Welcome to the world of being unconnected to the past while still unconnected to the future. I lived it for a year and it was one of the most confusing time of my life yet also one where I grew incredibly. And it looks like that's what you are doing. I'm proud of you for opening your heart beyond MN. I know that was a very big step for you. God will bless you simply for your willingness, even if he does not take you that far from home...just knowing your heart was willing.
Keep us posted. We are here to listen. One thing - when you don't get a position, although it's hard, believe me, I know it is - you have to look at it that God evidently protected you from something you don't know about.
Countless times dh and I have heard about "blow ups" that happened where we thought we wanted to go! As we sit here in Tampa and enjoy the heck out of our church, we many times have heard about how the pastors who went to churches we were interested in have already come and gone from there...have had conflict...weren't treated right...how the position wasn't what it appeared to be, etc. There are positions we thought seemed to ideal, yet in just the time we've been here in Tampa, those churches are already looking for another pastor again, or just got one. Believe me, God protects those who really seek Him. When you are committed to have HIS WILL and not yours, I believe He protects you from things that aren't good for you.
. Either way, God is not some killjoy standing above me, just waiting to take away everything I hold dear to me. 
