yes you read that right. I feel like doing some sheep smacking!This school thing is getting on my last nerve. This is the reason we didnt put our kid there! We had a consultant come in, one that we love and respect, and he explained the tax liability of operating the school. We are not covered for it. So they HAVE to get their own 501C3 unless they want to let the church elder board runthe school. they do NOT want that and neither do the elders. They want the school outta here! So our short term goal is to help them get their own 501. Eventually (midterm goal) get them stable and long term, get hem outta here, off our property. In the mean time, some of these people have their own lil rebelious cult like clique going and its irritating and my hubby came home to a quiet house last night (I had already long ago tucked in the girls for bed) and he said youknow? this is crap. (Sorry thats what he said) I miss telling my girls goodnight for a bunch of people and business (school) that I dont give a rip about. Now....he does give a rip but i bet most of you know exactly what he meant. We would just assume the school leaves. They have made a God out of it. And the consultant knows we could be looking at a church split. And right now, the elders would almost welcome it becuase the ones who would go are the ones who need to go. I dont see how these people can be so hateful and carnal and disrespectful of the pastor and still teach SS and feel spiritual. It reinerates that I can trust NO ONE and better stay behind my wall. I will guard my kids and self at all cost. I know its not right to feel that way but I will not martyr our family over this nonsense. If anyone has advice for my hubby, please pass it on. He told them he was taking a day off to mow, weed eat and be away from the office. Cause he has enough of the office for a few days.
I have about determined this. After much angry frustrated house cleaning thinking hours. THat ministry demands is not what burns pastors out. Its demanding mean people that burn out pastors. Somedays i would like to just call a spade a spade and quit pattycaking people or giving into their demands and trying to keep them happy. :(
Glad to say that the ones with the attitudes are startng to show their true colors and the control issues they have. Keep praying. We are just trying to do the right thing. Here is what is up. We are having to update our 501. Which means for the last 8 years, our church has been operating the school as an nonlegal deal. Which means the IRS would see lots of fines and money cause it would be seen as profit blahblahblah. The school administrator/founder is really, deep down and its starting to show, resenting having to go solo though that is technically what they are. They want not submission to authority no nothing. The school board president has lots of influence with the rest of the school folks and he is fed up with this nonsense as well. So we are gaining ground but its an inch at a time and STRESSFUL!!!!!
I'm just seeing this now or I would have replied much sooner...I realize how stressed you are. You sound just like I did about seven years ago in our previous church with the school issues that absolutely got out of control. I don't have any "solutions" for you other than the fact that I will intercede for you, but I want you to know I do understand. You are not alone.
People get nutty about schools. I have tried to figure out why. I think it has something to do with the fact that people are ultra sensitive about their kids, for one thing. And they can get so ungodly about it!
It is difficult when a school holds a church hostage, which is basically what you are experiencing.
Post as many times as you need to. I remember feeling so alone, frustrated, having so much to get out and few safe places to take out my anxieties over the issues.
That is unfortunate, though! I am the product of a Christian school that was a ministry of my church for many years. We managed to peacefully coexist (for the most part!), and in fact, the church discovered when the school left the building that a.) their bills (phone, copier, utility, etc) were HIGHER, because the school had always chipped in and paid for some of it, and b.) they had to pay more $$ to the church janitor, because the school (teachers and students...ah, the days of the clothespin chart and the weekly chores!) had done quite a bit of the required cleaning throughout the week.
Still, I know that people can get ugly, and I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. I know our SP was criticized when the school decided to add junior and senior high and he DIDN'T pull his son out of the public school and put him back in the Christian school...whatever! You've got to do what's best for YOU - and if the school won't be under the church's authority, then they need to be their own entity. Period. Otherwise it doesn't work.
If I was the queen of the world, I'd wave my magic wand and all the dumb people would disappear!!! And I agree - it' s not the demands of the ministry that get us down, but disagreeable people. Mentally smacking some sheep for you :o).
If only it could work that smooth.....right now they cost us more than they give. They want no financial accountability. They turn over no records, no nothing. Get ill if its even mentioned. Ugh. thanks for your prayers. We are just trying to not let this trouble and these people invade every waking moment of our thinking time, family time, etc. It is hard. ministry spills over into everything and every conversation. Mean, controlling people make you second guess yourself and your leadership ability....especially when you are young and you know its an issue. Hubby says he will never have another school. He totally sees Larry's point.
Ok so now these hateful people are sending each other emails mocking my husband and one of them accidentally got forwarded to my husbands church email and it makes me angry! he sent them an email letting them know he saw it but it makes me want to call them on it and tell them to quit acting all nie to me on Sunday and yet your gonna treat my husband like garbage. I.Dont.Think.So.
Cassandra, You husband needs legal help to back him. Contact the Christian Law Association ASAP. I will try to get that # for you if you have no success. Frankly, if the IRS stepped in your dh if he's the Senior Pastor is the one who would be accountable and charged if laws have been broken. It's very much his business and place to make sure things are on the up and up narrow path. This is serious if you really believe that things have been illegally handled. You'll have to be wise and harmless at the same time. DON'T REACT. God can give you the inner grace to do this but keep in mind it is your family who they will come looking for (IRS/Law) therefore, vent here if you must but hang in there prayerfully keeping your cool. Contact CLA for free legal advice for SP's.
Lastly, it is common for schools to be a headache for pastors! A very successful church down the street has FLAT OUT REFUSED A SCHOOL THERE due to all the fuss! And parents can have such double standards if it pertains to their "angel". I found that out with a neighbor!
Fortunately we have a professional consultant that all he does is 501C3 work that is saving our neck. He told the church board that the secretary of theboard is who the IRS would look to but that we are mostly just subject to nonfiling fees. The school is really the ones who are looking at the most fines (for basically bringing income that they have not paid taxes on) so they should be grateful to have this brought to light before the government found it. But are they> NO! They see it as my husbands fault for teaming up with the big mean ugly church board and picking on them. This school is literally a golden cow to a select few of the founding people and its wearing on us. But fortunately we are going to bring it before the whole congregation and let them know the deal (cautiously, not alarmingly) so noone get inaccurate information about our purposes in the school going independant.
