Hope everyone is doing well. It has been quite sometime since I posted. I forgot my loggin and password, but I finally remembered it.
I don't know what to do, my dh told me last night he felt like he was fixing to loose it (emotionally). He said he is constantly angry at everything and everyone. (Like I didn't notice) He doesn't like being like this. He can't prepare a sermon with that kind of attitude. That is stressing him out even more. A couple of months ago he took a step out in faith and quit his job to work full time in the ministry, but since then financially everything has went haywire. Found out yesterday we have to come up with $2,000-$3,000 to have some dental work done on him. He has a severe gum infection that is spreading throughout his body. They have to pull all his upper teeth, and he hates that. He even considered call our state office and resigning as pastor. He can't do that I know God has placed us here and we haven't completed our job here, I know this. I guess that is why he did not make the call. He said he feels like no one else cares about the church growing or the church period. He asked me if he could be to dedicated to the ministry. I didn't think so, but can you? We have had people verbally attack us and our children so much in the past 2 months that he finally had enough when a church member called Monday morning. She started in and apparently they both said things that they shouldn't have and since have apologized, but he is hurt. We have been attacked before, but it seems like it is becoming an everyday thing. Why do people attack his pastoring skills and abilities when they get mad at him? Pastoring is our life; it is our calling; but I am really worried about him and don't know what to do.
Missy - I am praying for you and for your beloved husband. Unfortunately, when we step out to do great things for God, the devil sees our bold move and recognizes it as an attack on his kingdom and he fights back hard... But you are anointed to the pulling down of strongholds, you are the uprooter, you are the destroyer of the schemes of the wicked. God has placed in you a terminator mentality - you are there to terminate the enemy's plans...
Now lets be honest - in the natural when some one comes to hit you and you see the attack, what is your response? You put your arms up to block them, you push them away, you scream out, you call for reinforcements - so it is in the spiritual - Satan sees you attacking his kingdom and so he is pushing you back. But I remind you that the gates of hell shall not prevail against the church - therefore stand with your loins gird about with truth...
The thing about truth is that it is wrapped up in brokenness. Psalm 51 tells us that God desires truth in the inward parts, in our hidden part will he make us to know wisdom. The sacrifice that is acceptable to God is a broken heart and a broken and contrite spirit he will not deny. Perhaps this is the cutting away, the SHABAR that is taking place in your life.
Interesting that your husband's spiritual health is being made manifest in his teeth. Teeth are the gate to the mouth - I hear the Lord say - I am removing your barriers and although you will not like the look, know that I am I am going to get to the root of your problem and I will cutaway everything that is not like me. You will be bare before me, you will see yourself as totally exposed but I am not doing it for your shame but for my glory. And then I will place in you the form that I have created for you. I will do a new thing in you.
The problem with God breaking us is that we do not like the cutting away, we don't like the feeling of being exposed, we do not like the pain of the tearing, the pain of the breaking down, the pain of the cleansing. However it is akin to going to the dentist - you feel him using his tools to rid you of plaque, but it sounds like he is breaking bone, that is because the plaque has so intertwined itself with your tooth that you are not able to discern the difference, it takes the skill and knowledge of someone who has studied the teeth to know what should and should not be removed - likewise, God is the ultimate designer of your life and he knows what is plaque and what is bone. He must scrape you to get you clean - Again in Psalm 51 - there are four words for cleaning - Blot out, Wash, Cleanse and Purge... God is purging you - which means you have already gone through the Blotting, the washing and cleansing process - Purging is much more painful, but it yields the best results.
Watch God move - if you are going to produce greatness, you must endure hardness...
Romans 5:1-5 1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Wow, wow, wow. I don't think anyone could have said it better than Flow just did. In fact, I feel like there's no need for me to go to church tonight now that I heard that!
(Except I'm preaching tonight and everybody would wonder what's going on...)
