Since we have had so much discussion about bedrooms and all, I wondered if any one else lets their children sleep with them atleast part of the night and what age to you put them to their own bed and how did you do it? Our 3 and 7 year old will fall asleep in their own bed but one of us has to lay down with them until they fall asleep and 5out of 7 mornings atleast one of them (usually the 7 year old) will come get in bed with us at 4 or 5 am and I will go get in th ebed with the 3 year old. I do get tired of swapping beds in the middle of the night but it isnt a big irritation. Just wondered if anyone else had any ideas. If anything I dont mind having to lay down with them usually takes 15 minutes tops but its the not staying in the bed all night I dont like. I like getting to snuggle with dh (when I was breastfeeding we didnt get to sleep together at all hardly) one with one kid one with the other and a seperate bed to meet in the middle. lol Do any of you have bedroom issues with your kids? when do they outgrow it?
when our kids were younger, we went thru this as well and at the time, i found it very difficult...so did dh. I think my girls were about 3 and 5 when they started sleeping through the night in their own bed. we had bunk beds for them but they wanted to sleep together and as long as they weren't coming out in our room, that was okay with us. I remember we had a heart to heart talk with them one night and told them that they were big girls now and that big girls don't come out into their mommy and daddy's room anymore. (unless of course it was an emergency ie. bad dream etc.) This actually worked. Occasionally, they still came out and one of us would escort them back to their bed, say a prayer with them and go to our own bed again. Sometimes it would have been easier just to let them stay in the bed with us, rather than return them to their own bed but, dh and I really wanted this cycle broken.
So....they slept together in the same bed, up until about a yr ago. My youngest is finally comfortable sleeping in her own room now and would much prefer it. My girls are 10 and 12.
Don't worry..., I know it seems like a far way off, but before you know it, they will be 10 and 12
Yes, my kids have all slept with us. First, please don't feel like it's some terrible thing. Real "old fashioned" type sticklers who were raised in the 50's look at you like, "shame!!!" when they find out, but don't feel bad.
My boys both slept with us part way through the night until they were like 7 or 8. They would start out in their beds, but migrate to ours in the middle of the night. They both grew out of it. They just stopped doing it. But I used to feel bad about it and didn't like to tell too many people because some had an attitude that it's a bad thing, and you must have a terrible marriage (not!), and all that stuff.
Before Savanna was born I read a book by Dr. William Sears (I really like him) and he is a firm believer in allowing your kids to sleep with you if they desire. He says that God created us this way (for children to desire to be with their mothers) and that in other cultures this is that they do. Only in America are people discouraged from it. He believes it's an important part of mother/infant bonding and thinks it's actually harmful to never allow your child to sleep with you. Reading that book really empowered me to not feel bad about it. Dr. Sears has raised like 8 really great, emotionally healthy kids.
I allowed Savanna to sleep with us from the beginning. After about a year she wanted to start out sleeping in her bed. But she would always come to us at some point in the night. As for now she starts out in her own bed but usually ends up with us by 3 or 4 in the morning. Most times I just make a little bed with her blankets and pillows on the floor so dh and I have more room. I know in the next year or two she will outgrow it like the boys did and that will be that.
I don't feel I'm a bad parent to do this, in fact I'm so glad I did!!! It doesn't affect your intimate life, btw. Dr. Sears was saying that to say that, you would have to infer that couples are only intimate in the evening. There are lots of other times/choices. Second, usually our kids came to us in the middle of the night anyway so it really didn't affect us in that way.
Sometimes I do sleep with Savanna til she falls asleep, then put her in her own bed.
I just feel like there's too many things in parenting that you have to be strict about. Choose your battles carefully. If you are not uncomfortable with it, then don't sweat it. Don't let others pressure or what society might say cause you to conform, if you feel okay with it. The kids are only little for so long.
I agree with Deanna. Although this was something that dh and I really did not want happening in our home, it doesn't mean that it is a bad thing. It's just that with our schedules at that time, we really needed a full night's sleep and that time alone together. Often that was the only time we could get alone together, so to have one of our little ones coming out in the middle of the night was very difficult...we both were working full and part-time jobs just to make ends meet at that time before we came into full time ministry and we were exhausted, to say the least.
But if you are not bothered by it and it isn't affecting your relationship with your dh, you shouldn't worry about what the right age is for them to stop coming into your bed....children do grow out of it.
I can see the needing a good night's sleep thing. We sometimes just need more "space." We just have a queen size bed. There are times, we just aren't comfortable with her squeezed in, the bigger she gets. So, we generally cuddle with her for a few minutes, then put her on her little space on the floor next to the bed. Sometimes I hold her hand for a minute or two and then she slips back off to sleep.
