SP wanted to take care of it ASAP, so he, YP and CA all got together and hashed out the situation.
It was agreed that CA will not speak to YP regarding any kind of church business that does not involve the youth ministry (including any of her problems with or opinions of the pastoral staff or other church members), and if she or anyone else tries to involve her in these issues, she's going straight to SP and there will be repercussions.
I am assuming that also includes her going around YP and telling another congregation member, who will then proceed to call up YP (or one of us) and tell us, because you know they will.
I am a little frustrated that this did not end with her being removed from the board, but it sounds like she has been given just enough rope to hang herself (I mean, let's face it - do you think that she's going to be able to stay quiet for long?). I am praying that God will just plain move her (and all the rest of the troublemakers!) out. If they'd just all voluntarily leave the church, it would save us all a whole lot of trouble and probably contribute to church growth!
One of the teenagers (a very mature HS senior) came up to YP at the end of youth group last night and said that she had been interceding for the church and that she feels like we're in the last "push" of the battle. No one has said anything to this girl about the stuff that's going on - no one even really knows about it. So it was definitely God who told her. That was encouraging.
What is discouraging is the lack of finances for both DH and I, and for YP and her husband. Things are pretty slim for both couples - I mean we're talking "it's a struggle to even pay our bills and buy groceries and gas (well, that part is true for everyone in the U.S. right now!)" slim. I know that our Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and that He can provide, and that this is just another angle that the devil is trying to hit us with. He's finally figured out we're not going to leave just because of church politics, so now he's got a new ball game. So if you could pray for our staff in that area, that would be great!!
Well praise God for the initial results of this meeting. I think you're right, your sp gave her just enough rope. My dh is a big proponent of that statement...he says often all he has to do is give people the rope and they take themselves out of leadership by their actions (he doesn't have to.) We'll keep praying in this regard.
Regarding the finances, we'll be praying. Let's lift everyone up right now. Our country needs a real touch from God. It really angers me that our gas prices are so high when we have all the resources that we need here in the USA but we can't tap them due to the left wing extremists. This whole problem could be solved overnight if we wouldn't be so overly concerned (to such an extreme degree) about the environment.
Just need to vent some more because there's no one else to vent to...
As part of this meeting, CA was insisting that DH and I are also in the habit of going to YP and "gossiping" about her. She said, "Well, you have never come to me when they've talked bad about me." (She was upset that we knew some of the things she had said - because YP had told us back when WE were going to have to be part of this meeting, so we weren't blindsided by the venomous things she had said.)
YP answered, "Exactly." The point was, we DON'T gossip about her.
But she threw a temper tantrum, and said that if she's going to get into trouble for going to YP about her "concerns" or "frustrations" with us, then anyone in the church - us included - should get in trouble for it, too. It's only fair. It's like being in a marriage counseling session where the cheating partner says, "Well, if I can't cheat, neither can he/she." Which is fine, because the other person wasn't cheating in the first place.
I have gone to YP when I've been really down because CA has hurt my feelings. But I had decided after hearing the results of this meeting that I wasn't even going to do that anymore - not that I'm wrong, but I don't want to give her any ammo, real or imagined - other than her very own rope to hang herself.
So why am I venting? Because SP pulled DH aside and talked to him about not "slandering" CA. First, it's as though we don't have the common sense to see what we need to do in this case. Second, it's as though we were doing something wrong in the first place. Third, when you break it down to the lowest common denominator, and cut through all the garbage, we have basically been told by our boss that we can't tell our best friend when our feelings are hurt.
I know he didn't mean it like that - and I know he's probably shaking in his boots right now, because DH ended up needing to end the conversation to go pick me up. And that's what he said, "I'm going to go pick my wife up from work. I have to go. We can talk about this more tomorrow." And he left. I'm sure SP picked up on the fact that DH was upset.
The thing is, I never did anything to this woman at all. I was one of her biggest supporters when she was being elected to the board. Then all of a sudden, she turned against DH and me, and now we're the ones who are in the wrong and are supposedly speaking against her. She's still on this flattery kick with YP, where she's all, "I love you, and I appreciate you, and you're wonderful and perfect," and so on. Barf. Because you know she's not sincere about that, either. She's trying to pull a "divide and conquer" among friends. And we know that she's going to other people in the congregation and speaking against YP. Not to mention SP.
