My dh and I got radically saved over 25 years ago. I was a teen who's family didn't go to church. Therefore, I did not know the "ugly side" (for lack of a better word) of church people. It wasn't until ministry that I learned of church politics or habits that are accepted but not really "right". For instance, people who put expectations on PK's or deacon kids that don't seem well-rounded with all the other kids in mind too.
My lastborn son is at a private school that is not Christian but moral. He was corrected in Assembly for being too boisterous and they assumed insincere after a student sang and he yelled out: Encore! When he was turning in his referral to the principal another teacher walked by. She said, "Hey, good looking. What are you in trouble for?" Another teacher chimed in "He's a preacher's kid too!" and the principal said: Oh! They're the worst!"
Have you found an effective way to deal with this type of unfair treatment? Have you found something that helps your kid deal with this? This seems to be a commonly accepted thing in church circles that I totally disagree with and think it falls in the category of silly talk or idle words (Eph 4,5). Why is it so commonly accepted? Does it edify or build up the hearer? In the case of my son, it provokes him to anger and by the look on his face ...it hurts.
Mom's or CP's talk to me! I am going to talk to the new principal whom was involved in the pk remarks. I covet your prayers and I encourage your input. I have an exam out of town tomorrow. Therefore, this will not be dealt with until next school week. What are your insights?
P.S. He is one whom has not had behavioral problems but rather academic (particularly language arts). He also is very athletic and a great skateboarder. I do not want him to be discouraged or not try his hardest. Would you please pray for him? I have to decide where to school him for HS and he really needs to leave this school on a good note. Please pray like you would for your own child? Thanks bunches ladies.
Definately praying! Thankfully we are in a church and have been in churches that have not put the label "PK Kid" on our kids. Our kids go to the local elementary and as of yet we have not had any comments of the sort. Personally we tell our congregation that our kids are off limits. If they want to make a comment about us that is one thing but if it is about our kids and negative they better be prepared to deal with us. We stress all the time that our kids are just like other kids. What ever rules we have for the other children at church is reinforced even more so with our by us. We stress to those that work with them to treat them the sme way as others. I would be pretty upset with the teacher and principle. I would not go alone, make your DH go with you. They need to be put in their place. It's my understanding that all children have the right to go to school where they are safe physically and emotionally. These are professionals and they have not acted professionally. Will be praying!
Meliss
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
I agree with smkelly - that type of comment is completely uncalled for!
My policy in kids' church is that all kids are equal - no one gets special treatment (negative OR positive!)...pastors' kids, leaders' kids, whoever!
The best thing YOU can do is treat your kids the same as you would if you were in any other job. I know the ministry ISN'T "any other job," but your kids should not be expected to be better or worse than the rest of the kids in the church. Encourage them to know God and experience Him - absolutely! Encourage them to behave? Duh - that goes for ANY parent.
It really makes me sad when I see leaders and fellow staff members in our church telling their kids that they can't participate in a contest, because if they won, it would "look bad." Or not wanting their kids to get a lead role in the Christmas musical for the same reason.
I'm sorry - if a kid works hard, they deserve to reap the benefits - no matter who their parents are!
And that type of attitude starts at the top - if people know that Mom and Dad won't put up with any of that "he's a PK" garbage, then they'll be less quick to judge. But I agree - you definitely need to speak with that school - that is absolutely unacceptable behavior!
Update- Since four vital characteristics for the Christian Life are forebearance, meekness, humility and patience, I decided to "ask questions" about the Pk comments as opposed to being accusatory of the administration. Then on the slip that I had to sign, I shared that in the context of the situation those type of comments were unprofessional and irrelevant to the issue at hand. If we are trying to correct a child about his mouth, we should control ours! Anyway, I left it at that and still did "take aways" at home to teach my son to be more self controlled.
Thank you for your input. My sons are really great teens and I don't want them to be discouraged by capricious use of authority or a series of petty corrections. The firstborn has already expressed that when people put these type of comments or unrealistic expectations on a PK , it almost makes the child want to do worse. It pushes them away from the church. An armorbearer/prayer warrior friend of mine said that she breaks off those word curses and believes they are the tool of the enemy in church circles. She grow up in church and says those type of comments and judgements were just routine and acceptable. She always felt it was wrong of people and prayed against it for my kids so that they can be given space to grow and room to breathe like all kids! Many times just holding people accountable in a non-emotional manner will fix the problem. My dh & I had to do that with a male-chauvanist pastor while serving in his church. He never "admitted" his problem but accountability changed his behavior toward me!
Talk to me more Moms! I am surprised how few on this board really share when it comes to kiddo's!
