Thanks for the nitty gritty this month. It was very encouraging to me personally. There is nothing in this world like being in God's perfect will and I am daily thankful for having a husband that encourages me in my calling.
I'm glad it was a blessing to you. I received a few e-mails from others already on the first day it was up, saying that it really came for them at a needed time. Well, that's what the site is here for -- to encourage and motivate in staying true to the call. I am so blessed to know it's a blessing!
I am also truly thankful for that word from the Lord in this month's Nitty Gritty. Once again, you did get down to the Nitty Gritty. There are a lot of good things that we could be doing, but none of that could measure up to fulfilling God's calling upon our lives.
This was truly a perfect time for me to really focus in on my call and my devotion to live it out. Many times I feel that when I am giving my all to do what God has called me to do , that is when I feel very misunderstood. It is so good to know that I have connected with some sisters in Christ who are of kindred spirit.
Thanks for all that each of you bring to this forum. It is such a breath of fresh air.
Deanna...wow...as I fight to keep myself from completely breaking down at my desk...let me just say again...wow...I am fully convinced that God had you write that just for me!
Let's just say I've been struggling. Knowing that as a children's pastor, I am in demand and I could go anywhere I wanted to go and make a more than adequate full time salary. And I believe I will someday. Knowing that my DH is struggling with trying to get a business up and running, and I'm working as a full time children's ministry director (soon to be children's pastor!) at a tiny church that can't really pay me very much right now. That has never had a children's pastor and doesn't quite understand what I'm there to do. Not to mention working as a full time administrative assistant at a college because bills still need to be paid. Needless to say, I don't get a day off very often!
But the simple fact remains that God has called me to be where I am right now. And He will give me the strength to do what I need to do.
And I spent enough time out of the will of God (He called me to be a children's pastor when I was 15 years old. I didn't answer Him until I was 26!) to know that I am miserable there and I'm not going back. No matter how tempting the offer, I must stay in His will and trust that He has a Divine plan for my life.
Thanks for the encouragement, Deanna! You really hit the nail on the head .
One thing that Lady T rememded me of that I am dealing with.... discouragement by others. I have a family member that is so negative. I love her and respect her so much that when she says something discouraging it really takes me back. For some reason it seems like every time I am moving forward in my ministry this happens. My husband and I had a long talk about it this week and I am needing to step away for awhile from the negative influence. It is hard because when I was growing up she was the Godly influence in my life. I have not been willing to admit that since then her spiritual walk has absolutely changed and she is no longer walking in that position.
Thanks Spiritled -- I actually needed to be reminded of that today. Part of putting our hand to the plow and not looking back is to shut our ears to negative comments. And they do come on a regular basis - if we let them.
Life can get discouraging for us sometimes because we ladies are actually out there doing something! So we are a threat to the devil. He doesn't have to get on a woman's back who is just not doing anything or is a threat to him. So it's no wonder why the pastoring partner is often under the fire of attack, criticism, negativity, etc.
Thankfully I am serving in a really loving church. I have that to buoy me even when things happen here and there. I remember when I didn't have that and boy those days were hard. It makes me so appreciate what I have now. When you are dealing with something and you are in a negative church environment it is almost unbearable to the soul sometimes.
I dealt with something today that was not pleasant and were it not for the love of God, and remembering that my church people love me too...well, I'd want to go drown myself in a hot fudge sundae today! (But I won't.) By the way girls, I've lost 20 pounds recently!
Deanna - WTG on your weight loss!!! That's 80 sticks of butter gone forever!
I'm learning to shut out other people's negative comments. A lot of the ones I hear are just plain out of ignorance. Like the one that just got back to me recently that the reason we don't have our numbers up in kids' ministry is because I live 1/2 hour away from the church and I need to live in the community and spend more time reaching out and recruiting kids.
Well...actually, I've done a great job recruiting kids. Older kids. The ones who are allowed to hop on a bus by themselves and come to church.
As I patiently pointed out, it is the job of every church member to recruit FAMILIES...that's where we're going to build up our numbers of smaller kids. I would have serious doubts about a parent who just let their 3 to 5 year old jump on a bus alone and go to some unknown location!
