What do you guys do to pull yourself out of a spiritual rut or lull? Surely I am not alone. Why is it we can get so "busy" that we let ourselves start to dry up spiritually and then feel like we have let too many days slide since we've read our Bible or something and we get condemned? How do you combat it?
Do you ladies ever have to keep on "doing" when you feel like the least spiritual person you know? What does God do to rekindle you and recharge you?
I am not aking becuase this is happening to me or anything....
uh no... I ..uh...have this friend. Yeah I hav ethis friend...and she uh...she told me this. Yeah that's it. It's not ME. Goodness no. LOL
Please tell me I am not the only one that slips into "neutral" and starts feeling a little spiritually dehydrated?
I hestitated asking, but we can be honest here right.
Here lately I have been so consumed in trying to keep my own house (Literally!) and life in order that I feel I've lost all the "burden" for others and I think...man...I am that bad? I feel so selfish. Especially compared to my husbands burden and desire to minister. Do you ever feel your burden wain or is it just me? Have I become one of the self absorbed women that we all become aggravated at? Where is my desire to minister the word? I feel like there is so much screwed up with ME I have no right to try and help someone else. I know I have a beam in my eye! I feel better today. But it has been a tough couple of months and I am ready to FEEL the same desire for minstry growth that my husband is feeling. I am tired of doubting and being so critical..even of him. Do you ever go through things with dh, I mean you love him dearly, but you start getting critical of things and before you know it you can even receive from his ministry any more? I am being gut level honest here. I know I preach my sermons when we get on my soap box, but I need some honest answers form those in the trenches with me? I am alone? Am I destined to going through the inistry motions or have any of you had to stir your self up? How do you do it with out feeling like you are just trying to appease your self? Yeah, we are talking serious mental wafare. It's been vicious. Please. Reply! I need to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. (Some dirt on YOUR husbands would help too LOL)
Sorry for the horrible spelling. I wanted reinerate on something. I still feel very passionate about truth. I still love to discuss the Word and my favorite is doctrine. I love to get into theological discussions. But how do you pull yourself out of the serious mental warfare...I mean the kind that is constant assulting you, and your relationship with God. Does it ever feel like it cuts you a break for a while then hits you again on down the road, like it is a cycle? I guess that's always the case for everyone...but as women do you think we are more suseptible being that we are puled in so many directions? Add to that that our dh can be so inconsiderate at times (even with their ministry pursuits!) Or is my dh the only one that is still flesh.
I guess we just start neglecting our own spiritual growth. I know you hit on this once on a post Deanna. About how Sundays recharge you becuase you are in the Word more on Sunday than other days and why we can't have that everyday? I've been force feeding my self scripture the past two days and I feel alot better but I want to find an aswer for this. How do you feed your spirit?
what are some things God uses to breath fresh wind in your sails? It's not like you can tell your congregation what you go through so how do you deal with it? Alot of questions...from a complex person. Sometimes I stress my own self out! lol
thanks for being honest & i'll be honest too...yes, i have felt the way you are feeling right now. just last spring in fact i had many of the same emotions & thoughts running through my head.
to be truthful, i had allowed myself to get on auto-pilot with ministry. things were very busy and it was a season of tremendous growth in our church and everything seemed to be moving sooo fast. looking back, i just allowed the busyness to overshadow my personal time with the Lord. i was teaching classes each week and taking care of much, probably too much, and though i enjoyed the 'charge' from teaching the women and stuff...other things suffered.
i was in the habit of setting aside time to rest each week and i began to neglect that. my husband & I did a date night often and we slowly began to neglect that also. we were slowly hanging ourselves but couldn't see or feel it until things began to crash some (in our personal life). i came to a point of being very critical also of my dh, which was my sign that i was in trouble. communication between us has always been the strong point of our marriage and here I was tearing him down with my comments!
i felt as if the ministry was taking over our lives and my dh & I often argued about who should cut back, etc. oh, it was a dark time...it is over now, but i am sad to say that it was a time that the enemy had a hayday in my marriage....and i felt like i had opened the door and let him in.
what did i do? i remember one day getting up and realizing that i needed to repent before the Lord and cry out to Him for help. Yes, my dh had been insensitive at times...but i knew that my attitude needed a major adjustment. i canceled everything for two days and just spent time in prayer...asking, begging the Lord to "clean me up" and give me a new heart towards the ministry and my dh's role. i felt renewed. i love worship music playing anywhere in the house or car & over the next several days & weeks, I spent lots of time just in praise....being grateful and thankful. it helped to turn me around.
aside from the spiritual aspect, i also realized that i needed to pamper myself every once in a while!! this was some advice that i had gotten from a dear pastor's wife before, but because $$ is not always abundant, i really didn't do it. well, over the summer, i changed that! I know it may sound silly, but because i give so much to everyone...dh, my daughters, the ministry, hospitality,etc. , i REALLY feel like i should 'pay myself back' or something. so i scheduled a pedicure!! :o) now, i try to do things at different times to just splurge on just something...it's often little, but it works for me. i know this part might not have anything to do with renewing the spiritual rut, but just wanted to share!
