I'm very moody today. It has to do w/ dh. He hasn't taken a day off now in a week and a half. It will be Saturday before he will take a day off. To be honest, not all is his fault. (We're putting in a basketball court at the church & the concrete people were supposed to come Monday & didn't make it, Tuesday & didn't make it, & then finally they made it today.) But I ablsolutely hate this. I feel like a single mom without any help. I feel like everybody else takes priority over me the kids. Dh & I have this arguement every 6 to 8 weeks or so. It's the same thing over & over.
I tell him he takes me for granted. I don't feel appreciated. I do x,y, & z in the church, & he never says a simple thank you. To be honest, today I feel like just quitting it all "just to show him." But I know that is wrong & I'll never do it.
For example, Saturday night/ Sunday morning, dh was extremely sick. He just couldn't get out of bed (or away from the bathroom) to go to church. I asked him about 3 in the morning if I needed to plan to speak. He said yes. So, I called & got a Teen S.S. teacher & a van driver (dh does this on Sunday a.m.). Plus I planned to speak. Plus I got kids all ready by myself ( which you know is a chore on Sunday morning anyway.) Later he asked me, "Did you tell Kathy & Teresa thank you for helping out on such short notice." I told him that I did. But did he ever thank ME for jumping in... NO!
Monday night I was asked to speak at a Lady's meeting at another church. I was so excited b/c I feel this is an area that God is leading me to do. This was the first time I had been asked to speak somewhere other than my own church. I came home. He did ask how it went (It was so AWESOME by the way. God really helped me.) But dh didn't take time to sit & listen how it went. Instead, he was playing the Playstation (those things are SO EVIL!! Kidding, I think.)
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I don't know what to do. Do any of you ever have these types of conversations at home? Or is it just me?
Oh yeah. We have had those conversations! THey arent too long behind us either. Since we have moved to our new work he has been better. He doesnt have the SAME pressure as he had there. There is always pressure. Some is easier to deal with than other kinds. But you are not alone. I had grown very extremely resentful of all he had to do and how little he helped me. It just seems to take God to get thru to them! We hear your heart and can so relate! Hang in there. I'd come hang out with you if I could! lol Wouldnt that me cool. Like a pastor wife pick me up posse! Traveling encouragement team! That would be neat. (No body steal my idea! lol)
"A Pastors Wife Pick me up Posse" & "Traveling Encouragement Team." I like that idea.
I can picture a "Pastor's Wife Ambush, " traveling across the U.S., ambushing unsuspecting Pastor's Wives & Lady Pastors, who need a pick me up (sort of like Oprah): taking them to a luxurious spa, getting them a makeover, a mini shopping spree, food of their choice, and night of "hanging out w/ the girls."
Just the thought of that is making me feel better....
Like a best friend on wheels. They have big brothers and big sisters. They need a best friend program for all us ladies who dont really have one. ou could call a 800 number and they would send one right out to you. She'd bring a chick flick, chocolate, and new shoes she' dpicked up for you at the mall on her way in. That would be too cool.
Video games ARE evil, lol!! But they are, I am discovering, the equivalent of our going out for coffee and shopping....
From the perspective of a pastor whose spouse is basically my right arm, I can tell you that your husbands DO appreciate you. I try to remember to thank DH whenever he steps in and covers for me - but when we have a highly involved spouse, sometimes we just sort of take for granted that they will be there for us. Your husbands would be lost without you, and they do appreciate you. A lot of times, we feel like we have to be this "face" or "image" to the church people, and always remember to say and do the right thing for fear of offending someone. But we can relax more with our spouse, and don't feel like we need to write them a thank-you note or word things just the right way...
I'm not saying that it's right - and I also need to work on being more appreciative of my DH, but I do just want to give you some encouragement that they do love you! I can't imagine being married to someone who doesn't take an interest in my ministry, and I am positive that your spouses feel the same way!
