I wanted to write this to Deanna only, but I want others advice as well.
Lately, I have been feeling a tugging at my heart to be more active in public ministry with my dh. I have been feeling the need to help him more in the public arena. I am slightly hesitant b/c public speaking and being out front has never been a strength for me. I do not understand why I am desiring this now(I really want to be his helper, I think???). I AM HORRIFIED!!!
This past Sunday I watched him conduct the whole entire service from beginning to benediction. He was so tired. I was so saddened b/c our team and ministers are such babies and infants in their behavior. He is trying to train and equip them for the work of the ministry, but they(some) are just not getting it. So, he ends up doing their duties.
On the inside my Spirit is stepping up, but my body and flesh keeps shrinking back saying,"you really don't know enough, yet."
How do I know this feeling I have is true. My spiritual mom says that sometimes the very thing you try so hard to fight is the very area God will use you in. I do not understand why He would use me speaking in front of crowds. I have always been afraid of crowds and public speaking. I have always been behind the scenes, raising and caring for our babies.
Talk to me ladies if you know what I' m going through. Thanks.
When I was a teenager God called me into the ministry to work youth and to be a pastor's wife. This was something spoken over me several times. During the course of my teenage-hood I was around people who preached in front of lots of people and planted churches. I told myself I would never be a church planter, never preach in front of people and that was that!
15 years later I am a pastor's wife, I preach in front of people and we will plant a church some day in the future. Does some of this scare me? Yes! But I find myself in His will and His purpose and He gives me the strength and wisdom to do things I never would have thought of doing. When my husband and I were dating he told me over and over his heart for church planting and the vision that went along with it. I supported the idea, but that idea did not become "mine" until a year later. During a service the Holy Spirit spoke to me about the church-to-be and implanted a vision so deep inside of me that it is now my baby too! We both have a heart to plant this church when it is God's time.
The great thing about God is that He gives us the future one day at a time. He knows how much we can carry. Be willing to take small steps of obedience first and you will find your steps get larger with each one! You are not alone in this and the fact you shared this with us is great!
The enemy will always tell you and me that we will never be good enough or know enough or anything enough to do God's work. However, with Him we are everything and a big of chips! He is all that we lack!
My friend was called to be an Air-Force Chaplin when she was just 19 years old. She had a great fear of speaking in front of crowds yet knew God's calling on her was greater! She took public speaking that next semester. She stumbled, but did her best. She would be alone in her room every night reading her text to a mirror. The more she did this and practiced, the more she became confident in herself. One night after a student service was over she was crying at the altar. Everyone else had left, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me that she didn't think she was good enough to preach. I prayed for her then had her get up on the stage. I told her to open The Word and read to me. She did and I told her to start seeing herself as God sees her. That night she was up there an hour and preached me a sermon. I cry even now thinking about this. The week after that she enrolled in Air Force Reserves. She took that first step, 8 years later she is Captain/Chaplin Sarah in the Air Force and an ordained minister with the PH. She is about to go overseas for her first time. She is one of my dearest friends, and one of the most amazing women who I have ever heard preach. Every Sunday she preaches to hundreds of our men and women in uniform over 3 different services. God is a God of impossiblites! He is the Way Maker! Take a step!
Some things you can do to take a step:
1. Continue to ask others for prayer support and wisdom. 2. Talk to DH about what God is speaking to your heart. 3. Write down some ways or ideas to slowly incorperate yourself into the ministry of the church. You could do the offerring, or the ending prayer. You could teach an adult sunday school class (depending on what kind of church you are in). 4. We will never know enough because we are all life long learners. A great leader is one who is willing to be consistant, constant, and a life long learner.
Wow!! is all that I can say. I am crying so hard as I read this response because I see God. I can see that God is calling me to do this and He knows my insecurities. He does not make mistakes.
It is so true that He is a God of impossibilities. I look at me standing before the church as impossible, but I forgot that all things are possible to those who believe.
Thanks for the encouragement. I will begin with baby steps. I can do it. I believe I can.
I believe in you and God does too! Remember, He is the potter and and we are the clay! Clay is alway being molded and shaped and sometimes it hurts, but in the end we are a vessels for His Glory!
I will be praying for you! I am excited for you too! ~Autumn
You know I often wonder whether or not David was scared when he went before Goliath... He was so boisterous in his words but I wonder if he ever said to himself "now what did I get myself into..."
I said that because I need you to know that we are all scared - The Bible puts it this way, Serve the LORD withfear, and rejoice withtrembling.
There are five times in scripture that this combination is brought before us and the last one is the one that really gets me excited - we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.... (Philippians 2:12)
Now I know that in depth study will tell us that this fear is reverential fear - awe - wonder, but the trembling part... Hmm... Don't let your fear keep you from doing great things for God, as a matter of fact there should be a greater fear in you of what would happen if you did not do what God called you to do...
First of all, I agree with everything that has been said. Such words of wisdom. I also know from experience that what these ladies have said has been true in my own life. I grew up being in front, ministry was all I knew. Despite that, when I get up to teach or preach, I am still nervous and fearful many times. This is natural, but we cannot let it paralyze or deter us from fulfilling our God-given purpose. Our comfort comes in knowing that if He has ordained it, then He will do it through us if we allow Him. Once I get up and the anointing takes over, girl fear is out the window.
Philippians 1:6 says, "I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ, developing and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you."
You may not feel like you know enough or have enough experience, but that's O.K. God still working on all of us. (If we think that He's not, then we are really in trouble.) If God is speaking to your heart and prompting you to do this, then allow Him to grow and develop you in this area. The catch is, you have to do something. You can't develop by just thinking about it. Start slow. The more you do, the more confident, comfortable, and prolific you will become.
Paul goes on to say in verse 7 that "It is right and appropriate for me to have this confidence and feel this way about you, because you have me in your heart and I hold you in my heart as partakers and sharers." We are in this together. I am praying for you!
