How does everyone feel about babies and toddlers during worship who may cause problems in worship service? Crying, fussing, kicking the pew. And the parents who do not choose to use the nursery facility. I am not judging, just an observation that some parents like to keep the little ones with them, which is great until the Pastor has to stop preaching to ask the lady with a screaming baby to please take him out so he can continue.
This happened to Dave a few months ago, and he felt badly, but this very young mom did not get it. I have not seen her around for a while and I wonder if we have hurt her feelings. Dave was very gentle about it.
I also have many friends who nurse the way they did in the Bible, until age 4 or 5. Many of them do it during worship, albeit VERY discretly! It does not bother us at all, but some people used to complain about it. These ladies do not attend my church, but we used to attend thier's many years ago.
I just wondered how you ladies and your DH's who are Pastors have handled this issue. Love,lw
-- Edited by LW at 13:58, 2004-11-28
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
Not as a pastor or PW, but just as a woman...let me just say...I think women need to get the kid off of nursing by four or five...LORD HAVE MERCY! I mean...what do you think of this, LW? I enjoyed nursing myself with my kids, but a year is the limit for me. I think two at the most...but beyond that I think is a bit strange.
In our church, we have the last row on all sections designated for "families with infants and small children, only...we have laminated signs that sit on those sections...therefore, if they are going to keep their children in the service, they know that they are expected to sit there simply because by doing that, the kids are not a distraction as much to all those in the front. (When someone with kids sits in the front, EVERYONE sees what goes on...but if they sit in the back, only a limited amount see it and hopefully they take them out when they become a disturbance. Larry has never had to tell anyone to quiet down or anything...he's pretty good about rolling with it and not much causes him to lose concentration. He's pretty easy going but I know a lot of pastors are nervous or can't handle any sort of distraction.
If anything became really out of order in our church, the ushers would quietly say something.
Well, I only nursed successfully until six months with my first one, she weaned herself when I got really sick and refused the breast. I had 2 babies after that with health problems causing long hostpital stays for them the next 2 times, then my last, she just weaned herself at four months and refused the breast after that. But I have seen this lifestyle of extended nursing and homeschooling work very well. My friend Mary's oldest is now 24 and graduated Magna Cum Laude from a fine college and is now a teacher. (not to say this can't happen in other types of families, 'cause it does!)The other kids have similar situations. One friend has a son about to enter med. school. I have asked the now adult kids if they recall nursing at five and they have just very dim memories of comfort, but not any situation they can actually recall. These kids grew up to be very normal and intelligent and healthy. I did think it was very strange when confronted with it, as nursing itself was odd to me long ago, but then I watched these kids grow up to be great Christians and so, I have no gripes, not after seeing how these kids turned out. But, and this is very important, it is a matter of preference!! I also have friends who stopped at one, two, and three. Any breast feeding is better than none at all. I usually, as a nurse working in the post partum unit for a while, would recommend nursing until the end of the first year. But I told every patient that I knew a lactation consultant they could call who nursed until four or five years. But, as I said, it is a matter of personal needs and preference.
Anyway, I think that seating you mentioned is a great idea! I may suggest that. And you know, after ten years at this church, this was the only time I ever saw Dave do this, and he told me that he had never done it before, but this little boy was just screeching at the top of his lungs and I think he just could not concentrate anymore. The boy was a toddler with a great set of lungs! Love ya', LW
-- Edited by LW at 21:38, 2004-11-28
-- Edited by LW at 21:43, 2004-11-28
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
Whatever you do, don't depend on the children's pastor to discipline the kids, LOL!!!
Seriously, when kids are misbehaving in church, even if their parents are there, I get looks from some people, like 'aren't you going to do something?'. I am perfectly willing to take care of a kid who is there without Mom & Dad, because I do view them more as my responsibility. But if parents are sitting in worship, it is THEIR responsibility to teach their kids how to behave in the house of the Lord!! Not the children's pastor, or the youth pastor, or the senior pastor.
