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puppetmaster


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Took the plunge...
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Well, I sent in my resume to a church in my area that is looking for an assistant children's pastor...as well as e-mailed my District's CE director to request a meeting - for advice, encouragement, and possibly more job leads in the area.


I love my pastor...I really do.  And I love the kids that I work with.  But the reality of the situation is that I am doing full time work for $100/week, on top of my full time day job that I need to survive, and the congregation seems to be divided as to whether I even deserve to be paid for children's ministry at all ("We've never had to pay someone to work with the kids before.").  I'm tired of working myself to death, never getting a vacation, and quite frankly, being taken for granted as a children's pastor.


This particular church that I sent my resume to is actually CLOSER (by about 5 minutes, but still...) to my home, is a much larger church that has a great reputation in our district - as opposed to the one I'm at now...


So, I'm keeping my eyes open.  My best friend (the YP at our church) keeps telling me to get the heck out of our church - that I deserve better, and that this church has basically chipped away at my self-esteem to the point where I don't even think I'm good at what I do anymore. 


And it's sort of true - I came from my last church where, as a Wednesday night layworker, my DH and I completely revamped the 4-6 grade program and brought the numbers up to almost 40 on a given evening.  We had kids practially ordering their parents to take them to church on Wednesday night , and parents falling all over themselves trying to help us and thanking us for working with their kids.  We were starting to bring in kids from the neighborhood, too.  And this was a church of about 150-200 total attendees.  I AM good at what I do.  I'm called, and I'm anointed, and I'm extremely tired of feeling like a complete failure, simply because I don't have the support of anyone other than the youth pastor and the senior pastor!!


I do still plan to talk to my SP - probably with my DH present - but I am really tired of the attitude that the church is paying me "so much" to work with the children.  $100/week is not that much.  Do they think I'm taking that $$ and blowing it all on wild spending sprees?  DH and I are barely making it financially!  I told YP on the phone today that I would like nothing better than to walk up to the board and say, "You don't want to pay me for being your children's pastor?  Then don't.  I'm gone!"  But I realistically can't do that until I have something else lined up.  And that wouldn't be the best resignation etiquette, either .


The fact that I'm a children's pastor, though, means I'm in demand.  YP had a meeting this week with our DYD, and he told her that she has a fabulous reputation in our district and he wants to keep her around.  The people in our church honestly think that because we were called to that church, we're going to stay and take their abuse and low pay forever.  But as we pointed out in our conversation, we are called to our husbands and families first (well, future families...but that's part of the point!  Neither of us can possibly start a family right now where we are!).  And the cold, hard reality of it is that our family incomes are slowly being flushed down the toilet while we're being abused besides!


Our SP was absolutely wonderful in the way he handled the family that gave YP so much trouble.  We are so proud of him that we could burst.  But I have a feeling that our old CA's fangs may come out again.  She was distracted with this situation; she hated this family MORE than she hated DH and me, so it was easy for her to act loving and forgiving toward the pastoral staff, because we were helping to accomplish her goal of getting them out.  For once, her beef ended up being in alignment with the pastor's vision, as well as what was best for the church.  But now she has to have something to complain about, and my gut feeling is that it's going to be DH and me...Maybe that's not a forgiving attitude, but I'm so incredibly gun shy at this point in that place...


What the heck?  I'm a CHILDREN'S PASTOR!  I'm supposed to be the happy one with the puppets that everyone loves...Apparently, or so I've heard, in normal, functional churches, we're actually given a place of honor.


I know I've been whining and venting a lot here lately, but as I've said, this is one of the only places I can go for it...


Keep me in your prayers.  I have a lot of hard decisions to make!


P.S. Holy Timing, Batman!  While I was looking over this post, I got an e-mail from the ministry administrator at the church I sent my resume to...saying that the position has been upgraded to a FULL TIME children's pastor position, and was I still interested?  I replied that I was, indeed, still interested...I'll keep you posted!!



-- Edited by puppetmaster at 13:28, 2005-10-13

-- Edited by puppetmaster at 13:31, 2005-10-13

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Trace


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Hi, Puppetmaster:  You did take a big step.  I'll be praying that the Lord will clearly show you the path that He would have you follow.


In our situation, I keep thinking of something our presbyter said before we took our church.  He said it takes about 5 years for the pastor & church  to get to really know & trust each other.  5 years for the church to get on board w/ the pastor's vision, learn to trust him, etc.  5 years!!!  We've made it through 1 year 3 months.  That means we have 3 years & 9 months to go if we hold to the averages.  Yikes! We have only a handful of families that we started out with.  I'm not sure if that would apply to CP & YP, too, but I know it takes time.


