Okay, this is a tough one. This precious young lady has been coming on Wednesday nights for several months. Very interested, asking questions, etc. I gave her a new bible for Christmas, and she was thrilled.
She just found out that she is about 5 weeks pregnant. Here's the worst part: the father is not only MY best friend's son, he is not yet divorced yet from his wife. They have been seperated almost a year (divorce takes a full 12 months in NC), and there is no chance of reconciliation. Neither are Christians, sadly. Russell has been seeing this sweet girl since about November. He is excited about the pregnancy, but my goodness - they couldn't get married if they wanted to!
She has been e-mailing me for prayer. He wants her to move into his house now. She is so afraid but loves him so much. It's a mess.
Pray that God will help me advise her according to His Word, and yet show her the love of Christ. We have been praying for Russell's salvation for a long time. Perhaps this could be the turning point for him, but he has a long way to go.
Prayers and advice are welcome!!
In His service, Robin
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
Wow, this is a "mixed up situation" for sure (with the divorce not final and so forth) BUT...here's the thing in my opinion...
You are dealing with an unbeliever (Russell) and a brand new believer (the young girl) and first of all if you get any "comments" on this from the church people I would simply bring up that this is what you have to expect when ministering to unbelievers or young believers. They come in with messy situations. Ministering to the unchurched or the newly churched is MESSY!
I admire you, Sis. Robin, for taking this young woman under your wing and helping her. It's the kind of thing all of us should be doing.
I know there are so many difficult issues we face in ministry today. I am ministering to a girl who says she's having an affair with a local pastor but he has a stronghold on her and it's been difficult to get her to break it off for good! Even though she's under great conviction.
When it comes to pastoral ministry, legally, we can't tell people what to do or give advice unless we are licensed counselor. We can only point them to God's word and let the Holy Spirit open their eyes... We can continue to teach them the Bible and pray. What does the Bible say about: Unequal yokes? Living together? Premarital sex? Marriage and divorce? We can start there with the young girl since she's the Christian and would want to know. Teaching people to have a biblical world view is part of discipling. We are in a 60 day challenge whereby the congregation is reading or listening to the New Testament on tape. People are really growing and services have been awesome because God's word is being exalted. Through this, I realize how many Christians do not really know what the NT says re: practical life. Christianity is a lifestyle.
Is Russell responsive when you witness to him? Perhaps he'll get saved soon. Keep on him.
I currently have friend in the almost same situation. She is almost done in the seperation stage and had a beautiful baby girl. The father is one of our bus pastors, who is a Christian.
They confessed their situation, asked people for forgiveness, and are doing it right. He bought her a house to live in until she can finish her divorce. He is there for his daughter and is faithful to her and the church. We were very suprised at this situation, but stood with her. She was scared that when people found out that we would make her leave. The oppisite happened, we opened our hearts and arms to her, gave her a shower, prayed with her and she is doing great! Jesus never chased anyone away, those who did leave were either sad that they could not leave their riches, too proud with their work, or full of themselves. Those that Christ did ask to leave were the Pharisees, and the enemy.
So with that like mind, we approach every situation with wisdom, love and open arms!!
You've already received wonderful acvice, so I'll just add this: Keep loving that couple. One needs the Lord and doesn't need rejection. The other needs the Lord.
I've taken the girl into my confidence. She is in such a difficult position. She confides in me because my best friend of course is Russell's mother. Russell treats her terribly. And no, he is completely closed-minded to any "religious talk". Doesn't want to hear it. Doesn't think a loving God would let all these bad things happen in his life (other stories, not the pregnancy). Refuses to accept responsibility for anything that has brought alot of his issues on himself.
Thanks for your prayers. She only comes to church on Wednesday nights when Russell is out of town working. He is home on the weekends, and she is with him then. She isn't strong enough yet to leave him to come to church on Sunday, although she keeps saying she knows she needs to be there. Her hope is that she will convince him to join her... but so far neither of them come on Sunday. I'm hoping for Easter next weekend, but not holding my breath.
We have a long road ahead... thanks for your wisdom and prayers.
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
Today she went to the doctor... he tells her she has miscarried. The father (my friend's son) is accusing her of never being pregnant to start with - thinks she faked the whole thing. He has reasons to be suspicious- lots of things don't make total sense. But I would hate to believe this young girl would have gone this far with something like that. And my heart goes out to her... to both of them.
My friend who would have been a grandmother, says she doesn't know whether to be angry (if it was a lie), or to be grieving over losing a grandchild.
Thanks for your prayers. May our Lord be glorified and have His way in all of this.
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
The father (my friend's son) is accusing her of never being pregnant to start with - thinks she faked the whole thing. He has reasons to be suspicious- lots of things don't make total sense. But I would hate to believe this young girl would have gone this far with something like that. And my heart goes out to her... to both of them. 