I just want it over. God has most definitely not released me from that place - He's spoken to me 6 times over the course of this week, and told me otherwise. But I'm tired. I'm just plain tired of the whole thing. Like I said, I don't think SP did anything wrong. I think he could have been bolder and stood up for us more...but I wasn't in the meeting, so maybe he did. I'm just extremely hurt by this woman and I feel like I'm completely alone out on the front lines of the battle. I feel completely "uncovered" as far as prayer goes, and so incredibly under attack. I'm not even praying for communion with my Lord and Savior anymore - I'm praying for my survival. So that I can even stand getting out of bed in the morning and going to work. I know the battle isn't against flesh and blood, but as our ONE intercessor said, "It sure seems like it's always the same "flesh and blood" that we're not fighting against!"
Do you ever get to the point where you enjoy ministry? When it's actually exciting to go and minister to the people you've been called to reach? When you can actually see the fruits of your labor instead of being shot down every time you walk in the door? Is it ultimately worth it? I know it is ultimately - I'm just tired of fighting...
Well, God answered all of those questions today! I read the book of 2 Timothy today in my time with Him. Can I just say, "Wow"?!?!? I am in my office at my desk, and I am supposed to look all professional and dignified, but I want to get up and do the happy dance. It's chapel time right now, and all faculty and students are there right now, so I have my "I Worship" CD blasting. Listening to "God Will Make a Way" right now. He WILL give me strength - and I don't have to worry about anyone else's attitude other than my own. It is my job to stay blameless and pure before God, endure hardship with grace and keep on like a soldier of Christ, and PREACH THE WORD!! There is also confirmation that those who resist God and His anointed (and anointing...) will not be allowed to go further, and their folly will be shown, as were Jannes and Jambres when they resisted Moses. This is about the 3rd or 4th parallel that has been shown through prophetic words and the Word of God comparing our situation with that of the Israelites in Egypt...
This has gotten a bit long-winded, but I am just A LITTLE BIT EXCITED! I am determined to keep praying and stay close to Jesus, because I know that there is a war being waged, not only for our church, but for me. But my Lord has told me that I can resist attacks from the enemy, and that I am victorious!! Okay, I'm done now. For now. I'm going to lunch .
I'm glad the Lord has spoken to you through His Word and prayer. I would like to draw your attention to something else in the Word as well.
Titus 3:10 "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him"
Your CA will never understand this because she is first of all clueless about church ministry, second I believe she is influenced by evil spirits, however...the truth is that your staff can never lead by keeping each other in the dark. The Bible says to MARK those who cause division among you. You can't mark something by keeping it a secret. It is marked so that others can be aware of what to watch out for. If a snake was slithering around the sanctuary you would not keep the YP in the dark about it - you would ask them for help.
My dh and I do not share personal counseling things with our staff, but we do share about anything outside that setting that would threaten the unity of the church. Or, anything to do with that staff member's ministry. Staff must keep each other informed in order to first of all stay in unity as you lead as a team, second to work together to promote harmony and progress in the church.
This woman WANTS to keep her actions in the dark at all cost, because that's where Satan works - in the dark. Once you bring something into the light, it can't operate anymore as it once did. It is exposed. She is doing these things banking on the fact that staff will not inform one another. She is twisting the scripture and using it against you.
It is not gossip to share among staff (SP, YP, CP and spouses) about individuals who are causing a problem in the church. Not only is it not gossip - but it is essential for the protection of your church body.
I know this woman would never understand that - however you CANNOT let her make you feel as if you should be condemned for sharing this information. This is just part of the job as a pastor or staff pastor.
In other words what she is saying is, 'I can do my dirty deeds and because you are not supposed to talk about me, I should be able to get away with doing what I do without anyone else in the church knowing unless I want them to." THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
Oh, we definitely plan to report any "dirty work" that she does. For instance, if she decides, in the spirit of "making her relationship with us right," to start trashing YP to us (because she is angry about the meeting or whatever!), it is definitely going to be brought to light. If she goes to YP or any of us with gossip about ANY church member, same thing!!
What we are avoiding is going to each other and just griping about her in general...in other words, we refuse to stoop to her level. If she does something specifically wrong, we will go to our SP and, as I have been doing, document it. YP and I will certainly continue to give each other the "heads up" if she is up to something nasty.
The thing is, she thinks that she has won (or rather, satan thinks he has used her to win a victory), but she SO hasn't!! The only person who needs to change is her, because none of us have been doing anything wrong, and we're going to keep doing what we've been doing.
We have people praying for us who don't even know what to pray for; only what God tells them. And He is telling them plenty. We have been praying that God would move out of His way people who speak against God's anointed, and He has already moved one.
I am forwarding your message on to DH, who is presently working at the church...hopefully he will share this with YP and SP if they are there...