I went to a Benny Hinn crusade in September, where he actually stopped his sermon and told a mother to take her child outside because he was giving a salvation message and he started crying. I don't know how I feel about that - all that woman is going to remember is that she went to a Benny Hinn crusade and Benny Hinn himself ordered her out. And he's not exactly "gentle" in his approach, either. DH just leaned over and whispered to me, "Well, I guess he dosn't have an anointing to work with kids!" Because he and I hadn't even noticed until Benny Hinn said something...
It will actually take quite alot from a kid to disturb me as I am around little ones all the time. And as I said, in 20 years, Dave did it once, and he hated to because of what you mentioned and because he loves kids.
At the opening of worship, he always has a "kid's corner". It's like a special little message just for them. Dave calls them to the front and gives them a little object lesson. Like once, he used duct tape for one. He said "See how easy it is for the tape to get stuck on it's self, then it becomes completely useless to us. Well, if we get all stuck on ourselves, we become useless to God. We need to put others first."
That was my favorite one! Anyway, I can also see how some people look to the kid's pastor to handle this,that would be a pain for you, but MOST parents in our church who keep the little ones in worship are very responsible, and know when the little one needs to go out of sanctuary for the sake of others who are in worship. Blessings, lw
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
Regarding our church, I wasn't even commenting on kids misbehaving. We never have that in the adult service. Generally the kids are in their own service until they hit the 6th grade. We have a toddler children's church, and then an elementary K-5th children's church and so unless a parent chooses to keep them in the sanctuary which they rarely do, we really do not have misbehavior going on. We also have the kids church in the evening, and on Wed. nights they are in Rangers or Missionettes. So this is something we really don't deal with as a problem.
My comments were regarding "babies" who are...too young to misbehave...they are just crying for whatever reason. Moms with little babies sit on the back row (if they don't choose to put them in nursery). We haven't really had anybody leave their child to cry in there...they usually make an exit as soon as it starts and come back in when it stops.
Re: having the children's pastor be responsible for the kids in adult service...I think that is crazy. I've never heard of it. And I would not put up with it either. How could a children's pastor possibly be responsible for all these kids who are spread across the sanctuary with their parents? Personally if the children's pastor came up to me while my child was sitting with me (if they were misbehaving) I would think it a little odd...they are my kid, so I would expect to deal with them. There are times when I'm on the platform that somebody has helped me out by asking one of the kids to quiet down and I appreciate it. With 2 teens now I really don't have to worry about it...Dustin does the multi media for our services and when he doesn't he teaches kids church in the evenings. Jordan is on our worship team and generally with me on the platform, and Savanna is always in kids church. Thankfully my days of giving my kids "the eye" is over. But how well I remember those oft' times frustrating days!
who may cause problems in worship service? Crying, fussing, kicking the pew.
And the parents who do not choose to use the nursery facility. I am not judging, just an observation that some parents like to keep the little ones with them, which is great until the Pastor has to stop preaching to ask the lady with a screaming baby to please take him out so he can continue.
I have not seen her around for a while and I wonder if we have hurt her feelings. Dave was very gentle about it.
Many of them do it during worship, albeit VERY discretly! It does not bother us at all, but some people used to complain about it.
These ladies do not attend my church, but we used to attend thier's many years ago.
Love,lw
I mean...what do you think of this, LW? I enjoyed nursing myself with my kids, but a year is the limit for me. I think two at the most...but beyond that I think is a bit strange.
but then I watched these kids grow up to be great Christians and so, I have no gripes, not after seeing how these kids turned out. But, and this is very important, it is a matter of preference!! I also have friends who stopped at one, two, and three. Any breast feeding is better than none at all. I usually, as a nurse working in the post partum unit for a while, would recommend nursing until the end of the first year. But I told every patient that I knew a lactation consultant they could call who nursed until four or five years. But, as I said, it is a matter of personal needs and preference.
I may suggest that. And you know, after ten years at this church, this was the only time I ever saw Dave do this, and he told me that he had never done it before, but this little boy was just screeching at the top of his lungs and I think he just could not concentrate anymore. The boy was a toddler with a great set of lungs! Love ya', LW