And the other part of the equation is, right now I live 1/2 hour from my church because I live 10 minutes from my job that provides my gainful employment. There is nothing in the community in which the church is located that would pay me enough, or be as flexible as my amazing supervisors at NCU who let me take all sorts of time off or play with my schedule for the sake of my ministry!!
Anyway, that's an example of a negative comment that was made out of ignorance. I have learned that people do not say things like that because they hate me as a person. They just have unrealistic expectations of pastors and ministry leaders.
On a very happy note, my senior pastor got a 100% unanimous vote of confidence last Sunday!!! So (assuming he decides to stick around) my job is secure for another three years, lol!
You're right puppetmaster, you know you just have to shut out that kind of stuff, keep your hand on the plow and keep going.
Quite truthfully that is what I have faced most times -- ignorant comments -- people who just "don't know." It is so interesting how there are so many amateurs who want to run the church or think they know how to, or what the answers are to growth. It always makes me want to say, "Oh, since you know so much already, please make it official...go off to bible college, get your credentials, and please by all means go out and get your own church. We bless you, in Jesus name..." Of course those folks don't want to do that, they just want to be armchair psychologists and tell you how to do your job...
Thankfully I have not faced that to any real degree here in Tampa...at least not with anyone who is a serious church attender...you have your flakes that come in for a week or a month and then head off to some other place...(like you have in any church) but our regulars here wouldn't do that or at least haven't done that, PTL. Sad to say though, there were several serious armchair psychologists in my previous church and I seriously wonder why they have not just gone out and opened up their own church but then again they do a good job of keeping a strangulation hold on the church they're already in, and guarantee that no great progress will ever really happen (no real progress at least). So why open another one? Another story...oh well...
Anyway, Puppetmaster you are right, we must just keep our eyes on the call, the prize...and go forward and don't look back. I have something to share in another post that I'm probably going to make it's own thread in just a minute that will probably speak to you as well...
I am not a partner, but I am grateful for the leadership of our PW.
I have seen a situation close to me unravel due the PW not responding to her call. This Pastor is a wonderful man in another state. He thought, as did the flock, that he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, and with God. As the church grew, not huge, but to around 250, so did his responsibilities. He made sure to have family time set aside that was inviolate, and special time with just her. After the kids were gone, she left. She just left! She just did not want the be a PW anymore. And this was a situation where there was lots of help, so it's not like this couple was doing everything in the church. My knee-jerk reaction was to call her selfish.(though, not out loud) And no matter what, he says he still loves her, and will never marry again. It's so sad. He is a wonderful man. And he is alone. It's hurtful to see. it's tough to talk to him, and not think about what she did. I do feel a little sorry for her, because of the blessings she is missing out on. lw
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
An absentee PW is a difficult situation whether it be due to her leaving...or, being married to the pastor but just not coming to church regularly or being involved. It really hurts and scars a congregation and many people do not realize this. Just like children of divorce, sometimes the effects are seen later.
One of my husband's SPW's from his church where he grew up left her husband, not supposedly "divorce" but she left to "go back to college." Very, very, very strange. I mean, she picked up and went to another state and went back to college and left her husband there alone to pastor the church. She was very involved prior, in fact she left for college to study ministry. I find that kind of ironic! I am not talking going to a special class for a month or something, I'm talking 4 years of college! I don't know if she ever came back or not because months later he resigned and I think he went to CA or something. Anyway, my husband said when his wife "went back to college" it totally rocked the church. People were very hurt.
Some really strange things happen in the ministry, don't they?
Well, I'm headed for bed. My dh and I had a wonderful night. After work this evening he suggested I take a drive with him to run some errands so we could have some uninterrupted time to talk in the car. We ended up picking up dinner for the kids and then he said, "why don't we go somewhere by ourselves?" So he took me out to dinner and then we picked up the movie, "Ray" from Blockbuster and just finished watching it. It's really good, if you've never seen it. Amazing performance by Jamie Foxx. You all have probably already seen it - I'm behind on this -- I've just been so busy, have been wanting to see it but just didn't have the chance. Friends have been telling me to get the movie, "Shall We Dance" and we went to rent that one but it's all out at the store. So...maybe later next week.
I just got finished getting Savanna ready for "Pink Day" tomorrow. Her class is doing it. What a thing to do! I had TONS of stuff for her as I'm the queen of pink.
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