Ok - I have never been one to post anything, chat or blog. But I found myself the last few days feeling dislocated and very lonely. I don't question my call, my position, my ministry or if my husband believes in me. I just found myself wanting and needing to connect with other pastor women for some reason.
I am a co-pastor, my husband and I have been in ministry for 20 years, I was called into ministry as a little girl, so I have never felt like a the title "pastor's wife, fit me well. Because God called me by myself long before I married my husband. We married because we had ministry in common and "other " things. For many years early in our ministry, I struggled with personal inferiority and it paralyzed my moving in my gifts and call. It wasn't until I was 30 that I experienced inner healing and a release to just be what I was called to be and move in and develop my gifts and put no limitations on the purpose of my life. WHAT FREEDOM!
As that transformation took place, my husband was in a place of readiness to "share" the Senior pastor responsibilities with me: preaching, decisions, leadership etc. But ultimately he is Senior Pastor - and that is all in order. Soon we branched out and founded together our own church. At that point I took on an equal title and any question of that equality didn't exists. (though He is my pastor). However, recently, He has found a Pastoral Alliance in which he is being blessed in being on the founding board etc. The men in the organization are incredible men....it has truly strengthened my husband to find a fellowship of like-minded pastors, etc. However, I found myself on the outside of that circle. Most of their wives are "pastor-wives" doing an incredible work , but not where I am at. I don't want to go to luncgh and shopping while the guys are in their meeting. (Trust me, I love to do lunch and I do have a shopping addiction, but I have a call and a passion and a need to be validated in that)
So, here I sat this week while my husband was at an out of town meeting with this Pastor's alliance and I thought I would google networks for Women Pastors....I was in awe and then later almost sick at the lack of networking for Pastor Women and then I was appauled as I went from site to site that felt the need to defend women in leadership roles of Pastoring or discount them entirely as rebellion. I guess I have lived the transformation of embracing who I am and what God made me to be with such personal affirmation between just me and God that I thought Women as Leaders or Pastors was not only accepted, but made a way for.
I would love to see an interdenominational network, alliance or affiliation for women pastors. I know denominations or organizations liscence women...I have been there and am there...but still it is (for a lack of better words), a boys club. Women sit "in" on the meetings, they are "invited", but really everything is addressed to the husband or the men first and there is the unspoken "oh yeah, and you" thing going on.
So my question is, is there such a thing as a Women in Ministry (non-denominational) Network or Alliance??????
And I want to say, when I came across your site, The language you used to describe this site was my language. It was like a beacon of hope. And all I could think of is that I should have thought of this and done it myself a long time ago. You beat me to it.
I hope I recieve a response and able to continue this connection.
It's a blessing to have you here...I'm so glad you found the site. I began it back in 1998 to meet the need you describe. I was searching for so long and wanted somebody to rise up and do this for me. I needed it. Everyone I asked (I suggested it to several people I felt qualified. At the time I felt that I didn't qualify to do this, but no one I approached many years ago felt interested in doing it. They said, "you have the burden, it must be your call..." After reading my umpteenth pastor's wife book and longing for more...I started pastoring partners.
God has blessed me so much in meeting many women through this ministry. Some I have met in person, others I have not and may never as many of them write anonymously. But I've been blessed to be able to say to so many those invaluable words: I UNDERSTAND. Oh how we all long to hear that from someone who is just in our world and understands our role.
Many here on the site have asked me to do a retreat for us. As of yet with my other responsibilities I have just not been able to swing it, but 2007 IS THE YEAR. I have been saying it's coming and it is, so...please (everybody reading)...mark your calendar for September 13-15 of this year, where my first partners conference "UNSTOPPABLE" will be happening! I can't wait. It will give me a chance to meet more of the precious women who gather on this site and who write to me.
Shepastor, the ladies who write on this board are just precious. I know you will enjoy them. Please do not be a stranger. You'll always find a listening, non judging ear here. And also those who give really insightful wisdom from God's Word and also know how to pray. There are many others who never post, they are just silent supporters, but many send me the occasional private email to just let me know how reading everything has encouraged them.
We welcome you here and are so excited for you in all the good things happening in your ministry and the transformation that has taken place for you in these past years. I've learned even with all that...even with God breaking the intimidation off of us, and stepping out and obeying him..............there are still many lonely seasons because truly no one understands our world like a fellow woman pastor. Someone who is really in the trenches pastoring and not just sharing a title with her husband, but somebody who is really teaching, preaching, etc. and truly living ministry.
You have many who are a kindred spirit here, so come back and consider us a place of refuge.
Welcome Shepastor. I look forward to getting to know you. This site is truly a blessing & everyone has helped me through so much. My only regret is that I don't have as much time to post as I used to.
And Deanna, I can't wait until September. I am definitely going to mark it down on the calendar.
Welcome to Pastoring Partners! I rejoice in being your sister via the internet, and pray God's richest blessing on your ministry....
I wish with you that there was a non-denominational Women in Ministry group, but I am unaware of any... I am a part of the Interdemonational Minister's Wives and Widows, but that is more geared for the wives of Ministers, and focuses on First Ladies and the role of being a wife, although it is strong in spiritual guidance, I am not sure that it will give you the desired network you are seeking.
DEANNA - I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEPTEMBER.... That is actually during our church anniversary, but since we celebrate the entire month, perhaps I can slip away for that one weekend... Let me know if you need me to do anything.
This is a great place - I'm one of those unique female pastors who ISN'T a pastor's wife! My husband works at a bank, lol!
Yup...I can relate to feeling a little "out of place." I love my current church, but I'm the first woman they've had on staff whose husband wasn't also on staff. I think they don't know what to do with me sometimes .
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