That is wonderful to hear. That is what I have been trying to do. I finally had myself agood cry the other ight and repented for ignoring the Lord and not putting HIm first and since then have been keeping the music going but not just the music, but like you said the thankful attitude and I can feel HIM! It is great because it so easy to coast and start giving out of your soul until you are depleted. And it is the breeding ground of criticalness. I have been so critical of dh. Everything from his grammar to his appearance. Some of it may be warranted but there are times I could keep my mouth shut but I am wanting to lash out at him. But it really isn't about him. Its about not taking care of ourselves while we minister to everyone else. I am one who will not even go by myself new underwear (not enough $, kids need it more than me) and SURE won't buy myself PRETTY underwear. I get extra money and I buy stuff for the house and I know I should treat myself to a little happy everynow and then too. It is easy to get into a rut, not so easy to get out. You have to aquire that spiritual appetite again. The encouraagement I get here helps too. It is so wonderful to not be alone. And know that even if no one related to you they would still lift you and try to encourage you. Thank you so much for your words. They were very encouraging.
Lord no, you are NOT alone! I face this all the time. All of the things you have mentioned, I battle. Everyone does, if they would be honest.
For me, I have to be faithful in taking time off. I'm not so good at that and I'm very good at justifying why I need to deprive myself of time to re-group. "Just this once" turns into 10 or 20 times in a row, then I realize, I have become as dry as a corn shuck, because...I haven't stopped to even breathe let alone have real "personal" time with God. (Time aside from preparing teachings, worship services. etc.) Add to this that Dh and I face all the things you mentioned...we can get in an argumentative state, critical, and you're right it will seem like every little thing they do, just the way they even breathe will drive you crazy! My question when I get in this state is, 'HOW DID I ALLOW MYSELF TO GET HERE AGAIN? DIDN'T I LEARN FROM THIS THE LAST TIME?" No, and it's very easy to slide into it again and again.
Sometimes you just have to make hard decisions. I'm not going in to work today (at the church.) I have a district meeting all day tomorrow, which is our day off . (We take Fridays.) I made the decision, I'm taking today off, because if not I would have no day off this week whatsoever. So, today I'm staying home, and primarily doing what I like to do at home -- take a long bath in my tub, catch up on line here with you, catch up on what's going on with the Scott Peterson verdict watch and yes, also reading my bible and just getting quiet with the Lord for some precious moments before the kids burst in the door from school. (mine have school today even though it's Veterans Day because they have hurricane make up days) Yes, I'll do a few things like put a load of clothes in, or tidy up a room here or there but by and large I'm going to rest today because I need it!
I would just encourage you, Cassandra, that a little rest is spiritual. You know that because you're such a student of the Word, but sometimes you must be reminded. Take at least a few minutes each day to do something kind for yourself, many of which don't cost money. After the kids are in bed, treat yourself to a bubble bath...read a good book for a few minutes...light the candles when it's just "you" there...put on a CD that lifts your spirit...be kind to yourself because you have to recharge to give out to the many people who you give to.
Don't buy into the devil's lie that you are alone, nor condemned. Everybody feels stress with dh now and again...everybody goes through the pressures you mention. The key is, just keep picking yourself up and going on, learning from the lessons each time.
Love you and hope you find some quiet moments today,
I work a full time day job besides my ministry, plus my DH runs a community theatre company (a completely different kind of ministry, if you've ever met any theatre people!) that I am very involved in. On top of that, I'm trying to get my stuff together by the end of this month to get credentialed.
So yeah, I have definitely experienced "spiritual ruts." Just coming out of one now, in fact!
I have an extremely understanding boss who is of the mind that I am an adult, and I can use my vacation time whenever, for whatever. I've had days where I just wake up and call him saying, "I haven't had a day off in months. I'm taking one today." And then DH and I spend the day together (he's self-employed, so he can give himself the day off!). We don't usually pray and read the Bible together all day - but the emotional and physical "recharging" helps my whole spiritual outlook, too.
One thing I do (and have started again) when I feel particularly sad or depressed or in a rut is to make a daily list of 5 things to be thankful for. I tape it to my desk so I can look at it all day and smile. My list for today is:
-A Wednesday night where God shows up
-Letting it be their problem (*my mom's favorite piece of advice - when she dies, I swear I'm going to have it put on her tombstone!)
-Fluffy kitties who claim me as part of their family
-The smell of hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks
-Solving the world's problems over pots of coffee and a big pile of fries with ranch dressing
We all struggle with this, at least it has been my observation that many of us do. Sometimes we feel bogged down and overwhelmed with responsabilities.(HOME, DH, KIDS, SCHOOL,ect....)
Sometimes, I just take a day, or two if I can, and just clean the house up really well, this always makes me feel better, I put on some good OLD TV, not the new junk that's on, munch a little bit(chocolate is good for the spirit!!!), spend some good cuddle time with kids or dh, that sort of thing. Then, I get back into my home office, put on music that is holy and uplifting, and I get back to work.
Pulling back to regroup is not a sin you know. As I have said before, even Jesus spent time alone, away from the masses as it were to refresh himself. We all need to.
