Hey - here's another good one. I just came back from hairdresser with a new haircut. it's pretty much what I always get this time of year - shorter layers. Well - dh just flat out said "What did you do?? I hate it!" he said I looked like Ellen DeGeneres too. I know he loves me, etc, but that really hurt me. My kids even said it too. Such a kind group of people eh. Everyone later apologized and said it will grow in a month. Oh well!
Its not hair cuts making me feel ugly tonight. We had a short prayer meeting tonight for my husband and others that are headed to China on a "business trip". Any way, the relationship between dh and I and the former pastors is pretty good. THey by no means want to keep it but they do want to go to church there for right now. And we have been doing things together and all. SO its ok. Thats not my point. (I didnt want you to think she is trying to make me feel this way. Its all me) But she came in looking so pulled together. Cute jeans button up shirt cute heels. Makeup. And i have on black capris and white half way dressy tank top and flip flops. Little to no makeup after the long day and hair pulled back in a ponytail. So I automatically felt intimidated. How can I make myself feel like dressing up!? I know I need to do that right off the bat here. How can I stay motivated to not leave the house with out looking good? It helps none that I have almost no clothes and that is no exaggeration. I have either outgrown stuff or it just isnt me anymore and I got rid of it. What should motivate me? Howcan I want to look good?
I think you have to come to a point where you realize that YOU'RE WORTH IT.
You really are.
So please will you go get yourself an outfit that you really love (something casual but nice like you described) and put it on and tell yourself (even out loud in the mirror) how absolutely great you are.
Please do not be intimidated anymore. Break out, and start believing who God says you are. You do not need to apologize for spending money on yourself, nor doing things that make you feel pretty. Before you can really love others, you must love yourself! (Remember Jesus talked about loving our neighbor as ourself?) Too many of us do not love ourselves nor consider ourselves worthy of looking nice.
My biggest weight loss issue has not been morbid obesity...because I'm not morbidly obese. It was the idea that I was not attractive, and that my figure was what made me that way. Yes, I have some weight that I could lose...that I am working on losing.
But before I could address the health issue, I needed to make up my mind to be free of the self-loathing! I needed to believe that I am one hot number, even at a size 18 (Gasp! Am I actually putting my REAL size out there on the Internet? YES!!). Without being crude, I have a chest that most women I know envy, and that my husband absolutely loves! And no matter how much weight I lose, it's not getting any smaller (because it is pretty much the size it was when I did weigh what I was supposed to...). I have thick, wavy hair that's getting longer and will eventually be thick, curly hair...huge expressive brown eyes (I used to call them my 'cow eyes,' now I call them my 'theatrical eyes.')...clear skin with only an occasional breakout...and a whole bunch of other features that I started thinking of in a positive manner.
Start calling yourself gorgeous, even if you don't feel like you are. People will believe about 99% of what you tell them. So if you tell them you're gorgeous, they'll believe you. It sounds ridiculous, but it really does work! Even on husbands...
Walk tall, walk proud, and be a "presence" when you walk into a room. Remember that bad hair days and fat days are just that - days - that's why we have barrettes, bandanas, and fat clothes .
As I told my husband, "You're hot, because I wouldn't have married an ugly man." We're all gorgeous, because God created us, and He wouldn't create someone in HIS image if we were ugly.
I agree. I have grown from a comfy 10/12 after having second child to 14 form just comfort eating. And letting that go and eating when I am only truly hungry is hard in my own strength. But its not just weight. I used to would NEVER leave the house with out make up on and nice clothes. But I have just let my self go and you see it in pictures and home videos. You are like, "Do I really look that bad!?"
I dont paint my nails anymore, yet I have started getting regular haircuts. DH likes that. He wants me to be a little more higher maintenance though he doesnt want me to be what I call just super "fru fru". I wear silver hoop earings. ( I have to make myself wear more jewelry than that) but I have been opening back up to the shoe thing I used to have.Been finding cute shoes at consignment shops and such. I have been buying things in color, not just black and more black and khaki. And though my budget is still pretty much on a clearance rack/Goodwill level, I am ok with that and still finding cute things and have even been buying some new things at Walmart here and there. And I do mean here............................and there. lol Its a start for me. I have been used to buying the kids things for so long and not me. (Dh is just as bad!) Our budgets have had no breathing room except for yard sales and stuff. I heard Joyce Meyer tell that in her testimony the other day and that helped me. GOd definately meets our need like that. I racked up the other day for my little one with all name brand stuff in great shape for like a buck and outfit. And I got new adidas sneakers (which I desperately needed for $3) so I love nice yard sales too. But I hardly even bought myself stuff at those is my point.
I think part of it is with me, I feel invisible if I dont look "flashy" in my own eyes. Like I go unnoticed. Yet that is in my own imagination. I am getting noticed for looking frumpy!!! Better flashy than frumpy!!Ugh!
I just dont know why I let myself get lazy with my appearance. Another reason may be I am "dont have time" mode. I never thought it was frivolous before kids. I dont know why I have become a martyr in that area in the past few years. I need to work that into my routine and not sleep until the last minute and then jump up, do the ponytail thing and be ragged all day. It really doesnt take that long I guess some of us slip into thinking that is too much time to spend on us. Here is some confession though....(gulp) I have even been letting my kids wear whatever too. Who cares. That is so bad of me. I should care what they look like in public even if I dont me. Does that make me sound horrible? I have just gotten down right lazy! Or just too busy with the wrong stuff. Wrong priorities. Sigh........
I think tonight I will soak a little longer in the tub, do a facial mask, shave my legs and paint my nails. Even if its only clear coat. And I am going to take my vitamins. ANd my pill which I have forgotten the past two nights. (Hey there's been no need to remember!!lol)
Missing DH!!! Needing adult conversation!!!!! Alone in Arkansas!!!!!!!!!
(because it is pretty much the size it was when I did weigh what I was supposed to...). I have thick, wavy hair that's getting longer and will eventually be thick, curly hair...huge expressive brown eyes (I used to call them my 'cow eyes,' now I call them my 'theatrical eyes.')...clear skin with only an occasional breakout...and a whole bunch of other features that I started thinking of in a positive manner.
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