I have wanted to write and ask for some advice and guidance on something but have waited till I felt I knew for sure about the situation. So here goes.... This will be a bit long but I hope once I explain you can help or at least pray for us.
Ther is a young man "Rick" who is 15 in our church. When we started as the pastors about a year and half ago, Rick was into some strange stuff. He was faithful to come to Sunday School but would leave after rarely staying for service. He family started attending and he would stay for the main service about 2xs a month. He instantly took to me coming to me for prayer, just to talk about home life ect... He opened up and shared that he was also a Wiccan (withc craft) dabbled in dream scaping, and a felt pulled to satanism. About six months later he and his mother told me he burned all of his clothes, books, movies, music, ect... that had anything to do with those things. He accepted Jesus Christ as his savior and was baptised shortly there after. Now this young man has always been a little femine, to the point I wondered but tried to think the best. Not being nieve but hopeful. I wondered alot about his sexual orientation but just kept praying. After a year I felt that I could no longer stand by and wonder. So I gentle confronted him...let me explain there had been many talks before this about relationships, what scripture states about homosexuality ect. He was removed from leadership NOT harshly. I simple asked him if he was leading a pure and holy life and he stepped down....He was my greatest helper in children's church. In the last few months he has come to me and admitted his homosexuality. He tells me that it is not a choice and that he has "felt" this way since he was 4 yrs old. He has told his parents and now that he is in high school does not feel that he should have to hide how he feels. It is tearing me up inside. I honestly believe that his childhood experiences and the abuse (physcial and sexual) has affected him greatly. He doesnt feel this way. He has not been in church for 3 months. Our understanding (his telling me) is that his mother accepts him, loves him and is ok with his choices. His step father hates him. Now this is what we have been told by "rick". The parents have not come to us on this and we have no idea if or when we should approach them. I have previously asked for prayer for this family. They have two other boys that cause my grief and heatache in children's church and SS. Those two have gotten a bit better and we are starting to see a bit of a change in them. Honestly this young man has my heart. I pray for him constantly. We have a good relationship and he knows exactly where I stand on this. He also knows that I love him and want the best for him but can not and will not accept his choices. I just don't know what to do, how to do it and help him see how he is grieving the Lord. He tells me that he does love the Lord and wants to live for him and yet he is in a relationship with another young man. Please pray for us. If you all know of a ministry, a book or have experience or advice about this very real problem many churches are facing please share. This is by far one of the toughest situations I have been in ministry wise. I'm just at a loss for words. My dh has no idea what to do either. He does not have the kind of relationship with "rick" that I have and really feels that the Lord will use me to minister to him has I have been able to do in the last year. Ladies I need you on this...please pray for deliverance for this precious young man.
thanks!
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
Praying too before I say too much. This is unfortunately a more common issue than we'd all like to admit. I haven't dealt with it yet in the church, but have had former co-workers, etc., who would say God made them this way, etc. Sadly, this is the world we live in today, where homosexualty is becoming more and more accepted in society. We truly ARE the minorities now for preaching against it (as any type of sexual sin).
I look forward to the others' response with more experience than me. But I am praying for you, and also for this precious young man.
Wanted to add: there are many more wiccans (witches) among us than we'd like to realize as well.
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
Whether we want to admit it or not, the homosexual community is a subculture. And, like any culture or subculture, there are certain rules for approaching them and effectively witnessing to them.
I would recommend that you take a look at information that Sy Rogers has available (just Google his name!). Sy is a minister and counselor who once identified as a homosexual - he actually lived as a woman for two years! - before God got ahold of his life.
I have heard him speak several times, and I highly recommend his website, resources, etc.
I will say to keep doing what you're doing - just love him the same way you'd love anyone who is dealing with any sin! The sad thing about homosexuality is that the majority of the time, people who identify with that culture do so because of loneliness, rejection, abuse, or a number of negative factors.
[This, by the way, is why I am not in favor of gay marriage. My marriage is great, and will remain great and blessed by God whether or not two men or two women get to get married. But a wedding ceremony is a celebration of something good - why would we condone and celebrate the fact that someone is acting out of their hurt and pain? We might as well throw parties and say, "Yay! You've been bulimic for another year," or "Congrats on the alcoholism!"]
The #1 thing to keep in mind is that those who call themselves gay are people who Jesus died on the cross for. He wants to see them in heaven just as much as he wants to see you, me, or Billy Graham!