Please know that you are truly an inspiration to me.  I've said it before and  I truly believe it...  God is going to use you in a mighty way, whether in your current church or elsewhere.


Love you & praying for you,


Trace



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Deanna


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You are wise to get the process started if you feel a release.  If you feel the burden for that location and those people lifting off of you it's definitely best that you move on to where you can flow in your calling.  You need to be in a place where you are CELEBRATED and not TOLERATED.  I agree with the YP - move on to greater things.


Just take the high road all the way out the door.  Trust me on this.  Go out in a position of strength...I know you want to explode on them but the thing is if you do, when you leave they will say, "It's a good thing she left...look how she responded..."  But if you take the high road and go out with a good attitude, those who gave you a hard time while you were there will be incessently blamed for you being gone!!!  Believe me, I know, it works.


When there is a group of troublemakers in a church, you want them to stand out like a sore thumb when you leave.  Let the people see them for what they are!!!  The only way to do that is to let your behavior shine next to theirs.  Take the Godly route.  There are more people there that appreciate you than you think, only they aren't the "power brokers".  What you will have happen when you leave is...all those other people will rise up against the C.A.'s  Just wait and see if I'm right!


My dh and I dealt with this in our previous church.  There were a few people there that gave us absolute hell.  (A small handful of people)  Most people in the congregation didn't realize it.  Dh and I were strong leaders and kept it under wraps.  We dealt with the pain privately.  And we knew we were headed for greater things - we kept our eyes on the great things to come.  When we left though, those people stood out like sore thumbs.  The good people blamed them for us leaving, and a lot of them still do to this day.  However, if you lambast that antagonistic group on your way out, what happens is, they will say, "well, Puppetmaster needed to leave, because look at what she said/did to us!"  That will make the good people think maybe there's something to their garbage.  Shine like a star all the way out the door, and let those C.A.'s FACE THE MUSIC once you are gone!!!!!  (It's a shame you can't pop some popcorn, pull up and enjoy the show...)  Trust me, the good people in the church will be devouring those CA's like wolves once they have lost you.  And if your pastor leaves?  Look out.   There's no telling what would happen to those C.A.'s!!!!!!


Oh enough of this, I could just go on it forever because I've been there, done that...........and it's so predictable.


Love you & praying for God's will for you,


Deanna



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puppetmaster


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Hee, hee!  Now I almost WANT to leave before YP does so that I can get firsthand reports of the mass chaos that ensues in the children's ministry! J/K...I mean (sober face) we must pray for God's will to be done in this circumstance .


The thing is, there's a lady who's been working with the kids for 30-40 years that I know they're counting on just taking over the whole ministry again if/when I leave.  But I (and YP!) know something that they don't know: It's not happening!  She's confided in us that she feels that she's "done her time" in that area, and she is too old and too tired to take the whole thing back over for the umpteenth time.  So, she'll keep teaching Rainbows and the preschool Sunday School class - which she is fabulous at - but she's not planning on anything else...


I have been praying and praying and praying about the situation at my church, and this other position just seemed to pop up out of nowhere...then today, when I finally got up the guts to actually send my resume to them, I get info back from them that it's been changed to a FT ministry job.  I need to pray some more, but it sounds a little too "coincidental to be coincidental." 


I really don't plan on leaving in a huff, or telling everyone off.  It's just fun to think about sometimes!!  But much more fun to think about watching the drama unfold.  I worked for an annoying Mormon woman one summer, and a friend and I imagined, for our own amusement, my walking out on my last day saying, "Goodbye...you polytheist!!"  But I didn't do that, either .


Ah, well - we shall see!!



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Deanna


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I know what you mean about wanting the YP to be there so you can see, but God will show you in other ways...you always hear about it somehow.  They will miss you more than words can say and never truly be able to replace you.


I was shocked when we left MD about all the people that after the fact (months after...some even a year after) e-mailed me and said, "We never realized what we had..." "It will NEVER be the same..."  "We are so sorry that we took you for granted...should have appreciated you more..."  "we never realized the quality of ministry we had until it was too late..."  We still hear that now, but the thing is, it was shocking the people that we weren't even that close to or thought would notice and even now sometimes I receive an e-mail or call from somebody saying they just had to call and tell me or my husband that.  Trust me, Puppetmaster, people you don't even think will care will miss you more than you can ever imagine.


