I just wanted to know how do you keep going? This is not the easiest task to accomplish in the world. It is difficult especially when you are a growing ministry and it looks like you are stuck. I am amazed at how my husband hangs in the ministry.
You see we started from scratch with only 8 people including us. We have been doing this for 7 years with about 30 of us now. However, I just feel that we should be a little farther along. I have been discouraged so often in ministry, but my husband's faith encourages me to hang on. He always says, "God gave me a Word." That is what keeps him.
I was just wondering, b/c I know this has not been easy for us or you guys all the time. How do you all stay focused and remain stedfast when you are looking at your present situation?
Well, it's not easy for any of us, you've got that right. But it's worth it.
Several things contribute toward my staying power. Of course the Word and prayer, it should go without saying. But otherwise, I have a few mainstays that keep me going:
FRIENDS in ministry! Someone real, someone touchable. Someone who understands partnership. In fact, I talked to one of mine tonight and I have to tell you, it did me a world of good. Many times I simply would not make it without pastor friends. I might still be alive, but emotionally, I would be so unhealthy, probably in a nut-house somewhere.
Good relationship with dh - this is invaluable. He is my main source of comfort aside from the Lord, day in and day out. We lean on each other so much.
Treating myself especially on the hard days. You've got to take care of yourself, but beyond that i give myself special treats particularly on challenging days. You have to be convinced - you're worth it.
I walk - exercise is a main stress releaser and reliever.
Rest - know your limitations - make sure to get a good night's sleep and take a day off.
I think one of the most important things is, really cultivate a totally open and honest relationship with a friend in ministry to where you can tell each other anything. I have to have friends who can tell me the hard things because quite honestly when i've got a bad situation on my hands (say I'm being what I feel is unfairly criticized) the fact that they are gut level honest with me means that when they comfort me, I know it's real - they are not just patronizing but they really believe I'm right.
When one of my friends says, 'YOU ARE SO RIGHT ON THIS ONE, GIRLFRIEND..." it floods my soul with... "okay, so I'm not so crazy on this..." I tell you what, sometimes in partnership ministry we can feel like we're dealing with people from another planet. But that's a whole other subject.
Deanna, you are so right. I just need some ministry friends. That is something I do not have. I am such a hermit. I am quite antisocial. I have to meet people. But, is it wise to meet ladies in your same city and become good friends and tell everything about your life and church. I do not know who I could trust like that near me. I will work on the area of finding someone. I have prayed about getting to know people and developing friendships.
You might not want to pick someone right in your city. A lot of people are uncomfortable, I am finding out, telling someone who also pastors in your town everything. It helps to find someone in a nearby town. The pw that I get together with on a regular basis and talk shop with is about 45 minutes away and we either meet in the middle at a restaurant and the mall that is located half way for each of us, or we take turns coming to each other's place. She is close enough, we can do this easily but we also have a little distance between us, it's not like we are pastoring right on top of each other, know what I mean?
Keep in mind I didn't have this from the beginning - it took almost two years to find. We have really just been friends for about a year but things took off quickly because our personalities just gelled.
When I first moved to Tampa I would get together with other pw's or pp's here in the city (and I still do) but I do not have the same level of depth in sharing and bearing the burdens that I do with this other friend. I am also finding through my work in women's ministries within my district (I've just been rep for the Tampa area for almost a year now) it has opened up a whole new world and many relationships for me within that context. Most of the reps are pw's and obviously most got this position because they were/are highly involved. I think this is why I love reps meetings so much - it's like sitting in a room where you are preaching to the choir all day! Ha! Ha! Everybody has the same mindsets, generally, within a group of servants like this.
In any case, it takes time and fortitude to cultivate relationships. But you have to do it for your own health. And, you will be a great blessing to somebody else.
