Just pray a prayer for me. Too personal to put on my blog...and I don't want a bunch of people in my church asking what's wrong. It has nothing to do with the church, it's personal...home stuff. You know the stuff we just don't talk about to our people.
Just 'happened' to sign on...I haven't in ages. Saw your post. Praying right now.
Karen
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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Hi Deanna I just came on to see what your website was all about and see if I could find a safe place for pastor's wife - I can tell I found that. I'll be praying. I really want to talk to you some time when you have time -- And I am praying
Thank you ladies. I appreciate it so much. It means the world.
Lynn, I'd love to talk to you sometime.
Anyway to further elaborate a little (I still have to be careful -- our people know I have this website although many of you are on here incognito) so I still watch some of what I say...
Anyway, we are teaching a series right now on marriage/family at the church for the month of February. Every time we do that, or I have to speak somewhere else on this issue, what happens? You guessed it...ATTACK from the enemy. You know I'm sure, because it happens to you too.
My dh and I had a fight this morning. The day did not start off good at all. It was over a personal matter that is something that we both feel strongly about and I don't believe either of us should have to change our minds on, and it escalated into an argument and I'm sure both our feelings are hurt now.
Sometimes we do not share the same views on things and with some things I think that's okay. I don't try to change him but I feel he still tries to change me even on matters where I should not have to sway or change to his side of things. I still feel that in being true to myself somewhat I should be able to retain my beliefs on something...I mean, imagine if your husband said, "I like vanilla ice cream, therefore we both now must like vanilla and you must forget about chocolate ..." It would be VERY difficult not to mention I believe incredibly stupid. By the way this issue has NOTHING to do with the church or ministry, or even our children. It is not something where he is wanting to go a direction with our church or family and I am opposed. This is really a personal thing solely between us, where I have my belief, he has his and I think to him it is unacceptable and he feels I am wrong and must come to his side on it.
For instance, have you ever had a disagreement with your husband over what you believe about politics, theology, etc? I mean let's say you believe in capital punishment, he doesn't but instead of just agree to disagree he basically demands you must believe his way. I am fine with him believing his way, I just don't want him to try to change my viewpoint on the matter or force me to come his way. On some things I think each person reserves their own right to their opinion. My dh is pretty bullheaded about this issue we were arguing about and honestly it hurts my feelings. The difficulty is, he would not want me to share my opinion at all publicly on it since he believes differently than me...which is hard. I'm not talking about from the pulpit...I mean even just talking with an individual. I don't want it to tear us apart but at the same time I also don't want to morph into somebody I'm not.
I know I'm rambling but I hope it's making sense without me laying out the issue here in more detail. I just need prayer. My feelings are hurt.
Sometimes I really wonder if it's really possibly to be married and not totally lose yourself...
A few leaders at my church (close friends) and I were talking about some of the same things.One of them is married, the other is not. But we decided that although marriage is important, we still must be to be true to God, His calling on your life, and who He created us to be. I know first hand the battles of this. My dh has something that we bicker about, and as said, it can get heated and escalate. This time around (this past Monday) was the worst it had been. I was so mad at him, let me tell you! I was ready to put more rings on my fingers!! But, later when we both had cooled off, I told him it wasn't so much the anger as it was him treating me the way he did. I do not deserve that type of treatment, yelling, screaming, etc. Those times are rare, but they do wear you away to the very core. DH is wonderful, yet I need to stand, pray and be who God has called me to be.
Father,
Touch PD heart right now. Let her rest in your arms. Wrap your arms around her. You are the lover of her soul, and will never let her go. Dance with her father, to your Song of Love. Show her strength of your arms, the beat of your heart and hold her against your chest. Let her rest in you father. I rebuke stress and the spirit of diversity over her and her relationship with her DH. In Jesus Name, I speak peace and restoration. Holy Spirit, be their comfort and counselor, let there be give and take, resolution, and bind them to you Father. In Jesus Name.
I love you Deanna, know you are in my prayers daily!
Thank you ladies...Autumn Rose, what you said and your prayer means so much. It's nice to know someone understands.
Trace, thank you.
My dh was raised very different than me, first of all. Which is fine.
Second I think people change over the years which is not only fine, it's good unless it's something unGodly. We got married at 19. I should say we've changed a lot and what is hard for me sometimes is, he doesn't flow so well with those changes although with this issue we fought about, I've always believed this way.
As I grow and learn, I change and something I might have had a belief on years ago, I don't after 20 years. I guess I just want that to be okay or both of us. But when he has something in his head.......
My hubby loves to stick to what he nows. Change on anything scares him half to death, even if it is something he needs to unlearn, in order to go on with God's calling. I agree, I have only been married five years, but I see the changes in us both. Most for good, not all though are good. It may seem something small to others, but for me, it is not. I just know that I can change me, and let God work on him and his wonderfully stubborn ways! LOL.
I like what Cindy Trimm said in her book, "Commanding Your Morning":
"According to Jeremiah 29:11, God does not start a thing without knowing the outcome-He begins every word with the end in mind. Since He already knows the end from the beginning. He must know everyting inbetween. Discover His will as He speaks to your heart and mind, and then legislate His will in the earthy realm through daily declartions."
Wasn't on the boards yesterday but I want you to know I totally understand you. We too have had some nasty arguments lately about personal things where we see diferently on things. I refuse to change my view point just to make piece. I have agreed to see it from his perspective but have told him he has to try to see it from mine. There have been a few times that has helped me understand the situation differently although still had not changed my stand. I am praying for you!
Melissa
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
My husband and I have had similar issues. Ours, I dont care to say, has alot to do with women and men and equality! Not necessarily in the church even, just as in god's sight. it's not that we probably even see things that differently, its just we cant even get started talking about it...he acts scared I'm gonna get "way out there" and liberal and I am just trying to be a whole, free person in God and it usually ends with us totally disagreeing....it is hard to not lose yourself.....something I know I do not see eye to him on (endtimes is one doctrinal issue we are/ or seem to be on opposite sides on) that we just dont discuss them. I keep my opinion to myself. and it's hard cause it makes you feel "not one" and being one is the goal right? I just want you to know I understand and its hard not being able to vent....in leadership it seems you have to bury so much.....that's why this board means so much. Its been my safe place for several years now......