Please take my advice on something else -- do the most powerful children's services you have ever done in the upcoming weeks/months.  Work harder than you have ever worked.  On your last Sunday there, make it the best Sunday of all.  Pump it up!  Leave on an outstanding high.  I think many people when they know they are leaving start to slow down, slack off...your joy is not there (except for the joy set before you in what's to come) and your heart is not there, therefore it's easy to just rest.  But don't.  Because then when you move on, people will be like, "well, things really were slacking off..."  but if you leave on an absolute high they will realize instantly that to lose you is indeed, a true loss!!!


We went through a time at our church previous when we went through a very difficult time, a "split" of sorts and I asked my dh if we would leave then.  It would have been easy to do so.  The most comfortable thing to do.  But he said, "absolutely not, I'm going to build this church back beyond where it was, get it on a high, and then go out on top..."  And that's what we did.  It took a few years, but I don't regret it a bit. 


Always leave on top --


Love you,


Deanna



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Priscilla 2


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Taking the plunge!  Are you willing to relocate?  Children's pastor is a very honorable calling.  Most churches are not big enough to salary and cover benefits but I believe God will take care of you once you are in the center of His will!  I admire anyone who is called to minister to kids!  Have you tried www.4kids.ag.org ? 


   



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Andrea Fruscella
puppetmaster


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I really can't relocate right now - as I said earlier, I am called to my husband first and his dream, calling and ministry are here in the Twin Cities.  I know he WOULD relocate for me, because that's just the kind of guy he is.  But I want to see him succeed, too, and his dream (the theatre company) is on the brink of taking off right now!!


According to Dan Rector (children's ministry specialist at NCU and international children's evangelist), average starting pay for a children's pastor is $40,000/year.  That's for rookies right out of Bible college!  That's just how much people are wanting children's pastors right now...


My district (MN) is one of the most "children's ministry friendly" districts out there...in fact, there was a church about 10-15 minutes from me last spring who was hiring a PART TIME children's pastor for $25,000!!!


So I don't think I'll have any problem finding something.  I had a revelation that the church I am at right now is NOT a reflection of how most people feel about children's pastors...


 



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Deanna


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You are definitely right, Puppetmaster...it's hard to find a children's pastor.  A good one, that is.  First, there is such a shortage of candidates.  When we were looking I called every school in the A/G and spoke to the head of their children's dept.  Many of the graduates were already spoken for upon graduation.  Many pastors take them upon the recommendation of their professors.


We started with a slim playing field.  Then taking into consideration our requirements, that knocked at least half if not more of those out.  We finally found someone 7 months into the process.  And we could not be happier.  Our children's pastor graduated from CBC and then when to AGTS for a year and then came to us.  While there he worked part time in children's ministry. He and his wife are very sharp...very good at what they do, however what I love most about them is their attitudes.  This might sound so simple but you know I just love being around them.  And when you love being around a staff person outside of work time, believe me it makes all the difference.  When my dh says, "Let's invite the Mackley's over for dinner" I really look forward to it, not because I feel it's my job, that I must do it, but with this couple, I can't wait to do it!  (I say that because we have EVERYONE over as a rule...we are always extending hospitality, but there is no one that I usually would keep having over all the time, every week.)  One time we had them over for dinner three weeks in a row.  As we sat down for dinner, Pastor Trinity said, "is it the standard thing that the senior pastor has the children's pastor over three weeks in a row for dinner?"  My husband said, "no, but in your case...it's different!"  We just love being with them...they are wonderful people.  And we are so blessed to have finally found them.   



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Priscilla 2


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That is so good to hear!  Children's pastors are hard to find and we can't pay that.  We never made that until we were SP's :)  It will take the Lord to open the heart of the right one!  We've been looking for a long time also.  So, your testimony Deanna was good to read.  Thanks. 


Puppetmaster you sound like you use variety and creativity!  What a wonderful thing for Children.  There's been many prophecies over the kids of our church.  It's been such a journey to find the right CP!  Please pray we will soon.  I'd like to see someone really make it into something exciting with excellence like Disney (as far as just going all out with imagination, fun, and creativity. We need someone with a vision for our children! 


Any other statistics re: cp's that I should know?!  It's a new beginning at our church.   



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Andrea Fruscella
puppetmaster


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Priscilla -


I highly recommend George Barna's "Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions."  Great book for anyone to read, but especially SPs!!



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Deanna


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Dh and I absolutely LOVE that book!!!  It was part of the decision to re-structure our staff and go for a FT children's pastor, versus other choices.  Honestly, if my dh were ever in a position where he could only have one FT staff person, it would DEFINITELY be children, no question about it!  After reading that book, you will see why. 



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Co-Pastor, Celebration Church of Tampa

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