I guess you can call it a rut, but I think at times we just get tired of the same battles. People who work the system, other ministries who will not work in harmony with ours for whatever reason, impossible members who drain all the oxygen out of the room not to mention all the joy!(Deanna, can I get your input please on members and oxygen?And any others who have experience on this one?)
Anyone who says they are joyful all the time is not being honest. It is good you have brought this up! Later gals!love you all! lw
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
quote: Originally posted by: LW "Hang in there Cassandra! We all struggle with this, at least it has been my observation that many of us do. Sometimes we feel bogged down and overwhelmed with responsabilities.(HOME, DH, KIDS, SCHOOL,ect....) Sometimes, I just take a day, or two if I can, and just clean the house up really well, this always makes me feel better, I put on some good OLD TV, not the new junk that's on, munch a little bit(chocolate is good for the spirit!!!), spend some good cuddle time with kids or dh, that sort of thing. Then, I get back into my home office, put on music that is holy and uplifting, and I get back to work. Pulling back to regroup is not a sin you know. As I have said before, even Jesus spent time alone, away from the masses as it were to refresh himself. We all need to. I guess you can call it a rut, but I think at times we just get tired of the same battles. People who work the system, other ministries who will not work in harmony with ours for whatever reason, impossible members who drain all the oxygen out of the room not to mention all the joy!(Deanna, can I get your input please on members and oxygen?And any others who have experience on this one?) Anyone who says they are joyful all the time is not being honest. It is good you have brought this up! Later gals!love you all! lw"
Well, as you can see above, I have been asked by LW to comment on members who drain all the oxygen out of the room.
I have found the best way to deal with this is to not focus on it, first of all. You can't dwell on it, focus on it, nor spend all your time there. Firm boundaries are important. I don't let anyone drain me dry anymore unless I want them to drain me dry. I know how to quickly bring a conversation to prayer, to a close, or on to something else if need be. It's a learned art, but you can learn it.
As far as people who drain the oxygen out publicly, as in raising their hand in a class and basically giving a filibuster (sp?)...I don't allow that either. Experience helps you with this one. I had a lady in my women's class who would give dissertations and beside the fact that they were long, they were completely off the wall. Everybody would try to sit behind her so that they could all silently laugh while I was trying to extricate myself out of yet another encounter with her. (Meanwhile I had to keep a straight face.) People after class would say, "WE DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT!" Basically I learned how to quickly interject, cut to the chase, say, "thank you..." and move right on to somebody else's comment or my own comment, or prayer or whatever.
Perhaps I need more input on what you mean by "oxygen". I assume you mean people who just suck all the life out of the place, the air out of the room, by being draining, negative, high maintenance?? Each thing requires a different approach. How I deal with each:
1) Drains - I don't allow them to go on and on. Cut to the chase. Get to the point. Move on.
2) Negativity - don't tolerate it. I basically have a zero tolerance policy on this but the way I deal with it is to combat it with positive remarks 100% of the time and just keep things upbeat. If someone persists in being negative, I announce, "we don't do things like that around here" if need be.
3) High Maintenance - I ask other leaders to help me with this. Sometimes they head people off at the pass, cut off my conversations, etc. At home I use caller id, the answering machine. In person, I make sure I have an exit. Someone's always needing something from me. If I have someone high maintenance who's trying to hold me there for an inappropriate amount of time, I'll just say, "I'm sorry, I am needed in the back for prayer" or something (and it's always true) and this extricates me pretty easily.
I also have two staff members who are armor bearers to me who would not allow anything to get out of hand. I can call on them at any time to help me in dealing with a difficult situation.
Hope this helps, but feel free to re-clarify and I'll answer further.
Thanks Deanna! Negativity and high maitenance is what I had in mind. I tend to let it go on, not sure why. I do not dwell there, but, I do tend to let the high maint. people drain me. I have never been as good about my own boundaries as I am about respecting the boundaries of others. I always tend to put others first. Which is ok I guess, until one of these people comes in and they keep you from helping someone else because they are such a drain. I will try to do better with this skill, it's simply an unexcercised muscle is all. Thanks for being so honest, I know I can always count on that! lw
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
I used to do the same thing, and sometimes still feel the pull to do so. (BTW, I think it's what God wants us to do -- put other first -- BUT, there are still boundaries even with that.) I learned when I let high maintenance people have their way no matter what, other people who really needed me really suffered. (church people who really need attention as well as my family.) You can't keep ministering to the same people over and over again who never change. Know what I mean?
Deanna, I do know what you mean....but it is tough to back off. I also know that God wants us to put others first, but, it is also true that there are still boundaries. We may let others slide due to helping the same person over an over. love ya', lw
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...... Then they came for the Catholics, and I was a Protestant, so I never said anything. And then, they came for ME, and there was no one left to speak up. Martin Neimoller, German Pastor, WW2
and yes, also reading my bible and just getting quiet with the Lord for some precious moments before the kids burst in the door from school. (mine have school today even though it's Veterans Day because they have hurricane make up days) Yes, I'll do a few things like put a load of clothes in, or tidy up a room here or there but by and large I'm going to rest today because I need it!