I have many people close to me who struggle or have struggled with same-sex attraction (some are still struggling and identifying as gay; others have rejected that label and love and serve Jesus with all their hearts!), so this issue is very near and dear to my heart.
Seriously - check out Sy's stuff - you won't be sorry!!!
Lots of prayer and wisdom from the Bible as well as Exodus International and Dr. Dobson has lots of helps too. There is great deception concerning this and there's even "pentecostal" gay churches (go figure) but standing by God's word and still loving them is key. Nevertheless, don't be afraid to confront when imperative! Praying for you.
I can't thank you enough for all the good insight and options to look into. Unfortunately this young man has stopped going to church all together. It breaks my heart. His folks are continuing to come and have even decided to participate on our churchs 30 day Daniel Fast. We are hoping for a great out pouring of God's spirit. I am believing that God will restore and heal this young man and deliver him from the false beliefs he has right now about his "life style" He has come to talk and shared he is in a relationship ... wasnt sure what to say to him. I stressed no matter what he is to keep it pure. Which ok I know sounds weird since the relationship is with the same sex. But it is something I would say to him even if it was witht he opposite sex. i just have never been in this situation. I know God is going to give me great insight into how to minister to him and his family. Thanks agin ladies! Wow what would I do without this wonderful group of women!
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
The best thing, and the only thing, to do now is to pray... pray for his protection, and that the Holy Spirit will convict him and open his eyes and heart to the truth. Keep us posted!
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
I wish I could say I have fantastic news....Well he did come to church yesterday. But he also came by Friday and Sat. just to talk. He told me point blank that he loves "God" but his view of God is not according to the Bible. It's according to his beliefs he grew up being taught by his granma...who is very involved in the Wiccan beliefs. I just let him talk and I asked questions inbetween. Still not sure exactly what he truely believes. I do know that he has gone back to his wiccan beliefs. He told me his hunger for "my" God is no longer a desire for him. I asked him if it is because he has chosen a homsexual lifestyle. He told me that it is hard for him to believe that the God that created him this way would sentence him to death and hell. He truely believes he was created this way. He shared that even from a young age he was always attracted to others of the same sex. He said it got him into so much trouble as a young child. I asked him if he has had any couseling and he said he is completely happy with himself and his life. Just heart breaking. I spent most of Sat. morning praying for him and for some answers because I have felt like I have failed him in some way expressing God's love and trueth with him. I believe the Lord lead me to Ezekiel 33. It discusses being a watchman and what the Lord showed me is that first off we are all watchmen. We are to blow the trumpet (warning) and speak the trueth to the people. If we don't we will have God's wrath on us where as if those that are warned do not heed the warning then the wrath falls on them. I have realized I can only speak the trueth and show "Rick" God's unfailing love it is truely up to him what he does with it. I knew this but I guess we all need to be reminded this. Please keep praying for him and me. I am thankful that GOd has opened this door to minister to him. What is interesting is that in the past I have had other men and women cross my path. Mainly through working situations. I was talking to my DH and told him I need to really start reading and doing more research on this subject and what the Bible has to say since it seems that the Lord brings these types of people into my life. I do not believe in chance meetings, I believe God ordains them. So keep pressing forward! Melissa
ps side note, please continue to pray for my knee. I am still having a lot of swelling and pain, it is healing well from the surgery but I haefv a long road of therapy ahead of me...I am still standing on God's word that says "By His strips I AM HEALED!"
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"How can I keep from Praising Your Name, How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your Love!"
Well the devil isn't going to let him go that easily. But we will continue to war in prayer for this young man's soul... and your knee! We ALL need to be ready to minister to those in the homosexual lifestyle, as it is so prevalent in our society today. And sadly, witchcraft is much more prevalent that any of us would like to think about... but it's all around us. We must continue to be that light, in love, but also the warning voice as well.
Praying in agreement for all these issues...
Sister Robin
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
I was a witch for ten years, and also bisexual (and a few other things along the way) ... now, by the grace of God, I've been delivered and set free from all of that. I founded ExWitch Ministries (http://www.exwitch.org) in 2001, and although the Lord led me to pass the torch to another, the ministry remains an excellent resource for Christians who are ministering to anyone involved in the occult. I'm also happy to answer questions. We could open a thread on this board, or you can email me (kathi@iamhealed.net).