I'm having a really down day. I need to go listen to my Hillsong worship CD about 10 times to get my mood elevated.
I'm really mad. I don't want to go into detail, not that I don't trust all of you but everyone in my church knows I have this website so...
Anyway, there's someone in the church who keeps pressing for their own way and this has been going on a long time, in a certain area. It doesn't matter how many times my dh or I say, "no, it needs to be like this," they are always re-creating it back into what THEY want it to be. It's like they listen, and then just go right back to what they wante dto do. I feel like we have explained this until we are blue in the face but this person is just dense and won't hear it. Everytime I turn around, they are inching toward getting this particular thing done their way instead of the way dh and I have asked it be done. This has something to do with something I work with closely in the church too so it's personal to me, not just something I really have nothing to do with or don't care about.
It makes me angry and right now I want to just quit the whole thing (not the church but this particular ministry), as if to say, "if it's not my way I'll just quit" however this is one ministry area of the church I really love working in and always have, so I think to myself, why should I be the one to have to stop doing it? It's clear though that in this particular regard it's been nothing but a tug of war and them wanting it this certain way for years...and I don't think it's ultimately going to change. I feel many emotions when I think of it...anger, frustration and even fear. Fear because this area means so much to me and I didn't want to lose my investment in it and what it means to me personally....I fear change.
I'm feeling really angry right now like I want to stay home from church tonight and just watch a LIFETIME movie and leave all this in the dust tonight. But I can't. (I'm the only KB player!)
This is creating tension between dh and I today as well because he can tell I'm really mad about it and when I blow up about it he gets upset (I don't blow up "at him" but in front of him) and the way I handle it vs. the way he does is different...he gets upset when I blow up even if I am not blowing up at him. (I'm not blowing up in front of others either, just when we are in our car, or my office or whatever...)
Will somebody please just pray for me when you read this. I am just feeling really mad and if I had my way rather than even that stupid lifetime movie I'd join one of you for coffee if you lived close enough and just ask you to listen to me for a few minutes. Thank you for listening here, on line.
Father God, In Jesus' Name, I pray for PD. I am asking you to give her a word of wisdom for her situation. Thank you for given her favor with the person (s) involved. I pray you would be with her supernaturally and a special grace will be upon her tonight and every interaction with this individual. AMEN.
Amen I agree Father, Lord please surround this precious friend of mine with people that love and support her. Father send some lady friend to take Deanna for coffee, someone that will uplift her and one whom she trusts to speak into her life. we love you Deanna
You are in my prayers..even though this request was posted 8 days ago, this issue can always seem to chase us no matter what time of year. Something someone told me recently was very powerful........
There has to come an acceptance of the fact that change does not mean subtraction, but rather increased possibilities!
Deanna, you are in my prayers... this is a difficult situation to be in. It is so frustrating when other church members do not share our vision, or see things the way we do, and seemingly work against us. We aren't dictators, but we are "leaders"... I am praying for your comfort first, then wisdom and direction, and for our gracious loving Lord to resolve this issue once and for all... peaceably.
In Christ, Robin
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Rejoicing in HOPE, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer (Romans 12:12)
