Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in "armor bearer central," but this won the coin toss, lol!
My DH and I are planning to start trying to have kids soon. When we first got married, being in the ministry wasn't even on the radar, and we had a whole different set of goals and things we wanted to accomplish before we had kids.
Well...life happened...God called...and it took us a little extra time to figure out where our lives were going, and to get out of a situation that was not healthy for us...and now we're back on track.
I'm a little bit worried, though - we have a plan, but the truth is, our lives are so crazy right now, I have no idea how we're going to fit kids in. And while I would do ministry on a volunteer basis if that's what God called me to do (and I would still do it 100% - I've done volunteer kids' ministry or just about volunteer ministry since I was 12 years old, and this is my first real paid position!), I really need the paycheck right now.
As you all know, the ministry is unique in that you don't just come to the office for 8 hours, then leave at the end of the day and emotionally "check out." I could do that when I was an administrative assistant. But being a pastor - whether you're a senior pastor or a staff pastor - is something that can consume you 24/7. Is there a such thing as "balance"? Is having kids and being in full time, paid ministry even possible?
We have some ideas on how to make that work, but I'm afraid sometimes that I'm just being one of those idealistic "non-parents" who thinks I know everything about parenting. Which I don't - I don't even pretend to know all there is.
Maybe I'm just overthinking this. I'd love to hear from some of you "ministry moms" out there on how you make the whole thing work...
Yes, it is possible. I've done it and am doing it.
Pastor Jenn Lee taught a workshop on this at Unstoppable (you need to get the DVD!) One thing she said was, "I've learned many times you can't balance everything, but you do need to know how to juggle!" There are times balance is impossible...everything doesn't fit in nice neat little boxes. I think some people try so hard to separate everything into church/home/ etc. and that's sort of not workable.
The way I've done it is to involve my kids in ministry. Dr. Wayne Lee (Jenn's father in law) has done life/ministry coaching for Larry and I and he often says, "the ministry is all consuming, so involve your kids in it..." I agree with that. My kids have been quite literally "raised in the ministry." It's all they know. when I was minister of music, I had Dustin one week and in the next few weeks, he started coming to choir practice...first being held by various choir members while I directed...then as he grew, I'd direct and he'd be playing on the floor nearby...finally he got to the toddler stage and I remember I'd be directing and he'd be playing in the sanctuary with his little plastic popper toy and vaccum cleaner! It's no mystery...today he helps lead worship, plays guitar - he's very active in church music. This is where he's spent his time.
I believe in INVOLVING your kids in ministry. Bring them along in whatever you do and cultivate a love for ministry in them. You and Patrick minister a lot in drama. Just imagine involving your little one in what you do and having them raised up in this...they will be so excited to take on an even greater role as they grow!!!
I totally agree. deanna had to teach me this. I have 4 small toddlers, and they love church. They often say that they will become preachers, and singers and nursery workers, b/c they see me and participate with me in working in ministry. I am training them in this way, so this way is all they will know. It is exactly what my mom did to me. She always brought me to choir practice with her. Later I began singing in the choir, and still 15 years later I am still singing and so are my children.
Ministry is our life, so it is hard to put it into seperate boxes. We just combine the two, when it comes to family. And, God always gives us someone to help us hold, and love our babies. All of our babies had someone special in the church to take care of them while I served, and still does.
It's no mystery...today he helps lead worship, plays guitar - he's very active in church music. This is where he's spent his time.
